(Mat 10:37 KJV) He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. 39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.
Many professing Christian persons see themselves as teachers, facilitators, coordinators, leaders, when in fact they are still just dictators, bullies, some even immoral agressive jungle fighters, control freaks who need to repent.. http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/07/07/control-freaks/
>>”I am an expert on being hated by others, my family now too, was hated by everyone in my family for decades too”..
Often it is the Joseph syndrome, who was hated by his own brothers, it is a false control, a false power play, a controlling spirit. The Best way to deal with abuse is to shout rape in public at the top of your vice, call the police, tell others about it.. post it on the net.. that is what I do continually too… cause it works!
It has been amazing to me that, as I look back into my own life, half of the oppressions I have witnessed in my life, and any oppression all of it tends to be an unacceptable human rights abuse now too, all oppressions are still unacceptable , these oppressions now came from the least expected places, from the Bullies within the church , even from bad pastors, bad elders, bad deacons, and also within my related control freaked or despotic family members, all now proving to me that many of these professing Christians persons were still not real Christians in fact. The other half of the oppressions, and all of it too was unacceptable, came from fellow employees, bad contacts, acquaintances, neighbour, civil and public servants, cops, RCMP.
http://postedat.wordpress.com/2010/12/03/oppressors-or-bullies-are-always-unacceptable/
Most people are still selfish persons, do show a false partiality, and they tend to only love the people who give money and gifts to them and hate the poor person who does not do this. Those who do not give into their baskets they falsely declare war on them, bad pastors, church elders now included.. THEY TEND TO SEE PEOPLE AS MERELY SELF GRATIFYING OBJECTS, OR WHAT IS IN THE RELATIONSHIP FOR ME.. THEY LIVE IN A KINGDOM OF SELF. http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2009/01/02/divorce-and-remarriage-in-the-christian-church/
Often when I encounter controlling spirits I merely bind in Jesus name and dissolve now any and all false, demonic oppositions, slanders, lies, and command now they be no effect in Jesus name on you or me. http://www.porn-free.org/prayers_binding.htm
http://wittnessed.wordpress.com/2010/11/20/the-need-for-binding-and-loosening-related-to-satan-his-evil-spirits/
Sibling rivalry, is related to the control freak person, and is the cause of majority of interpersonal problems too.. war is the jealousy, competition and fighting between the unloving and/or unloved brothers and sisters firstly. It is a concern for almost all parents of two or more kids. Problems often start right after the birth of the second child. Sibling rivalry usually continues throughout childhood and even adulthood, it can be very embarrassing, frustrating and stressful to parents. There some things parents can do to help their young kids get along better and work through conflicts in positive ways and help you keep the peace at your house.
Sibling rivalry, war is as old as the children of Adam and Eve and is too often recorded now as a sin in the Bible as well that has negative consequences on the persons involved and even others.
The real sad part is that many adults play also this false game still too.. Conquer and destroy!
Sibling rivalry can also be caused by proximity in age. Research suggests that siblings that are within two years’ age of one another tend to have more sibling rivalry than other siblings. Ultimately, sibling rivalry is often caused not only by by blocked goals but by poor personal communication skills, bad or extreme values, just like almost any other sorts of adult conflicts and wars
There are many factors that contribute to sibling rivalry:
-Past and present neglect of the siblings by the parents will top it all.. there are overarching sorts of factors and events that can be, ultimately, the root causes of any sibling rivalry. Knowing what these important factors and events are can help you to not only understand the causes of sibling rivalry, but to deal with sibling rivalry more effectively when it does occur. Some of the most common causes of sibling rivalry tends to be jealousy or selfishness.
-Each child, person is mostly competing to define who they are as an individual. As they discover who they are, they try to find their own talents, activities, and interests. They want to show that they are separate from their siblings.
-Rejected Children, Adults too feel they are getting unequal amounts of your attention, discipline, and responsiveness.
-Children often may feel their relationship with their parents is threatened by the arrival of a new baby.
-A children’s and an Adult’s developmental stages affect how well they can share your attention and get along with one another.
-Children and adults who are hungry, bored or tired, nervous, stressed out are more likely to start fights.
– Too many Children, adults too do not know positive ways to get attention from their brother or sister, so they pick fights.
– Family dynamics play a serious role here as well when one of the parent neglect one of their children, or shows a false favoring, partiality,. We are reminded this happened in the biblical account of Joseph and his brothers due to his new coat of many colors,
– Children, adults will fight more with each other in families where there is no set bounders, understanding that their fighting is not an acceptable way to resolve conflicts.
– All Families that don’t share enjoyable times together will probably have more family conflict next exasperated by a jealous immoral, insecure, poor self esteem spouse(s) of the siblings now too
– Unresolved Stress, poor health in the parent’s lives will often decrease the amount of still need attention parents give the children and thus increase the sibling rivalry.
– Stress in the children’s lives will next shorten their fuses, and create more conflict, cause significant home, community and even health problems as well
So how the good and bad parents do now still treat their kids, children and how they do now react to conflict will make a big difference in how well siblings get along.
The degree of existence of sibling rivalry, young offenders, gangs tends to show how good of a parent, manager, administrator now you really were, are.
“as many as 53 out of every 100 children abuse a brother or sister, higher than the percentage of adults who abuse their children or their spouse. What some kids do to their brother or sister inside the family would be called assault outside the family. As parents, we may be tempted to ignore fighting and quarrelling between children. We may view these activities as a normal part of growing up. We say, “Kids will be kids” or “They’ll grow out of it.” However, thousands of adult survivors of sibling abuse tell of the far-reaching negative effects that such unchecked behavior has had on them as children and adults. Children often abuse a brother or sister, usually younger than themselves, to gain power and control. One explanation for this is that the abusive child (generally with a poor self esteem) feels powerless, neglected and insecure. He or she may feel strong only in relation to a sibling being powerless. The feeling of power children experience when they mistreat a brother or sister often reinforces their decision to repeat the abuse ” http://www.sasian.org/papers/rivabuse.htm
Why do we hear of the Russian Mafia, and the Asian Gangs now more increasing, because their parents have neglected them while they were busy trying to get rich, richer.
