Tag Archives: spouse

Marriage breakdown

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FIRSTLY DID YOU MAKE A MISTAKE, A SERIOUS ONE AND PUT YOUR FAMILY BEFORE GOD, FOR GOD NEXT WILL SHOW YOU YOUR ERROR, HE WILL SHOW YOU WHAT YOUR FAMILY IS REALLY LIKE NOW TOO..

Mat 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. Mat 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. Mat 10:36 And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household. Mat 10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Mat 10:38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.

These days it is very likley that you get divorced as likley as you will get cancer or a heart disease.. many divorces are ALSO caused even by outside influences.. such by the input of bad persons too… demons such as lawyers, bad judges, relatives and the  bad pastors too.. http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2014/01/04/the-problem-of-doing-your-own-thing/

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John 4:16    Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither. 17    The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: 18    For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.

I draw your attention to this women that Jesus himself had  encountered whose numerous husbands did not meet her needs.

John 4: 10    Jesus answered and said unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water. 13    Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again: 14    But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life. 15    The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw.

God alone has the sole final thirst quencher too..

 All these clearly fools, perverse judges, lawyers, and spouses show us all openly again and again what they are realy like by their own bad acts HERE TOO. http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2009/01/02/divorce-and-remarriage-in-the-christian-church/
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Sad but true also that  most liars falsely do not admit lying is a bad sin..Sad that most people do lie..cause they falsely still do beleive that it can produce good for them and others.. but that is not so.. and. continual liars do now even become mentally sick persons.. http://canada.today.tripod.com/d/lying.htm
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LET’S ALSO  NOT PRETEND TO BE DUMB AND DENY THAT MANY OF THE SPOUSES AND THEIR LAWYERS, SUPPORTERS OFTEN WASTE THE COURT’S TIME AND TAX PAYER’S MONEY FOR  THEY DO LIE IN DIVORCE DISPUTE TO THE COURTS TOO.. DO COMMIT PERJURY TO TH COURTS  AND RARELY FACE ANY NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES FOR IT.
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One cause of many of the marriage problem is a false pride, family pride, the lying wife even bragging how good her family, parents are or how good her husband is.. for pride is a very deadly sin, and also the problem of gifts.. There is no one who is Just, Good according to the Bible too. 

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(Deu 16:19 KJV)  Thou shalt not wrest judgment; thou shalt not respect persons, neither take a gift: for a gift doth blind the eyes of the wise, and pervert the words of the righteous.
(Prov 17:8 KJV)  A gift is as a precious stone in the eyes of him that hath it: whithersoever it turneth, it prospereth.
(Prov 17:23 KJV)  A wicked man taketh a gift out of the bosom to pervert the ways of judgment.
(Eccl 7:7 KJV)  Surely oppression maketh a wise man mad; and a gift destroyeth the heart.
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Perverted by gifts.  I have seen it happen, Husbands have complained about it to me as well, one  of many serious reasons a marriage can break down is the meddling in laws, where the mother and father in law, brother or sister give a gift to the wife, and she next indecently, independently  refuses to share this gift with her husband, but on top of that she loses respect for her husband, cause he did not give this money to her, this same gift is actually a bribe that destroys the marriage. The gift should have been given to the husband and not the wife.
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(1 Cor 11:3 KJV)  But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
(Eph 5:23 KJV)  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
(1 Pet 2:7 KJV)  Unto you therefore which believe he is precious: but unto them which be disobedient, the stone which the builders disallowed, the same is made the head of the corner,
(Psa 5:5 KJV)  The foolish shall not stand in thy sight: thou hatest all workers of iniquity.
(Prov 9:6 KJV)  Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.
(Prov 9:13 KJV)  A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.
(Prov 14:1 KJV)  Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
(Prov 15:7 KJV)  The lips of the wise disperse knowledge: but the heart of the foolish doeth not so.
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Many people falsely believe that because they are married  professing Christians they are spared, immune from all marriage problems and divorce. The high rate of divorce amongst even evangelical Christians is also now due to the fact they are merely Playing religion and merely going to church for show which is totally inadequate as well. No matter what the false excuse, false justification one now offers, when one is often busy doing their own will, their own thing  and following after mere men instead of God directly, and with continual ungodliness and continuing in sin without continual repentance, it is not at all now possible even by grace to even stay as  a genuine believer! Next that is why as I have  have witnessed directly the last 5 decades too that at least 50 percent of once loudly professing Christians now they are no longer by their own personal choice too walking with God. A recent survey shows that 70 percent of evangelical pastors have admitted to adultery, and about 30 percent of evangelicals practice martial divorce that God hates as a direct result too. Their spiritual downfall is related that almost all of these people really do not know God, they have heard of him, but they are drastically failing to personally know him more everyday, especially  when 85 percent of professing Christians are playing religion only, for they do spend less than 5 minutes a day in God’s word, thus with God. When they all, even the pastors now should be with God in prayer  and in his word at least one hour a day.. yet these same people can find time for other bad things though. So God is not mocked what they sow they reap, and where they the sow nothing, they reap nothing.. For faith comes by hearing and hearing comes from abiding in God Word, the same Bible, word that will keep a believer in God’s will and will keep them next from sin. The unrepentant sins will keep a person next away from prayer, God and the Bible.. many professing Christians have clearly built their house on sinking sand instead of the solid rock Jesus thus. Be ye also doers of God’s words and not mere hearers.
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If you still do have a God shaped vacuum that is unfilled, then no other things, no relationships or careers, goals, next will satisfy you, not any personal, social, community relationships..
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Note this reality.. like it or not.. believe it or not..
Both fornicators and adulterers are excluded from Heaven. They are pursuing vanities as far as God is concerned..
 
