Marriage breakdown

FIRSTLY DID YOU MAKE A MISTAKE, A SERIOUS ONE AND PUT YOUR FAMILY BEFORE GOD, FOR GOD NEXT WILL SHOW YOU YOUR ERROR, HE WILL SHOW YOU WHAT YOUR FAMILY IS REALLY LIKE NOW TOO..

Mat 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. Mat 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. Mat 10:36 And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household. Mat 10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Mat 10:38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.

These days it is very likley that you get divorced as likley as you will get cancer or a heart disease.. many divorces are ALSO caused even by outside influences.. such by the input of bad persons too… demons such as lawyers, bad judges, relatives and the  bad pastors too.. http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2014/01/04/the-problem-of-doing-your-own-thing/

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John 4:16    Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither. 17    The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: 18    For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.

I draw your attention to this women that Jesus himself had  encountered whose numerous husbands did not meet her needs.

John 4: 10    Jesus answered and said unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water. 13    Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again: 14    But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life. 15    The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw.

God alone has the sole final thirst quencher too..

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 All these clearly fools, perverse judges, lawyers, and spouses show us all openly again and again what they are really like by their own bad acts HERE TOO. http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2009/01/02/divorce-and-remarriage-in-the-christian-church/

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Sad but true also that  most liars falsely do not admit lying is a bad sin..Sad that most people do lie..cause they falsely still do believe that it can produce good for them and others.. but that is not so.. and. continual liars do now even become mentally sick persons.. http://canada.today.tripod.com/d/lying.htm

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LET’S ALSO  NOT PRETEND TO BE DUMB AND DENY THAT MANY OF THE SPOUSES AND THEIR LAWYERS, SUPPORTERS OFTEN WASTE THE COURT’S TIME AND TAX PAYER’S MONEY FOR  THEY DO LIE IN DIVORCE DISPUTE TO THE COURTS TOO.. DO COMMIT PERJURY TO TH COURTS  AND RARELY FACE ANY NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES FOR IT.

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One cause of many of the marriage problem is a false pride, family pride, the lying wife even bragging how good her family, parents are or how good her husband is.. for pride is a very deadly sin, and also the problem of gifts.. There is no one who is Just, Good according to the Bible too.

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(Deu 16:19 KJV)  Thou shalt not wrest judgment; thou shalt not respect persons, neither take a gift: for a gift doth blind the eyes of the wise, and pervert the words of the righteous.

(Prov 17:8 KJV)  A gift is as a precious stone in the eyes of him that hath it: whithersoever it turneth, it prospereth.

(Prov 17:23 KJV)  A wicked man taketh a gift out of the bosom to pervert the ways of judgment.

(Eccl 7:7 KJV)  Surely oppression maketh a wise man mad; and a gift destroyeth the heart.

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Perverted by gifts.  I have seen it happen, Husbands have complained about it to me as well, one  of many serious reasons a marriage can break down is the meddling in laws, where the mother and father in law, brother or sister give a gift to the wife, and she next indecently, independently  refuses to share this gift with her husband, but on top of that she loses respect for her husband, cause he did not give this money to her, this same gift is actually a bribe that destroys the marriage. The gift should have been given to the husband and not the wife.

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(1 Cor 11:3 KJV)  But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

(Eph 5:23 KJV)  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

(1 Pet 2:7 KJV)  Unto you therefore which believe he is precious: but unto them which be disobedient, the stone which the builders disallowed, the same is made the head of the corner,

(Psa 5:5 KJV)  The foolish shall not stand in thy sight: thou hatest all workers of iniquity.

(Prov 9:6 KJV)  Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding.

(Prov 9:13 KJV)  A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.

(Prov 14:1 KJV)  Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

(Prov 15:7 KJV)  The lips of the wise disperse knowledge: but the heart of the foolish doeth not so.