(James 4:1 KJV) From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?
2 Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.
3 Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.
4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
5 Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy?
6 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.
7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
9 Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness.
10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.
11 Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.
12 There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?
13 Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain:
14 Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.
15 For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.
16 But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil.
17 Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.
5:1 Go to now, ye rich men, weep and howl for your miseries that shall come upon you.
2 Your riches are corrupted, and your garments are motheaten.
3 Your gold and silver is cankered; and the rust of them shall be a witness against you, and shall eat your flesh as it were fire. Ye have heaped treasure together for the last days.
(Prov 22:6 KJV) Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.- Train your children firstly in the right way.. neglect any of them and everyone next will pay the negative price..
– Tell them that being self centered, selfish, concerned only about their own needs, desires is still an unacceptable sin, negative approach.
– Don’t play favorites or refuse to forgive, do not take sides as well. Your children need to learn that you will do your best to meet each of their unique needs.
– Never compare your children.
– Don’t typecast. Let each child be who they are. Don’t try to pigeonhole or label them
– Set your kids up to cooperate rather than compete.
– Teach your kids positive ways to get attention from each other.
– Don’t yell or lecture. It really won’t help at all..
– Listen—really listen—to how your children feel about what’s going on in the family. and next also act upon it positively. They seek the parent’s help first often, They may not be so demanding if they know you at least care how they feel. “When parents falsely unwisely crash, jump into sibling spats, they often protect one child (usually the younger sibling) against the other (usually the older one). This escalates the conflict, because the older child resents the younger, and the younger feels that they can get away with more since the parent is “on their side.” ”
– Celebrate your children’s differences, positive aspects and not mainly their negatives.
– Let each child know they are still unique and special— accept them, you love and care for them, just for whom they are.
– Encourage win-win negotiations, where each side gains something.
– If you are constantly angry at your kids, no wonder they are angry at each other! Anger feeds on itself. Learn to manage your anger, so you can teach your children how to manage theirs.
– learn, Teach conflict resolution skills during calm times.
– Personally Model good conflict resolution skills for your kids.
– Try to Involve your children in setting ground rules.
– Enforced Ground rules, with clear and consistent consequences for breaking them, can help prevent many squabbles.
Summary
(Psalm 133:1 KJV) Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!
Sibling rivalry is a type of competition or animosity among brothers and sisters, blood-related or not.. the sibling bond is often complicated and is influenced by factors such as parental treatment, birth order, personality, and people and experiences outside the family. Sibling rivalry is particularly intense when children are very close in age and of the same gender, or where one child is intellectually gifted, or one child has received or attains a bigger inheritance, earning, position, status in life. Adolescents fight for the same reasons younger children fight, Fighting with siblings as a way to get attention, power may increase in adolescence. Events even such as a strained marriage may drive them seriously apart. Sibling Rivalry in the Bible – sample cases: Cain and Abel, Esau and Jacob, and Joseph and his brothers., Leah and Rachel, and today’s counterpart is the conflicts between the Arabs and the Jews, gangs, Mafia
(Prov 15:1 KJV) A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
Siblings often do fight for a number of reasons.
-They fight because they want a parent’s or other person’s attention, especially where the parent has only so much time, attention and patience to give.
-They fight because they are selfish, jealous: “He got a new bike. I didn’t. They must love him more than they love me.”
-They even fight over ordinary teasing which is a way of testing the effects of behavior and words on another person: “He called me…” “But she called me…first.”
-They fight because they are growing up in a competitive, aggressive, self centered, worldly, dog eat dog, society that falsely teaches them that to get it, to win is to be better than to be the loser. “I saw it first.” “I beat you to the water.”
Lessons about jealousy, competition, sharing and kindness are difficult to learn, and, indeed, even many adults still still haven’t learned them. Too many adolescent may not recognize, admit still their needs or may be too embarrassed to express them verbally, so their ongoing fighting with siblingsis a way to get their need personal attention which often next actually increase in adolescence life.
A Parent’s Checklist
As a parent, do you:
-Set aside some time to be alone with each child?
-Recognize that each child is different?
-Make sure your adolescents realize they are each unique and have a special set of strengths?
-Praise adolescents for being who they are and not just for what they can do?
-Avoid initiating competition among children?
-Realize adolescents and younger children need to be given the right also to decide not to share at least some of the time?
-Be sure older children are not usually forced to give in to younger ones because “he’s little” or “she doesn’t know better?”
-Talk positively to the adolescents about their fighting?
-Falsely encourage, promote the sibling fighting?
https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/12/28/young-offenders-sibling-rivalry-war/
How to deal with the Negative circumstances in your life..
(2 Cor 1:2 KJV) Grace be to you and peace from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ. 3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; 4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. 5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.
How to deal with the Negative circumstances in your life.. and sooner or later we all have them.
1: Be open, honest. Don’t despair, ask For God’s help, wisdom to deal with it too, and have a positive, flexible attitude, make do with what you have in the best way you can.. accept your cirumstances as much as possible and live with it! (James 1:5 KJV) If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
2: You have to also now realize that finally the Battle is the Lord’s, God’s, he has to deal with it.. (Rom 8:28 KJV) And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
I can honestly say that the worse things that had happened to me in the last 50 years too had turned out to be the best things next for me.. and we know that all things work for the good for those who love God..
(Rev 12:12 KJV) Therefore rejoice, ye heavens, and ye that dwell in them. Woe to the inhabiters of the earth and of the sea! for the devil is come down unto you, having great wrath, because he knoweth that he hath but a short time.
Bad things happen to all of us because of the past sin related curse of the devil’s own rebellion, and because of our grandparents, Adam and Eve sins, as God had promised they would next happen and they do .. and most bad things are helped along by the devil and his followers too.. if we are doing things our own way, according to our own gospel, our own understanding we now also cannot even resist even the devil.. But there is a solution here too
(Mark 7:29 KJV) the devil is gone out of thy daughter.
I can say for certainly that the many bad things that happened in my life reduced when I became a bond slave, servant of Jesus Christ, I dispel many of them away now too in the name and the authority of of Jesus .. and those bad things still hat happen happened for God’s glory still next.. and for my good..