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“Have you not known that the unrighteous the reign of God shall not inherit? Be not led astray; neither whoremongers, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, the reign of God shall inherit. And certain of you were these! But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were declared righteous, in the name of the Lord Jesus, and in the Spirit of our God” (1 Cor 6:9).
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(James 4:5 KJV)  Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy?
  
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(Eccl 7:17 KJV)  Be not over much wicked, neither be thou foolish: why shouldest thou die before thy time?
(Jer 5:4 KJV)  Therefore I said, Surely these are poor; they are foolish: for they know not the way of the LORD, nor the judgment of their God.
(Ezek 13:3 KJV)  Thus saith the Lord GOD; Woe unto the foolish prophets, that follow their own spirit, and have seen nothing!
(Gal 3:3 KJV)  Are ye so foolish? having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh?
(1 Tim 6:9 KJV)  But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition.
(Titus 3:3 KJV)  For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.
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We all do even  need to seriously know, differentiate between how God now deals with the wicked, those persons deliberately disobedient to him, he God does not go along with them for sure .. God’s grace of forgiveness even does not extend to everyone..
and next the righteous those people who put their trust in him.. God is merciful, kind to them, but not all professing Christians now are righteous for sure as well.
 
Every time you do openly speak or write a great truth, a valid complaint now too,  the devil next will try to use someone to try to discredit it and you and I do not have to accept it too. Verbal, emotional, physical, legal, Human rights  abuses are unacceptable for all.. Ironically some  of the biggest bullies I have encountered in Canada themselves had claimed to be good persons and that they themselves supposedly  were being bullied, abused by others .The issue of dealing effectively with the too many  false bullies on the web also now needs to be addressed..  I too do believe that we all have the right , in turns, to speak , to be heard as well, still when I see any person next resorting to merely personal attacks, name calling of others, such as  calling them ” Vile, Low Life, Criminal, Hoodlum,  Scum Bag , Crass Miscreant, Serial Online criminal, and disgusting Sociopath  ”  they should note that firstly themselves have lost it all already.. have lost both support and credibility now as well, for in fact they now are no better than the person they are supposedly complaining about. Even if they call themselves now professing Christians for Satan and his fallen angels also like to masquerade themselves as Angels of light. Messengers of the truth.. for  I do next also expose what they are like, really bad persons, to all..  I did not hesitate to expose now rightfully such person myself.. even if they were relatives of mine.. or fellow citizens.   By their own doings, fruit you still tell what a person now is like.. (Mat 7:2 KJV)  For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. 3  And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? 4  Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? 5  Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye. .
Verbal abuse is always unacceptable too. So are the Bullies now too
Many People usually accuse others of what they are guilty themselves, that is why they are so concious of it often..
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Desperate people try also to get personal about others when they cannot disprove the facts.. But still how ironic they are now even next condemned  by their own words, the beam in their  own eyes, and the distorted  accusations of others thus! People who ask others not to judge them ironically are often  judging the others  for supposedly judging the others.

God still does not overlook unrepentant sins.. so wake up.. especially the sins involving the abuse of others. The abusers now matter who they are seem to like to  give it to others but can’t take a rebuke themslves  ehh..  they need to Stop telling the  others what to do .. to live it themsrlves first .. for what you are speak louder than any of your words

when the Holy Spirit comes he will also reprove the world of sin, judgment, righteousness.. and not be an Ostrich to their  own sins, wrong doings

I do not think much of control freaks, bullies too and do   see also my many posts on how to deal with control freaks.. abusers..
  
for example

http://postedat.wordpress.com/2009/07/16/abused/

Merry Christmas

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(Isa 9:6 KJV)  For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. 7 Of the increase of his government and peace there shall be no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever.