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Many people falsely believe that because they are married  professing Christians they are spared, immune from all marriage problems and divorce. The high rate of divorce amongst even evangelical Christians is also now due to the fact they are merely Playing religion and merely going to church for show which is totally inadequate as well. No matter what the false excuse, false justification one now offers, when one is often busy doing their own will, their own thing  and following after mere men instead of God directly, and with continual ungodliness and continuing in sin without continual repentance, it is not at all now possible even by grace to even stay as  a genuine believer! Next that is why as I have  have witnessed directly the last 5 decades too that at least 50 percent of once loudly professing Christians now they are no longer by their own personal choice too walking with God. A recent survey shows that 70 percent of evangelical pastors have admitted to adultery, and about 30 percent of evangelicals practice martial divorce that God hates as a direct result too. Their spiritual downfall is related that almost all of these people really do not know God, they have heard of him, but they are drastically failing to personally know him more everyday, especially  when 85 percent of professing Christians are playing religion only, for they do spend less than 5 minutes a day in God’s word, thus with God. When they all, even the pastors now should be with God in prayer  and in his word at least one hour a day.. yet these same people can find time for other bad things though. So God is not mocked what they sow they reap, and where they the sow nothing, they reap nothing.. For faith comes by hearing and hearing comes from abiding in God Word, the same Bible, word that will keep a believer in God’s will and will keep them next from sin. The unrepentant sins will keep a person next away from prayer, God and the Bible.. many professing Christians have clearly built their house on sinking sand instead of the solid rock Jesus thus. Be ye also doers of God’s words and not mere hearers.

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 http://postedat.wordpress.com/2009/06/17/hear-the-word-of-the-lord/

http://postedat.wordpress.com/2009/03/06/don%e2%80%99t-believe-everything-you-read-or-see/

 http://witnessed.wordpress.com/2014/01/05/how-to-handle-divorce/ 

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If you still do have a God shaped vacuum that is unfilled, then no other things, no relationships or careers, goals, next will satisfy you, not any personal, social, community relationships..

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Note this reality.. like it or not.. believe it or not..

Both fornicators and adulterers are excluded from Heaven. They are pursuing vanities as far as God is concerned..

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“Have you not known that the unrighteous the reign of God shall not inherit? Be not led astray; neither whoremongers, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, the reign of God shall inherit. And certain of you were these! But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were declared righteous, in the name of the Lord Jesus, and in the Spirit of our God” (1 Cor 6:9).

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(James 4:5 KJV)  Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy?

http://morechristlike.com/documents/DivorceMcFallview.pdf

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(Eccl 7:17 KJV)  Be not over much wicked, neither be thou foolish: why shouldest thou die before thy time?

(Jer 5:4 KJV)  Therefore I said, Surely these are poor; they are foolish: for they know not the way of the LORD, nor the judgment of their God.

(Ezek 13:3 KJV)  Thus saith the Lord GOD; Woe unto the foolish prophets, that follow their own spirit, and have seen nothing!

(Gal 3:3 KJV)  Are ye so foolish? having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh?

(1 Tim 6:9 KJV)  But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition.

(Titus 3:3 KJV)  For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another.

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We all do even  need to seriously know, differentiate between how God now deals with the wicked, those persons deliberately disobedient to him, he God does not go along with them for sure .. God’s grace of forgiveness even does not extend to everyone..

and next the righteous those people who put their trust in him.. God is merciful, kind to them, but not all professing Christians now are righteous for sure as well.