Gen 31:7 But your father has deceived me and changed my wages ten times, but God did not allow him to hurt me.In my life I have also no faced death often, and serious illnesses more than once….
Basically even initially when my children were born and they were all next facing serious sickness.. My wife, and I and our church prayed seriously for them.. and when I was next myself also became seriously ill too.. and I can assure you that in desperation I prayed seriously as well..
AND I HAVE OFTEN PRAYED FOR OTHER SICK PERSONS NOW TOO.
Me I tell it like it is.. never mind the lies, distortions, insanity games many people play..
What initially ALSO appeared as the most tragic demonic events in my own life next, they had turned out to be the most blessed event, even prolonging my life.
Imagine that I as an adult in Calgary Alberta was firstly fired from my job because I had refused to cheat, lie, steal on behalf of my really bad employer, firm. Next my sadly unfaithful wife filed for divorce, and she even stole all of my personal belongings and my 3 children too, even our house next went into foreclosure and was taken over by the bank, so what can happen worse than that?
Well next the pastor of the local Evangelical church tried to kick me out of the local church cause I could not longer give money to him, and he for sure falsely was not willing to give in return.. So what next?
Well for 2 years the lying, pretending local bad medical doctors, hospital they could find anything wrong physically, medically with me too.. even though I knew for sure there was something wrong with me.. I had serious pains.. You see I was working and living in Calgary Alberta in 1982 and for 2 years I had gone to various doctors, I had undergone various medical tests and the doctors said they could find nothing wrong with me specifically, rather it appears they must have known the truth but refused to do anything, for the Alberta government has a policy that they give medical services priority mainly to people born in Alberta.
Had my wife not filed for divorce for sure I would have had been dead next there, and when she filed for divorce, we lost our home as the lawyers had seized it for their future payments, so next I had no choice but to eventually go back to Montreal to firstly get medical help cause I was in continually stomach pains. By the blood pressure alone the doctor should have know how seriously I was sick, 165/145.. my wife being a nurse she knew right away.. God even told me I was seriously ill.. and he had refused to allow me to work hard.
So I next moved back to my home town, Montreal to another province, Quebec. Shortly the doctors there confirmed the fact that I need quintuplet heart by pass surgery, and they also next installed a pacer, and a defliberator as well.. thus prolonging my life much longer than had I strayed in Calgary Alberta. When I got to Montréal and visited the McGill Hospital, the doctors here said I was ok originally, amused me and put me into a bed for 4 weeks and conducted no medical tests at all.. next finally they decided to discharge me, but someone had to sign off on me and they decided to do one test, the echo gram, the technician doing the test next she start to cry, and I asked her why she was crying, she replied that I was too young to have such a serious heart problem, 1/3 of my heart was dead. The next day the doctor said the McGill Hospital came and told me that there was nothing they could do for me, I would have to go home and get ready to die. But right then at the same time I heard Jesus say “do not worry Paul, it will all turn out all right”.. so next day the 2 doctors came back and and said they will give me a heart surgery tomorrow, a quintuplet heart by pass.
After the heart surgery I was totally normal for 2 weeks but then it seemed to have been inadequate.. the surgery was only partially successful. I was able to walk but I had difficulties in any serious exercise, physical activity.
God told me next he took my wife away cause it was her bad cooking that was killing me, something the dieticians confirmed next too. He God had now freed me to work on the internet, I have been on the internet actually since computers had first started in the 80’s both as a political lobbyist on behalf of all Canadians, as a Christian pastor promoting God’s truth.
I had now also wanted to return to Alberta, because I loved the weather and scenery there,so as I prayed as to why I could not go back there. God told me I he had provided everything I needed in the city of LaSalle Montreal where I was I was even for my medical care. I shortly had a vision. It was a view of Montreal from above, but on the south side of the Montréal, across the river instead was a huge European looking city. I was told I could not cross the south river, and I saw from the air above the Montreal General Hospital and I was told I would have to go there next. That week my main doctor called and said I would have to go to the hospital to have a defliberator installed for I have a tendency to die in my sleep. So they implanted the medical device and next it significantly improved my breathing.
I was now also basically limited to biking, since walking any long distance was too difficult for me but eventually next even Biking that was too hard for me, I could not make it up the hill. So in desperation I prayed and told God that. Just after I had prayed the phone rang and a fellow said he had acquired an electric bike he would like to sell me. I bought it, and it really solved my biking need. I loved it. I could travel at 30 mph and do about 60 miles before I recharge it, bout twice a week.
Meanwhile I continue on the net daily for hours, generally my mornings at least, writing my messages, replying to letters. I have been happy, fulfilled with God the last 15 years too. I have been very visibly active on the net as a Christian, even daily writing Bible devotionals to many pastors, college students too. Gladly here doing the work of the Lord. Although I liked being a pastor of a home church better in Calgary, I loved the daily home , hospital and political visitations too. So as you see there are no complaints here. God let me serve him more next instead of having me die. God had said to me also he had let me live cause I had served him..
Is 61:1 THE SPIRIT of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed {and} qualified me to preach the Gospel {of} good tidings to the meek, the poor, {and} afflicted; He has sent me to bind up {and} heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the [physical and spiritual] captives and the opening of the prison {and} of the eyes to those who are bound, Is 61:2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord [the year of His favor] and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, Is 61:3 To grant [consolation and joy] to those who mourn in Zion–to give them an ornament (a garland or diadem) of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment [expressive] of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, {and} failing spirit–that they may be called oaks of righteousness [lofty, strong, and magnificent, distinguished for uprightness, justice, and right standing with God], the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified. Is 61:4 And they shall rebuild the ancient ruins; they shall raise up the former desolations and renew the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations.
Is 61:10 I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul will exult in my God; for He has clothed me with the garments of salvation, He has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself with a garland, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. 11 For as [surely as] the earth brings forth its shoots, and as a garden causes what is sown in it to spring forth, so [surely] the Lord God will cause rightness {and} justice and praise to spring forth before all the nations [through the self-fulfilling power of His word].