Why the high divorce rates?

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In some parts of the country, cities the divorce rate is as high as 70 percent, and for those of you who wrongfully think it does not cause suffering, a lowering of one standard of living, serious health problems then do naively dream on.. take an ostrich approach.. but the alarm bells will keep you awake, sleepless at night too.. this now all sound extremist? but that is the reality.. People continue to do their own thing.. and I next still wonder why one of the most searched topic on my family site is how to deal with an abusive, or an alcoholic, or a control freak spouse.. an ounce of prevention is worth a ton of cure here too..  And why is there so many difficult maritial partners? http://postedat.wordpress.com/2010/09/26/marriage-problems-or-a-realtionship-problem/
 
Now I have been pastoring, even blogging on the net  since the advent of computers and I have written thousands of posts now too.. but what amazes me always still is that the most common  personal prayer requests is still firstly for a good soul mate – a great spouse, and next to get a good paying job followed by a prayer for healing from sickness.. and few people ask, pray what can I do for you Lord Jesus today? Why is that?  http://postedat.wordpress.com/2010/11/09/what-should-be-the-key-goal-in-ones-life-be/
 
Face it the single biggest cause of depression basically is your own doings and not just a bad marriage.. But don’t expect any marriage to make you happier over having a personal relationship with God still or the new or old marriage to be a false substitute for having a personal relationship with God. I have been recently counseling a person who desperately wants to be remarried, she has been twice married, but she is not interesting in following after God only after her own desires, lusts.. so no marriage for her will make her happy or replace God’s vacuum in her life still too. God has not promised you now even a right of remarriage.. but he promised you peace, joy and happiness and yes you can have that outside of marriage with Jesus..
Yes  the most common religious search question on the net on my site is not how can I serve now God better but rather can I marry a non Christian?  and people who are asking the question clearly do not read, they do not know their  Bible for the answer is always no! No you cannot marry a non Christian , nor can you have sex outside of valid marriage now as well, nor can Christians get divorced according to the Bible now too.. Like it or not that is still what God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the Bible say.
               
 spousal relationships is the most important aspect?
The supposedly Important MARRIAGE  Intimacies? SELF CENTERED GOALS?
–  a bond of Spiritual Intimacy… but the FIRST all important relationship is not that  between a husband and wife but that one with  God!  Too often God is neglected and why is that? No excuses here are acceptable.
– Emotional Intimacy… the “heart to heart” connection the intimate couple CRAVED BY EMOTIONAL WOMEN?  and certainly not by men, many men tend to lie to women to make them feel good here..
– Intellectual Intimacy… SEEMS TO BY PASS ANY NEED FOR  LOVE.. Though we allow one another to be unique,  is it important that we share common core values? A truly intimate couple will often even think the same thing? or be led by the same evil spirit? REAL LOVE ACCEPTS A PERSON THE WAY THEY ARE EVEN WITH THE DIFFERENCES.
– Sexual Intimacy or Sexual compatibilty  IS VERY IMPORTANT  too? God has designed a very special physical relationship that draws a husband and wife closer than ever? or a lust that causes them to be tempted by others?  Sexual! This seems to be the biggest goal of may persons sadly. Sex still does not make you happy like Jesus does. Many people who have sex are still unhapy with each other, life too.
 
Most marriages that fail still do fail not due to marital intimacy failures but firstly fail  due to laziness, unrealistic expectations, pursuing bad or false values, extreme goals, self centeredness and ADULTERY..
   
Personal relationship with others should be the key goal in one’s life   or is there other more important priorities, goals in life that should be personally  followed? 
 
Adultery is a sin God punishes..
  
(Psa 50:18 KJV)  When thou sawest a thief, then thou consentedst with him, and hast been partaker with adulterers.
 
(Jer 9:2 KJV)  Oh that I had in the wilderness a lodging place of wayfaring men; that I might leave my people, and go from them! for they be all adulterers, an assembly of treacherous men.
 
(Jer 23:10 KJV)  For the land is full of adulterers; for because of swearing the land mourneth; the pleasant places of the wilderness are dried up, and their course is evil, and their force is not right.
 
(Hosea 7:4 KJV)  They are all adulterers, as an oven heated by the baker, who ceaseth from raising after he hath kneaded the dough, until it be leavened.
 
(Mal 3:5 KJV)  And I will come near to you to judgment; and I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, and against the adulterers, and against false swearers, and against those that oppress the hireling in his wages, the widow, and the fatherless, and that turn aside the stranger from his right, and fear not me, saith the LORD of hosts.
 