Is 62:11 Behold, the Lord has proclaimed to the end of the earth: Say to the Daughter of Zion, Behold, your salvation comes [in the person of the Lord]; behold, His reward is with Him, and His work {and} recompense before Him. Is 62:12 And they shall call them the Holy People, the Redeemed of the Lord; and you shall be called Sought Out, a City Not Forsaken.God through Jesus Christ has promised to deliver us from all of sickness, sadness, sorrows, troubles even today, and we can stand on many such promises in his Word, the Bible. There is no pit that you fall into that is so deep that Jesus now next cannot still help you out off.We may not always understand why things happen but there are some things we can count on:
1). Christ will be there in the storms for those that have placed their trust in Him. Several episodes from Jesus life point to this fact and none stand out more then when the disciples and Jesus were in a boat on the Sea of Galilee and a storm over takes them. Jesus was there and He did not “poof” at the first sign of trouble. Sometimes Jesus will calm the storm in our life but other times He will not. But He will always be there.
2). Bad things happen to good people, bad things happen to bad people. Bad things happen. The causation of the tragedy may differ but the result is the same. Whether by a poor decision on your part, a poor decision by somebody else part really matters not. Just as with death and taxes, tragedy is almost guaranteed for us all.
3). Bad things happen to good people, in my own honest opinion, sometimes to show that God’s faithfulness and a person’s faithfulness to God. How a christian responds to a tragedy speaks more about what they believe than when there are times of joy and prosperity. The world watches how a christian responds to adversity to see if God really does make a difference.
4). One thing we tend to forget is that God’s initial intention was never for things to be the way they are. His initial purpose was for there to be a intimate fellowship between Him and His creation. However the everything was corrupted with the fall of Adam and Eve into sin. The corruption not only affected the relationship between God and man but also affect our world. Death, suffering, sickness, and despair are all a result of the fall of man into sin.
I too have gone through some things I never thought I would have to face. Did I question? Yes. Did I wish it never happened? Of course. Did I doubt? To be perfectly honest I did. But you know God is bigger than my doubts and questions. His shoulders are big enough to carry me when I do not understand . God used a particular painful part of my life to teach me more about Him.
As I was enduring this painful time three questions always seemed to arise.
1). What did I believe about God?
2). Why did I believe it? and
3) Do I trust His promises?
To sum it up let me quote Theodore Roosevelt “The way we endure what we must endure is more important the the trial itself”” it seems..
As Joseph found out firsthand many times too, Our dreams seem to die, but God has a way of keeping them alive.. (Gen 37:5 KJV) And Joseph dreamed a dream, and he told it his brethren: and they hated him yet the more. (Gen 37:28 KJV) Then there passed by Midianites merchantmen; and they drew and lifted up Joseph out of the pit, and sold Joseph to the Ishmeelites for twenty pieces of silver: and they brought Joseph into Egypt.
Many professing Christian persons still do have concerns such as “Teach me how to pray for healing?” or ” I Prayed for healing but nothing happened yet?”
It is firstly important to remember that the right of praying for healing in Jesus name by faith in God’s word, his written promise to us is the Children’s bread only, meaning this right belongs to all real genuine Christians, not to secular or still ungodly persons basically. Secondly if you prayed for healing, and nothing happen first give it some time, secondly pray again till you do next get the healing, even pray to find out why the healing has not happened..
Now I know very specifically that I with 2 other church elders had prayed in a specific period for 28 people to be healed, and yet next only half were undeniably healing, but God there at the same time had revealed simultaneously to all three of us the same reasons, obstacles as to why the other persons were still not healed, including their unconfessed major sins, personal inadequacies that had to be dealt with, and in some of those cases next we prayed again for the same persons and they were healed or delivered from their bondage, sicknesses.
If you are a false teacher, a false prophet, and there are much too many of them in the Christian, secular environment, do not basically expect God firstly and rightfully to hear your prayers.. even for healing. You rather need first to get right with God yourself.
Phil 4:4 KJV) Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice.
More Wine does not prevent Cancers, nor does being a drunk, or smoking, doing bad drugs prolong ones health too.. Only Jesus does..
I can honestly say that the worse things that had happened to me in my own life next had turned out to be the best thing for me.. they caused me to grow spiritually and to grow closer to the Lord too, and we know that all things work for the good for those who love God..
(2 Cor 1:3 KJV) Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
(2 Cor 1:4 KJV) Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
(2 Cor 1:5 KJV) For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.
(2 Cor 1:6 KJV) And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation.
(2 Cor 1:7 KJV) And our hope of you is stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation.
“One thing is pretty certain in that no matter who you are, where you are, or what your religious affiliation is you will encounter some very hard things. We may not always understand why things happen but there are some things we can count on: God made it next a blessing too if we give it all over to him.
The third worse thing supposedly that happened to me initially was finding out I was going blind cause I had diabetes turned out to be another blessing.. a more stringent food diet, plus the diabetes medicine itself led to my health, heart problems improving next instead.. 30 percent of persons who take the diabetes pill, medicine find out it strengthens, helps their heart also.. and here I was expecting the worse when God made it next a blessing too.
More about Control freaks. Fears too.
Control freaks in reality are evil spirit possessed persons who do do often have a terrible personal, social life too and do often make all life terrible for those they live with, marry, work with, come in contact with.
Now Graphics, arts and photography have been hobbies of mine for decades, so it should not come as a surprise to my friends, neighbors, others to see me taking digital pictures, including scenery, trees, flowers.. http://picasaweb.google.com/thenonconformer
but I am often amazed how many times I have seen housewives objectionably running out of their front door with a phone in their hand ready to call police because they saw that I was on the sidewalk taking a picture of their tree, shrub, flower in their yard.. these are also the evidently control freaks.. these people who manifest Psychological Disorders or Abnormal Behavior, showing a personal behavior that is either deviant, maladaptive, or personally distressful. Meaning they likely need real, valid professional help. Includes now also their having an “abnormal thought processes”.
It is like the line from Simon and Garfunkels’ song, The Boxer: where ” a man hears what he wants to hear . And disregards the rest.” and the sick ladies had openly screamed to me, you are crazy, no person in his right mind now takes pictures of flowers, you have an alternative agenda.. clearly this showing now yes they have lost it.. sadly lost touch with reality.
Control freaks are very likely often very close to you, the people who are too often personally afraid, manifest phobias, fears, a need for power, and are desperately now trying to manipulate others and their environments to minimize their own fears, all now mostly done likely still out of reality, motivated by often their false fears now too. They are the often Fear-driven persons who question and complain to all others unless every task is done by others as they want it too be done, practical or not, to the full satisfaction of their own selfish needs, desires which much always come first. Do they feel guilty living such a clearly selfish, self centered life.. now, not openly and explains why they tend to behave so crazy like too. Covering up for them, falsely denying who they are is also still an act of the other crazy people now too.
These control freaks their sad present development it now have too often been a long time in the making now, for they did not arrive to this disturbed state of mind likely even over night. Their clear need to control others is almost always still mostly fueled by their ongoing selfishness, self centeredness, anxiety, personal fears, and imaginary ones mostly too, Such as the suspicious persons questioning my motives for taking pictures of flowers. I now have learned to take time to smell the roses and to enjoy them. They sadly now have not..
but the control freaks like most people when it comes to dealing with their own need of personal changes they are in a false denial , wrongfully and seldom recognize any of their negative behaviors, acts so never mind next openly even now admitting their own motivation fears. Which leads to the question can there be next hope for them.. unlikely…
Unresolved Fear, anxiety can lead next to some people with ‘liveable’ responses but with others it leads them to a deeply disabled, disturbed responses, a long lasting, permanently disturbed mind and life. Excessive anxiety and fear are factors in some common personal emotional and physical illnesses causing extreme self-focus and apprehension.
Their own lives, views, expressions, words are also characterized by them too often falsely listening to other’s lies, gossip, slanders, exaggerations, distortions of reality too. Clearly they are some of the People who have lost the fundamental grasp of truths and reality it seems. Sick, sick persons who have turned inward, defending themselves from their anxiety and usually hiding from real life in general.So instead of embracing all activities as a challenge where unexpected, difficult things are anticipated with pleasure and the person is open to new experience, rather now many activities are solely come to be seen as a potential threat and are looked at with suspicion and fearful anticipation; and a happy life for them falsely begins to close down.
Disregard simply their demands always and do not give into them, for it will wrongfully reinforce that they were right about their too often still unfounded fears rather too..
And most people try hard to avoid the Control freaks, by desperately trying to have nothing to do with them in case these supposedly crazies next go berserk and do something stupid, violent, embarrassing next.. for this fear motivation that the control freaks they tend to have is not at all healthy or normal. Do readily now Tell them to get help, and the sooner the better, to deal with their much too many fears due often to their personal unresolved guilt, and/or fears of negative resulting possible consequences, or the fear of dying, getting hurt, being fired, mugged, becoming poor, or whatever..
Non physically handicapped person suffering from considerable feelings of guilt, from considerable feelings of inadequacy is now so obvious a reality in real life for them too.
The control minded Sickness, Illness can likely rightfully often be associated with the persons own past actual bad acts, unresolved moral guilt in their own contemporary minds and their subsequent behavior now seen as related punishment for their own past, unconfessed, unrepented of moral wrongdoings that can, does come forth and so such association of cause and effect can really still exists for them as well
(1 Th 4:7 KJV) For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness.
(1 Th 5:9 KJV) For God hath not appointed us to wrath, but to obtain salvation by our Lord Jesus Christ,
(2 Tim 1:7 KJV) For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
If you are a Control freak you are not only still an unrealistic, immature, immoral person but you may have a serious personality disorder.
You likley are a menace, plus a real danger to yourself and to others, for you are an abuser, a human rights violator too.
I can readily recognize bad control freaks on the net cause they want to give me advice how to write my post, what to write, in fact they want to rather write it for me.. rather fools is what they really are.. I freely can speak for myself, write for myself now too. You readily find these freaks also in churches, homes, etc., demonic enslavers is what they rather are too now. Not much point in being nice to them for often they are too dumb to understand who they really are too often too… and they rarely change.
Having clearly now an exaggerated emphasis of your own self importance, being totally in control is part of a cluster of behaviors that can be labeled as compulsive and generally characterized by perfectionism, orderliness, workaholic tendencies, an inability to make commitments or to trust others and a real cover-up for your fear of having your own flaws exposed. You are exposed now still too..
All these type of Persons who believe they can protect themselves by staying in control of every aspect of their lives, or of others, including their relationships are idiots, fools, grossly in error, in need of professional help, good pastoral counseling.
I rightfully believe in the right of free speech, mine, yours, everyone else’s and not solely yours.
Most all of you have had to contend with control freaks and they are found everywhere, in Corporations, at home, in churches too.. These are those people who insist on having their way in all interactions with you. They wish to set the agenda and decide what it is you will do and when you will do it. You know who they are – they have a driving need to run the show and call the shots. Lurking within the fabric of the conversation is the clear threat that if you do not accede to their needs and demands, they will be unhappy.. and they will delete your post…
While in reality God has made us all equal, and GAVE US ALL MOUTHS WE CAN SPEAK WITH, EARS TO LISTEN, it seems some people, in churches, on the net, elsewhere, they still wrongfully do think they are better than others, or want to dominate others, do try to give orders to others, do try to make rules for others that they too often themselves do not follow too, they are in fact still bullies.. and now why is that? and who do they think they are now that they are so special? Mere fools. They mostly have a hidden agenda, they are falsely seeking fame, power, control, a position of prestige, for they are immoral slave drivers trying to walk on the back of others.
I have already mentioned it to you rightfully and often too before that I often get letters from some persons telling me what I can and cannot write on their sites, rather them wanting to write all of my posts too it seems. Many disturbed persons are now disturbed by the contents of my posts, so these ostriches try to find a false excuse not to deal with it, and try to instead falsely delete it. The control freaks emotional stakes includes their own identity and sense of well-being. Being in control gives them the temporary illusion and sense of calmness, a false feeling of superiority. and what fools they are when in reality they are so far from it now too.