(1 Cor 6:9 KJV)  Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
 
(Heb 13:4 KJV)  Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
 
(James 4:4 KJV)  Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
 
(Rev 3:12 KJV)  Him that overcometh will I make a pillar in the temple of my God, and he shall go no more out: and I will write upon him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, which is new Jerusalem, which cometh down out of heaven from my God: and I will write upon him my new name.
 
(Rev 14:7 KJV)  Saying with a loud voice, Fear God, and give glory to him; for the hour of his judgment is come: and worship him that made heaven, and earth, and the sea, and the fountains of waters.
 
(Rev 14:13 KJV)  And I heard a voice from heaven saying unto me, Write, Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth: Yea, saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them.
 
(Rev 18:4 KJV)  And I heard another voice from heaven, saying, Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues.
 
(Rev 18:5 KJV)  For her sins have reached unto heaven, and God hath remembered her iniquities.
 
(Rev 21:2 KJV)  And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.
 
(Rev 1:7 KJV)  Behold, he cometh with clouds; and every eye shall see him, and they also which pierced him: and all kindreds of the earth shall wail because of him. Even so, Amen.
 
(Rev 2:23 KJV)  And I will kill her children with death; and all the churches shall know that I am he which searcheth the reins and hearts: and I will give unto every one of you according to your works.
 
(Rev 3:5 KJV)  He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I will not blot out his name out of the book of life, but I will confess his name before my Father, and before his angels.
 
(Rev 3:10 KJV)  Because thou hast kept the word of my patience, I also will keep thee from the hour of temptation, which shall come upon all the world, to try them that dwell upon the earth.
 
(Rev 6:17 KJV)  For the great day of his wrath is come; and who shall be able to stand?
 
(Rev 14:10 KJV)  The same shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out without mixture into the cup of his indignation; and he shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb:
 
(Rev 15:4 KJV)  Who shall not fear thee, O Lord, and glorify thy name? for thou only art holy: for all nations shall come and worship before thee; for thy judgments are made manifest.
 
(Rev 18:7 KJV)  How much she hath glorified herself, and lived deliciously, so much torment and sorrow give her: for she saith in her heart, I sit a queen, and am no widow, and shall see no sorrow.
 
(Rev 18:8 KJV)  Therefore shall her plagues come in one day, death, and mourning, and famine; and she shall be utterly burned with fire: for strong is the Lord God who judgeth her.
 
(Rev 18:9 KJV)  And the kings of the earth, who have committed fornication and lived deliciously with her, shall bewail her, and lament for her, when they shall see the smoke of her burning,
 
(Rev 18:11 KJV)  And the merchants of the earth shall weep and mourn over her; for no man buyeth their merchandise any more:
 
(Rev 18:15 KJV)  The merchants of these things, which were made rich by her, shall stand afar off for the fear of her torment, weeping and wailing,
 
(Rev 18:23 KJV)  And the light of a candle shall shine no more at all in thee; and the voice of the bridegroom and of the bride shall be heard no more at all in thee: for thy merchants were the great men of the earth; for by thy sorceries were all nations deceived.
 
(Rev 20:10 KJV)  And the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night for ever and ever.
 
(Rev 21:3 KJV)  And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God.
 
(Rev 21:4 KJV)  And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
 
(Rev 21:7 KJV)  He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son.
 
(Rev 21:8 KJV)  But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
 
(Rev 21:27 KJV)  And there shall in no wise enter into it any thing that defileth, neither whatsoever worketh abomination, or maketh a lie: but they which are written in the Lamb’s book of life.
 
(Rev 22:3 KJV)  And there shall be no more curse: but the throne of God and of the Lamb shall be in it; and his servants shall serve him:
 
(Rev 22:4 KJV)  And they shall see his face; and his name shall be in their foreheads.
 
(Rev 22:5 KJV)  And there shall be no night there; and they need no candle, neither light of the sun; for the Lord God giveth them light: and they shall reign for ever and ever.
 
(Rev 22:12 KJV)  And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be.
 
(Rev 22:18 KJV)  For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:
 
(Rev 22:19 KJV)  And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.
 
                  
(2 Cor 6:14 KJV)  Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
 
(2 Cor 6:15 KJV)  And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
 
(2 Cor 6:16 KJV)  And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
 
(2 Cor 6:17 KJV)  Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,
 
(2 Cor 6:18 KJV)  And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
 
(2 Cor 7:1 KJV)  Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.
 
 
 
Generally these days it is the wife who wrongfully files for divorce,and  before that it used to be the men.  These days the too often dirty lawyers who make blood money from divorce, are wolves in sheep clothing now picturing them slves and  the spouse to the courts, as good persons, decent, honest, relaible, falsely claiming her now to be a totally good , honest person, and not another typical  liar too.
 