Control freaks or Bullies, abusers, wrongfully do cause others stress so they can maintain a false sense of order. These people themselves firstly are are still riddled mostly with anxiety, fear, insecurity, and anger. They’re very critical of themselves their lover and their friends, but underneath all that still too that supposedly perfect outfit and great body is a mountain of real unhappiness, unresolved guilt, disturbed person.
Certainly, it’s natural to want to be in control of your life. But when you have to be in control of the people around you as well, well you have gone crazy, become a fool, a demonic controlled person who can’t rest until you get your way and you are headed down a very bumpy ride, it is easier to try to control yourself, and impossible to control all the others.
(1 Cor 9:27 KJV) But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.
Beware always of men and women, bullies, tormentors, control freaks, persons, civil and public servants, politicians, pastors, leaders, elders, who falsely do, will try to enslave you, oppress you, exploit you even while they claim they are proclaiming the truth, democracy, trying to help you, etc.,
Is 51:23 ..your tormentors {and} oppressors, those who said to you, Bow down, that we may ride {or} tread over you; and you have made your back like the ground and like the street for them to pass over
Is 55:7 Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return to the Lord, and He will have love, pity, {and} mercy for him, and to our God, for He will multiply to him His abundant pardon. 8 For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord. 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.
Is 56:10 watchmen are blind, they are all without knowledge; they are all dumb dogs, they cannot bark; dreaming, lying down, they love to slumber.
The need to control is almost always fueled by anxiety – though control freaks seldom recognize their fears. At work, they may worry about failure. In relationships, they may worry about not having their needs met. To keep this anxiety from overwhelming them, they try to control the people or things around them. They have a hard time with negotiation and compromise and they can’t stand imperfection. Needless to say, they are difficult to live with, work with and/or socialize with.
IT IS NOW MORE RARE BUT I DO ALSO NOW STILL GET BULLIED BY RELIGIOUS BULLIES, ABUSERS TOO.. not just by the past bad cops
The WRONGFULLY STILL Unrepentant bully’s problem is that he or she is one of those bad persons who only feels truly alive when voicing hostility and contempt for his “enemies.” Without that, he or she starts gasping for air. It’s his nature.. self-destructive” .. clearly these immoral Bully, Basher of others, Abusers of others has a disappointed, deflated ego, negative self worth, most likely related to past unresolved guilt, as a result of that the bully, he or she, tries falsely to build their ego up by bashing, hating others, by being an antagonists against his proclaimed enemies, which too often also is most people , for he or she no longer trust anyone, and Abusers this is a common very typical approach, fact in the character build up of Bullies, Bashers, but their approach is futile, the subsequent feeling of self worth dissipates too quickly, are actually replaced by guilt, and his ego, self worth likely needs to be recharged with new hate.. and is replaced with more and larger hatred of the others. I have seen this type of wrong behavior not just in bad managers, bad politicians, bad persons, but in alcoholics, and most often in Albertan rednecks ,but also in religious fundamentals evangelicals who promote hated towards Pentecostal Christians as well, and now as well as the crooked pastor wrongfully fighting for control over others. Public exposure and prosecution of these bad persons here too services everyone’s best interest.
Here also is what I know for sure, the older the person is the more extreme, more severe, the more difficult the punishment has to be on them to cause them to personally to change in their own negative ways, for they are too set in them now too.
I do not have to accept any of the negative consequences, or bad acts of other persons and their sins too. That includes their verbal abuse, physical abuse, slander, lies, emotional abuses, their false silent treatment too now. etc.. I can even tell them that now too.
I still am often amazed how many control freaks I do encounter, and yes often they can also be found in schools, homes, work, church, governments, elsewhere too.. these are people who often claim they are giving you some helpful hints, tips, advice but are trying to manipulate you to do something they rather want. “there’s no one answer to abuse…..here is one that helps you till God deals with the other person.. he often takes them far away from you, and some even die early.. or they do next suffer really bad…
http://alabaxterblog.wordpress.com/2008/08/15/the-answer-to-abuse/
Is 56:10 watchmen are blind, they are all without knowledge; they are all dumb dogs, they cannot bark; dreaming, lying down, they love to slumber.
The need to control is almost always fueled by anxiety – though control freaks seldom recognize their fears. At work, they may worry about failure. In relationships, they may worry about not having their needs met. To keep this anxiety from overwhelming them, they try to control the people or things around them. They have a hard time with negotiation and compromise and they can’t stand imperfection. Needless to say, they are difficult to live with, work with and/or socialize with.
“Those who demand the most often give the least.” Ask them to send you something or do something for you. By asking something of them, you will be indicating that you are not intimidated or diminished by their behavior patterns. In order to not feel degraded, humiliated and have your sense of self and self worth assaulted, you need to avoid being bulldozed by a controlling lover, boss or friend. When you are caught up in a truly destructive/controlling attachment, the best response may still also still be to expose them and to call the police and also walk out.
You may also seriously want to look more into why some people personally tend to have a large, a false amount of guilt, phobias, unresolved genuine fears too.
Have you ever felt guilty? Of course you have, usually because you were indeed guilty. But not always!
Phobia. [Gr. phobos, fear.] any persistent, irrational, and excessive fear of some particular thing or situation. (Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionary, 1983 Many People who have struggled with phobias understand how immune such phobias where even the irrational fears continue to plague the victim.
Many “People with low self-esteem experience a high degree of insecurity and jeopardy. They do not feel safe most of the time. One defense is to become a perfectionist. After all if you do something perfectly, you are beyond criticism and no one can hurt you. Perfectionism is an attempt to create perfect safety (which is, needless to say, unattainable). The other safety attempt is to become a control freak and try to control everything. If we can control everything, nothing will ever jump up and surprise or hurt us.