The lawyers who tend to be too often liars themselves they like to present the female spouse before the Queen’s courts, before the supposedly reputable judge, who in my witness, experiences actual too often is also now a liar, pretender himself, a person  who does not get off the bench cause he is too lazy to ascertain the truth of the facts being presented to him or her.
 
The lawyers like to present the wife as a decent, respected, good, moral person who now has provided faithfully  for her husband, she did not, does not abuse any them not even her bad  husband, she does not cheat, lie or steal now as well.
 
The still mostly  liars like to present her as an a good person, whereas more likely in reality  she also is another demon. In fact men and women tend to be equal sinners, before God and man. In fact the same spouse she likely has slandered, lied, committed adultery, even stole from her spouse and now she will keep on lying, perjuring herself hoping next to get a good alimony support from her spouse.
 
Many a person  when they see these people divorcing they really tend next not to recognize them and their behavior, for it clearly is different from what they had known before, were used too in fact.  
 
All of a sudden clearly new now  openly monsters here have arisen.  In reality  the wife is not the mostly   innocent, the sole injured party and the husband is not the sole bad guy, villain too.
 
All of these mostly immoral,  lying now people, pastors too often too, spouses, laywers, judges tend to first need decent, real, pastoral counseling themselves. http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2009/01/02/divorce-and-remarriage-in-the-christian-church/
 
  Christian Lies, Divorce And/or  Christian Divorce  Remarriage, (as well as adultery, fornication , Alcoholism, drugs, smoking, gays)  In the Christian Church are ALL still unacceptable. 
                     
 
  

there still can be a good life after divorce with God’s help…

>>My ex-husband smokes pot and drinks a lot, and I am told, so does his girlfriend. He once told me that I am too righteous because I don’t drink or do drugs, and I attend church.

that was a verbal abuse if I have ever seen one..

so do thank God daily that he has now removed your from this  abusive relationship..

and do ask Him, God  to take all the tears away and he will.

(Psa 4:8 KJV)  I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.

 
(Rev 21:4 KJV)  And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

there still can be a good life after divorce with God’s help…

 Isaiah 54:4-10  “Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. For your Maker is your husband – the LORD Almighty is his name – the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. The LORD will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit – a wife who married young, only to be rejected,” says your God. “For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back. In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you,” says the LORD your Redeemer. “To me this is like the days of Noah, when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth. So now I have sworn not to be angry with you, never to rebuke you again. Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

Truly any type of abuse is unacceptable and anywhere too

and exposing it loudly in public as well as calling the police is the best way to deal with it for everyone’s benefit, the abuser included.

God himself clearly does not accept verbal, physical, or human rights abuses

(Mat 18:6 KJV) But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

(Mat 18:7 KJV) Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!

(Mat 18:8 KJV) Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.

No we ALL cannot STOP, take the ostrich approach under the guise of love to the definite bad acts of others, we as Christians are still called to be fruit inspectors of those who profess to be Christians ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY RARELY QUOTE IT in actual context OR LIVE THE BIBLE THEY CLAIM THEY BELIEVE IN-

(Gen 31:42 KJV) Except the God of my father, the God of Abraham, and the fear of Isaac, had been with me, surely thou hadst sent me away now empty. God hath seen mine affliction and the labour of my hands, and rebuked thee yesternight.

(Lev 19:17 KJV) Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him.

(Neh 5:7 KJV) Then I consulted with myself, and I rebuked the nobles, and the rulers, and said unto them, Ye exact usury, every one of his brother. And I set a great assembly against them.

(Psa 119:21 KJV) Thou hast rebuked the proud that are cursed, which do err from thy commandments.

(Prov 24:25 KJV) But to them that rebuke him shall be delight, and a good blessing shall come upon them.

(Prov 27:5 KJV) Open rebuke is better than secret love.

(Eccl 7:5 KJV) It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise, than for a man to hear the song of fools.

(Mat 17:18 KJV) And Jesus rebuked the devil; and he departed out of him: and the child was cured from that very hour.

(Mark 1:25 KJV) And Jesus rebuked him, saying, Hold thy peace, and come out of him.

(Mark 4:39 KJV) And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.

(Mark 8:33 KJV) But when he had turned about and looked on his disciples, he rebuked Peter, saying, Get thee behind me, Satan: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men.

(1 Tim 5:20 KJV) Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.

(2 Tim 4:2 KJV) Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.

(Titus 1:13 KJV) This witness is true. Wherefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith;

(Titus 2:15 KJV) These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee.

(Heb 12:5 KJV) And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:

(Rev 3:19 KJV) As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.

Verbal abuse is always unacceptable too. So are the Bullies now too.

Verbal abuse is always unacceptable too. So are the Bullies now    Even for Christians! verbal abuse by pastorS NOW ESPECIALLY TOO.

“This is from the book by Patricia Evans http://andthenshecried.wordpress.com/2008/02/05/the-verbally-abusive-relationship-how-to-recognize-it-and-how-to-respond

Verbal abuse is a kind of battering which doesn’t leave evidence like physical abuse does. However, it can be just as painful, and recovery can take much longer. The victim of abuse lives in a gradually more confusing realm. In public she is with one man, in private he becomes another. Often, for the verbally abused woman (man), there is no witness to her reality and no one to understand her experiences. Friends and family continue to see her ex, the abuser, as a really good guy and, certainly, he agrees with them. The verbal abuser, while maintaining his charm with others, always takes his abuse behind closed doors. It is a means of holding power over his wife( husband) /partner.. Many women and some men leave a marriage and come back into the singles’ world with the diminished self-esteem that comes from a verbally abusive relationship. The fact that many of these women (men) have never even realized that they were being abused, makes it easy for them to enter another abusive relationship. A verbal abuser is an insecure person and immature person who is looking for power and control over another.In order to help you recognize abuse, remember that all forms of verbal abuse are methods of manipulating you for the purpose of establishing power over you. The following are some of the forms of verbal abuse the author helps you recognize.

  1. Withholding: a purposeful, silent treatment.
  2. Countering: a countering of your ideas, feelings, and perceptions, even going so far as to refute what he misconstrues you to have said.
  3. Discounting–a putdown of you or something you hold dear.
  4. Blocking and diverting–this is a sneaky, covert way of violating your dignity.
  5. Accusation and blame: generally involves lies about the partner’s intentions, attitudes, and motives. The author states that accusation and blame is present in all verbally abusive relationships.
  6. Judging and criticizing: lies about your personal qualities and performance.
  7. Trivializing and undermining: abusive behavior which makes light of your work, your efforts, your interests, or your concerns. The abuser attempts to dilute meaning and value in your life. Undermining might occur when your partner laughs at you, for example, when you burn yourself cooking. It is also jokes at your expense. Undermining is occurring when you feel a “so-called joke” is mean rather than funny.
  8. Name calling: no one has a right to call you degrading names. Name calling is verbal abuse.
  9. Ordering: Telling you to do something, rather than asking, or making decisions for you or for the two of you without your input.
  10. Forgetting and denial: the trickiest form of denial is forgetting. Become aware that forgetting is a form of denial that shifts all responsibility from the abuser to some “weakness of mind.”
  11. Abusive anger: this seems to be closely linked to the need to “blow up,” to dominate, to control, to go one up, and to put down. Any time you are snapped at or yelled at, you are being abused.
  12. Threatening: Physical threats and sexual threats aside, verbal threats are an effort at manipulation. For example, a threat to leave, stay out all night, or take you home immediately is a manipulation for power. The threat of “pending disaster” is designed to shatter the partner’s serenity as well as her boundaries.
  13. If you counter the abuser or attempt to explain yourself, you will probably be met with such statements as, “I don’t want to hear it, get out of my face” or “Woman you don’t have the brains“, “BYou shouldn’t have said that to me“.

    f you are in a brand-new relationship and see warning signs of verbal abuse, the author suggests you might be wise to let the relationship go. It is not likely that a man (woman) who needs to dominate and control will change easily, if at all. It is also likely that when the newness of the relationship wears off, he will become more abusive. Verbal abuse can become physical in time and physical abuse is always preceded by verbal abuse, according to Evans.If you are in a long-term relationship, you can respond to the abuser as the book suggests and soon discover for yourself whether or not your mate is willing to change and stop his abusive behavior.

    “If you have been verbally abused in your relationship, you may have discovered that explaining and trying to understand have not improved your relationship. Therefore, I recommend that you respond in a new way–a way that will make an emotional, psychological, and intellectual impact upon your mate.”

    The abuser in your relationship may change when he finds that you do know when you are being abused, that you have set limits, that you mean what you say, and that you will not take behavior you don’t like. 

    If the man ( or sadly too often now a women) in your relationship remains abusive, it is not only not your fault,” but it is  your responsibility to deal with it, make it public, call the police too.

    Any person cannot still fight with you of you leave his or her presences, even forever.. and there is still a good life after a failed marriage now too. I practise what I preach and often now too.

     SEE ALSO https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/07/17/the-too-common-abusive-silent-treatment/

    Hey if you read my many non conforming posts you will note that I definitely, and loudly, rightfully still  do not conform to the false or immoral demands of others..
     