People with low self-esteem tend to live in a closed system that is hard to break. Because they have difficulty admitting negatives, either about themselves or their behavior, it is hard to reach them. It is especially difficult for someone with low self-esteem who is defensive or in denial to admit that they are afraid. As a result, it is difficult, occasionally impossible, to reassure them that it is okay to be afraid or to be in pain. Their major fear is that it is all their fault. That’s a lie. It is not all their fault, but it’s a lie that’s hard to surrender.” http://www.getnewvisions.com/se/03crse_symptoms.html
People who are doing wrong, doing their own thing without God rightfully still do need to feel guilty about they wrongs they are doing too. Believe it or not if you continually cheat, lie, steal, commit adultery, tell lies, do bad things, etc you will subconsciously even feel bad about yourself and have a very low self esteem too and often falsely try to compensate the void by the false counterfeits still of power, control, more lusts, money etc., to no permanent avail too
But what about those times when you have feelings of guilt even when you didn’t do anything wrong?
Some people say that “Usually a person driven by false guilt is afraid of freedom because in every act of freedom is the possibility of offending someone. Offending someone is unacceptable. Other people are seen as pipelines of approval. If they’re offended, the pipeline shuts down.” Maybe you feel guilty cause you have been lazy and did not much good too? so you feel this void in your own life?see also http://www.anxietycare.org.uk/docs/agoraphobia.asp
and there is also the genuine and also the false religious fears now too..”Relatively little attention is given by many of us to religious fears, however. It is apparent that manipulative minds can readily distort the scriptures in order to produce feelings of fear, guilt, remorse and even hysteria. The followers of Jim Jones and Ayatollah Khomeini can attest to that. What is surprising is that often the victims are aware of their paranoia and know it to be destructive, but feel powerless to overcome it. ” http://www.freeminds.org/psych/phobias.htm
Now if something you are doing makes you feel really bad, first do find out why and maybe stop doing it too. Or maybe not! Don’t take the false blame for another persons fault, sickness, sin.
For being nice. kind, friendly to a really bad person is still also a complete waste of time, for they will not change their negative behaviors on their own, they see no reasons to do so now still too. Sad but true.
We cannot never control a bad person, a drug addict or an alcoholic, but we can learn all about it and learn firstly to control our own behavior, appropriate responses –including how we should behave in the relationship with the sick and suffering and /or possibly manipulative addict or alcoholic, abuser OR THESE pretentious persons..
Public exposure and prosecution of the guilty persons seems to be most effective way that works for everyone’s benefit in dealing with the bad acts of others still.
(Job 28:28 KJV) And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding.
(2 Chr 19:7 KJV) Wherefore now let the fear of the LORD be upon you; take heed and do it: for there is no iniquity with the LORD our God, nor respect of persons, nor taking of gifts
(Psa 19:9 KJV) The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring for ever: the judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether.
(Psa 34:11 KJV) Come, ye children, hearken unto me: I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
(Psa 111:10 KJV) The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endureth for ever.
(Prov 1:7 KJV) The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
(Prov 1:29 KJV) For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the LORD:
(Prov 8:13 KJV) The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate.
(Prov 9:10 KJV) The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.
(Prov 10:27 KJV) The fear of the LORD prolongeth days: but the years of the wicked shall be shortened.
(Prov 14:27 KJV) The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death.
(Prov 15:16 KJV) Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble therewith.
(Prov 15:33 KJV) The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom; and before honour is humility.
(Prov 19:23 KJV) The fear of the LORD tendeth to life: and he that hath it shall abide satisfied; he shall not be visited with evil.
(Prov 23:17 KJV) Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the LORD all the day long.
(Isa 33:6 KJV) And wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability of thy times, and strength of salvation: the fear of the LORD is his treasure.
(Acts 9:31 KJV) Then had the churches rest throughout all Judaea and Galilee and Samaria, and were edified; and walking in the fear of the Lord, and in the comfort of the Holy Ghost, were multiplied.
now that all should be adequate food for thought..
I believe in all things work for the best for those who love God, but I rebuke all evil persons rightfully still.. I do not accept rightfully their abuse of others. Here is my reality.. Control freaks are demonic persons, led by the devil, who try to bring us into bondage, and they tend to get a lot more crazy, get a lot worse..
It is amazing to me that Christian Men have the same power trip over women as Muslim men, and do they beat them as well?
And here it is also very interesting to note that of the main issue in many persons comparative religion issues on the net on the major religions it boiled down as to how they treat women rather still.. and how they do allow divorce too..
Most people cannot and will not next change positively on their own without God’s input, help
they cannot change in their own negative ways, for they are too set in them now too.
Jesus has set me free.. from even being hooked to sins, and also from the bondage, the false oppression, enslavement by others.. sadly many other people want to be still enslaved but not me, I have really experienced freedom, I know what it is like, and I want to maintain my full freedom by God’s permission, help, now too. When I think about being set free I often do think about two images, visions that God has given me typically.. an all black, dark picture that turns to a normal scenery… and a picture of a large snake coming at me the size of a train which next disappears instead..
Can a Person change themselves? Is there hope for anyone? Only if they follow God’s rules!! Accepting Jesus! and we all should look at the calendar.. 2008 ad.. 2008 years after the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ… so undeniably of an event it even changed the calendar history too.
Trying to help an abuser?
Establish clear, simple to follow Boundaries, Set Limits, Set detachment. One example of setting a boundary is telling a close friend, a loved one that you prefer they not be around you if they are smoking, drunk or high. Notice that it is specific demand, and you have to sit down and communicate this type of request explicitly with that someone. Setting a boundary like this is difficult because there is this tendency to hurt other’s feelings. But that is part of what is keeping you ineffective- your caring more about this person’s feelings than your own personal well being. Setting boundaries is about putting your own personal well being and even that of others first, and letting that be a guiding example of how to live. You know you are setting effective boundaries when you are taking back control of your own life firstly and starting to regain your own sanity-instead of being all wrapped up in the problems of a struggling smoker, rebel, drug addict or alcoholic.
“Here are some things that you can do in order to practice detachment with the struggling pervert in your life:
-Don’t do things that they should be doing themselves.
-Don’t bend over backwards to rescue them or save them from natural consequences.
-Don’t cover up for their mistakes or embarrassing situations.
-Don’t rescue them from crisis or financial situations.
-Don’t try to fix them.