    I was really now fortunate I had great teachers here in Canada, in my public school, in high School and in University in Montreal Quebec, and all of them now   had treated me as a real person, respected me, and allowed me to speak. and to be heard as well.
      
    Not one of them no one told me what I can talk about write about or what I cannot as well. At work as a Professional Engineer, or as a Professional Realtor with Re/Max I was allowed continually as a responsible, a mature adult to make my own decisions,  and top also carry out my responsibilities in the manner   I chose to do them as well.
     
    So I have to admit it came to me as a shock firstly when I started to attend evangelical, Baptist Pentecostal churches in Canada now as an adult that that same right  to be respect, top speak, and to be heard, not to be bullied, falsely oppressed. Legal and Human rights that  I had before, often now did not exist in the churches surprisingly now of all places. Never saw so many control freaks, human rights abusers  in my whole life next to the too often bad cops now too.  And perversely many a despotic, crooked elder, pastor had wrongfully tried to shut me up, and even next had resorted next to slander me, to try to discredit me and what I had said,  or whatever,  now even both in Quebec and in Alberta.
     
    But like I have often said elsewhere the Evangelical church was not the only place where they tried to deny me my right to speak and to be heard now, for too often too and unacceptable the Alberta bullies, rednecks now  on the net had wrongfully tried often and falsely to suppress my right of free speech, but next so did not too many a Politician, particularly,  ironically again both the professing Christian ones, and the definitely alcoholic ones now too.. what they were falsely deluded that only politicians had the right of free speech and the right to be heard it seems too .
     
    Next too many bad police officers as well did not like me openly, publically complaining about the too often bad cops, bad RCMP had encountered in Alberta, Quebec, and not just the too many bad pastors, elders too, and in other provinces as well.. and what these bad  cops, bad watchdogs,  forget they are here to serve the good welfare of the citizens? for  they are not our despotic slave drivers.. nor are their bosses for that matter now too.
     
    Now what bothered them all now so much that they had tried to shut me up? my transparency, honesty, or it seems the mere exercise of  case of my rights . For in reality it seems at least 10 percent of the persons even on the net seem to be control freaks, bullies, human rights abusers.
     
    I often read complaints on the net from  some child complaining  that that one of their parents is verbally abusing them, or even a spouse complain that  their spouse is abusing them.  I have heard people tell me how pastors had abused them as well. Children and spouses sometimes are forced to put up with it?? But not me, for I am not a child, rather a matured adult, a retired senior in fact. And I can clearly, rightfully speak for myself and talk on any topic now as I so desire as well as we all can readily see and I do so now too. And for the good of us all now too.
     
     
    Beware always of men and women, bullies, tormentors, control freaks,  persons, civil and public servants,  politicians, pastors, leaders, elders, who falsely do, will try to enslave you, oppress you, exploit you even while they claim they are proclaiming the truth, democracy, trying to help you, etc.,
     
    Is 51:23 ..your tormentors {and} oppressors, those who said to you, Bow down, that we may ride {or} tread over you; and you have made your back like the ground and like the street for them to pass over.
     
     
     
    In generally in the more   liberal society of Canada both the wife and the children tend to have much more freedom, rights, make their own decisions,  over many other countries and as a result the culture shock is a very real problem for some new immigrant spouses where the husband was used to being obeyed, and being the sole head of the home  thus  it’s not altogether uncommon for some of the new immigrant  home situations to become  unacceptably violent.
     
    Here also is what I know for sure, the older the person is the more extreme, more severe, the more difficult the punishment has  to be on them to cause them to personally to change in their own  negative ways, for they are too set in them now too.
      
     
     
     

Perhaps the best thing for preserving marriages is..

 

The most common complaint that I have heard in my lifetime from men, from about 60 percent of them, was I have only one major problem in my life and it is my wife.. and who had made him marry her in the first place?

Perhaps the best thing for preserving Christian marriages is their frequent church attendance, both of them, plus daily practising being a real Christian..
 
 Ever notice how few church people next do   go to the Sunday night services, or especially the Wednesday night prayer meetings now too? and why is that?
  

 
“here are the divorce rates among ever-married respondents in the General Social Survey (GSS, 2000-2004)—one of the best known sources of sociological data.
 
“Frequent” is attending church about once a week or more. http://brewright.blogspot.com/2006/12/christian-divorce-rates.html58%, non-frequent Black Protestants
54%, non-frequent Evangelicals
51%, no religion (e.g., atheists & agnostics)

48%, ALL NON-CHRISTIANS
48%, non-frequent, other religions
47%, frequent Black Protestants
42%, non-frequent, mainline Protestants
41%, ALL CHRISTIANS
41%, non-frequent Catholics
39%, Jews
38%, frequent other religions
34%, frequent Evangelicals
32%, ALL FREQUENT CHRISTIANS
32%, frequent mainline Protestants
23%, frequent Catholics

 

 

 

 

I also analyzed data from previous years of the GSS and from five other national surveys, and they showed the same pattern: Christians, especially those who frequently attend church, have relatively low divorce rates.”
  
 My real experiences is that I have been too often sexually propositioned , and so have many other pastors too,  in even the evangelical churches now too.
 
There is a demonic myth being spread today amongst the churches too that a 30 percent divorce rate amongst frequent Church attendees is acceptable.. but not in God’s eyes, for God says he hates Divorce!!! No divorce is acceptable  for HIM! Divorce , adultery are just as sinful, unacceptable  as prostitution,  pornography, lust, drunkness, cheating, lying, stealing  too.
 
(Mal 2:16 KJV)  For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
 
(Mal 2:17 KJV)  Ye have wearied the LORD with your words. Yet ye say, Wherein have we wearied him? When ye say, Every one that doeth evil is good in the sight of the LORD, and he delighteth in them; or, Where is the God of judgment?
 

Many people are really astounded for the false reasons for the much too many divorces in America these days, even in the Christian Churches.

 

 

Focusing on the Family

    
(Exo 20:12 KJV)  Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

 
Focus on the Family SUPPOSEDLY  provides timely, relevant, godly information  information and advice on marriage, parenting, faith, entertainment, life challenges and social issues.. and it has been my own often real  experienced that most people who mainly focused on their own family were  persons who  cast out too often their own inlaws, because  they  still were mostly discriminatory, guilty of false partialities, unloving, unkind, unfriendly and ungodly persons. Ironically they tend to divorce, separate from most other persons not in their own family and they next tend to reap what they sowed and become martially divorced themselves too.
 
A clan is a group of people united by kinship and descent, which is defined by perceived descent from a common ancestor.
 
(Mat 19:5 KJV)  And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.  7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
  
(Prov 21:9 KJV),  (Prov 25:24 KJV)  It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.
 
And lately it’s occured to me again that too often the members of the clan Family DO share some things in common such as even sinful, really “Bad Family Values”, false pride, passed on from one generation to the other too. One can also see “The Influence of Human Relationships on Heart Disease,”
 
 
 (Deu 13:6 KJV)  If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers; 7 Namely, of the gods of the people which are round about you, nigh unto thee, or far off from thee, from the one end of the earth even unto the other end of the earth; 8  Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him: 9  But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people.10 And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die; because he hath sought to thrust thee away from the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage. 11   And all Israel shall hear, and fear, and shall do no more any such wickedness as this is among you.
  
(Mat 10:34 KJV)  Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
 

 

(Mat 12:50 KJV)  For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.
 
Mark 3:35 KJV)  For whosoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother, and my sister, and mother.
 
Ironically many of these same people tend to be STILL HYPOCRTICAL, pretentious, in that they are kind to their relatives, brothers and sisters generally only on holidays, birthdays and they tend to abuse, neglect them the rest of the year.
 
(Rom 2:18 KJV)  And knowest his will, and approvest the things that are more excellent, being instructed out of the law;
 
(Rom 2:19 KJV)  And art confident that thou thyself art a guide of the blind, a light of them which are in darkness,
 
(Rom 2:20 KJV)  An instructor of the foolish, a teacher of babes, which hast the form of knowledge and of the truth in the law.
 
(Rom 2:21 KJV)  Thou therefore which teachest another, teachest thou not thyself? thou that preachest a man should not steal, dost thou steal?
 
(Rom 2:22 KJV)  Thou that sayest a man should not commit adultery, dost thou commit adultery? thou that abhorrest idols, dost thou commit sacrilege?
 
(Rom 2:23 KJV)  Thou that makest thy boast of the law, through breaking the law dishonourest thou God?
 
(Acts 10:34 KJV)  Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons:
 
(Gal 3:28 KJV)  There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
 
(Rom 2:9 KJV)  Tribulation and anguish, upon every soul of man that doeth evil, of the Jew first, and also of the Gentile; 10 But glory, honour, and peace, to every man that worketh good, to the Jew first, and also to the Gentile: (Rom 2:11 KJV)  For there is no respect of persons with God.
 
(Gal 3:27 KJV)  For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ. 28  There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
 
(1 Cor 15:50 KJV)  Now this I say, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; neither doth corruption inherit incorruption.
  

Here is another simple rule. You have to ask to be forgiven too before you can be forgiven

and you still also do have to accept the forgiveness