-Let go of any guilt you may have about them
Detachment is not about denying your emotions. If someone close to you dies, for example, you will probably feel sad. You can’t choose this feeling. It simply is. But we do have the power to affect the intensity of this feeling, by focusing on the positive aspects of the situation. We can also change our thinking in an attempt to eradicate irrational beliefs that might be contributing to our emotional turmoil.
The goal is not to go without emotions, the goal is to achieve some level of emotional stability. We are detaching from the negative, irrational thoughts that stir up our emotions-like the guilt we might have if we think someone’s perversity, addiction is our fault.
Prayer and Detachment are difficult and takes practice but it helps the whole works..
I really often do try to learn from the many diverse experiences I encounter in life, to be able to deal with them more effectively and to be able to help, share more simply with any others even the solutions as well as to what I have experienced and what I have learned now as well..
Now I have clearly mentioned that Control freaks tend to be rightfully guilt ridden sinners, and so they next try to cover up it with both false denials and a false perfection approach too… for too many people too often do people try to compensate for an imbalance in one area by an extreme in another area of their own personal life… such as seeking for the perfect mate, perfect job, perfect marriage and they will never, never find it, for this world is really imperfect and you should know that by now too.. AND IN LOVE YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT, TO MAKE THE BEST OF IT STILL ALWAYS TOO.
(1 Ki 8:46 KJV) If they sin against thee, (for there is no man that sinneth not,) and thou be angry with them, and deliver them to the enemy, so that they carry them away captives unto the land of the enemy, far or near;
(Eccl 7:20 KJV) For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not.
(John 15:5 KJV) I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
(John 15:6 KJV) If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.
(John 15:7 KJV) If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.
(John 15:8 KJV) Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.
(John 15:9 KJV) As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.
(John 15:10 KJV) If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love.
(John 15:11 KJV) These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.
(John 15:12 KJV) This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.
(John 15:13 KJV) Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
(John 15:14 KJV) Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.
(John 15:15 KJV) Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.
(John 15:16 KJV) Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you.
(John 15:17 KJV) These things I command you, that ye love one another.
(1 John 3:6 KJV) Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him.
(1 John 5:18 KJV) We know that whosoever is born of God sinneth not; but he that is begotten of God keepeth himself, and that wicked one toucheth him not.
NOW IF YOU THINK YOUR SPOUSE IS NON PERFECT, OR THEY ARE A NON CHRISTIAN, ..always do firstly still pray for them daily, pray blessings for them and not rather curses too, .. AND NOT FALSELY FILE FOR DIVORCE.. it is as a simple as that too. Only in heaven when we are married to Jesus will we have the perfect marriage, the perfect father, the perfect brother.
(Prov 3:7 KJV) Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.
(Prov 3:8 KJV) It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.
(Prov 3:9 KJV) Honour the LORD with thy substance, and with the first fruits of all thine increase:
(Prov 3:10 KJV) So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine.
(Deu 18:13 KJV) Thou shalt be perfect with the LORD thy God.
(2 Sam 22:31 KJV) As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him.
(2 Sam 22:33 KJV) God is my strength and power: And he maketh my way perfect.
(1 Ki 8:61 KJV) Let your heart therefore be perfect with the LORD our God, to walk in his statutes, and to keep his commandments, as at this day.
(1 Ki 11:4 KJV) For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father.
(2 Ki 20:3 KJV) I beseech thee, O LORD, remember now how I have walked before thee in truth and with a perfect heart, and have done that which is good in thy sight. And Hezekiah wept sore.
(1 Chr 29:9 KJV) Then the people rejoiced, for that they offered willingly, because with perfect heart they offered willingly to the LORD: and David the king also rejoiced with great joy.
(2 Chr 16:9 KJV) For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him. Herein thou hast done foolishly: therefore from henceforth thou shalt have wars.
(2 Chr 19:9 KJV) And he charged them, saying, Thus shall ye do in the fear of the LORD, faithfully, and with a perfect heart.
(2 Chr 25:2 KJV) And he did that which was right in the sight of the LORD, but not with a perfect heart.
(Job 1:1 KJV) There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil.
(Job 1:8 KJV) And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil?
(Job 8:20 KJV) Behold, God will not cast away a perfect man, neither will he help the evil doers:
(Psa 18:30 KJV) As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.
(Psa 18:32 KJV) It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect.
(Psa 19:7 KJV) The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple.
(Psa 37:37 KJV) Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright: for the end of that man is peace.
(Prov 2:21 KJV) For the upright shall dwell in the land, and the perfect shall remain in it.
(Prov 4:18 KJV) But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day.
(Prov 11:5 KJV) The righteousness of the perfect shall direct his way: but the wicked shall fall by his own wickedness.
(Isa 26:3 KJV) Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
(Mat 5:48 KJV) Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
(Mat 19:21 KJV) Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.
(John 17:23 KJV) I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.
(Rom 12:2 KJV) And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
(1 Cor 13:10 KJV) But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
(2 Cor 12:9 KJV) And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
(Gal 3:3 KJV) Are ye so foolish? having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh?
(Eph 4:13 KJV) Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:
(2 Tim 3:17 KJV) That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.
(Heb 13:21 KJV) Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is wellpleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
(James 1:17 KJV) Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.
(James 1:25 KJV) But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.
(Rev 3:2 KJV) Be watchful, and strengthen the things which remain, that are ready to die: for I have not found thy works perfect before God.
see also
http://pbulow.tripod.com/
http://anyonecare.wordpress.com/2008/05/26/how-to-pray-for-healing/
The too common abusive silent treatment
https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/12/29/coping-with-personal-unresolved-stress/
http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/07/07/control-freaks/
https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/08/12/more-about-control-freaks/
https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/07/03/verbal-abuse-is-always-unacceptable-too/
http://www.ec-online.net/knowledge/Articles/control.html
http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/07/04/discern-it/
http://anyonecare.wordpress.com/2008/06/21/equality/
http://anyonecare.wordpress.com/2008/07/02/unchristian/
https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/07/27/can-a-person-change/
https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/08/30/perfect-versus-perfectionists/
http://redreadingroom.blogspot.com/2008/01/intro.html
http://witnessed.wordpress.com/2008/08/24/unbelievable-the-internet-control-freaks-false-spin-doctors/
Focus on the Family 