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Every time you do openly speak or write a great truth, a valid complaint now too,  the devil next will try to use someone to try to discredit it and you and I do not have to accept it too. Verbal, emotional, physical, legal, Human rights  abuses are unacceptable for all.. Ironically some  of the biggest bullies I have encountered in Canada themselves had claimed to be good persons and that they themselves supposedly  were being bullied, abused by others .The issue of dealing effectively with the too many  false bullies on the web also now needs to be addressed..  I too do believe that we all have the right , in turns, to speak , to be heard as well, still when I see any person next resorting to merely personal attacks, name calling of others, such as  calling them ” Vile, Low Life, Criminal, Hoodlum,  Scum Bag , Crass Miscreant, Serial Online criminal, and disgusting Sociopath  ”  they should note that firstly themselves have lost it all already.. have lost both support and credibility now as well, for in fact they now are no better than the person they are supposedly complaining about. Even if they call themselves now professing Christians for Satan and his fallen angels also like to masquerade themselves as Angels of light. Messengers of the truth.. for  I do next also expose what they are like, really bad persons, to all..  I did not hesitate to expose now rightfully such person myself.. even if they were relatives of mine.. or fellow citizens.   By their own doings, fruit you still tell what a person now is like.. (Mat 7:2 KJV)  For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. 3  And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? 4  Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? 5  Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye. .

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Verbal abuse is always unacceptable too. So are the Bullies now too

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Many People usually accuse others of what they are guilty themselves, that is why they are so conscious of it often..

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Desperate people try also to get personal about others when they cannot disprove the facts.. But still how ironic they are now even next condemned  by their own words, the beam in their  own eyes, and the distorted  accusations of others thus! People who ask others not to judge them ironically are often  judging the others  for supposedly judging the others.

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God still does not overlook unrepentant sins.. so wake up.. especially the sins involving the abuse of others. The abusers now matter who they are seem to like to  give it to others but can’t take a rebuke themselves  ehh..  they need to Stop telling the  others what to do .. to live it themselves first .. for what you are speak louder than any of your words

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when the Holy Spirit comes he will also reprove the world of sin, judgment, righteousness.. and not be an Ostrich to their  own sins, wrong doings

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I do not think much of control freaks, bullies too and do   see also my many posts on how to deal with control freaks.. abusers..

  

for example

http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/07/07/control-freaks/ or

https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/07/17/the-too-common-abusive-silent-treatment/

https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/08/12/more-about-control-freaks/

https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/07/03/verbal-abuse-is-always-unacceptable-too/

http://thenonconformer.blogspot.com/2008/12/coping-with-bad.html

http://postedat.wordpress.com/2009/06/17/hear-the-word-of-the-lord/

http://postedat.wordpress.com/2009/06/24/no-one-is-above-the-law/

http://mccainvrsobama.wordpress.com/2009/06/10/separated-from-god/

http://postedat.wordpress.com/2009/06/11/the-wicked/

http://postedat.wordpress.com/2009/06/11/the-righteous/

http://postedat.wordpress.com/2009/07/16/abused/

https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/11/23/biblical-divorce/

http://witnessed.wordpress.com/2008/11/16/are-you-a-real-christian-or-a-pretender-imposter-still/

http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/10/02/how-to-keep-oneself-away-from-sexual-transgressions/

https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/12/24/why-the-high-divorce-rates/

http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2009/01/02/divorce-and-remarriage-in-the-christian-church/

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Throw the bum out..

ONE OF THE MOST COMMON, POPULAR TOPICS, SEARCHES ON THE INTERNET is can a Christian next get divorced and remarried, and the simple answer is no! but wait  do not stop reading yet.. if you are married, living to a demon, a control freak, a liar, a lazy good for nothing abusive person then please now do immediately get out of the marriage, do get an immediate separation.. and this not the kind of advice you would expect from a preacher of peace and love, but I am telling you all this for our own good, and you can thank me later.. and maybe next the still good for nothing bum, lousy spouse, he or she will wake up as to what she is really like and they may try to get help to change herself, himself.. but meanwhile don’t feel guilty about the peace you now have in your life.. By the way make sure first you are not the creepy, a good for nothing spouse yourself otherwise by your actions you will be doing your own spouse a great, great service.

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Fornication, Adultery, Marital failures, and many other destructive conditions, exist because of sin. They also do exist because humans have decided that their way is better than God’s way. They have decided that fulfilling their desires is more important than obeying and glorifying the Creator/Sustainer of the universe. Nevertheless, all persons must learn what the Bible says about sin, adultery in order to see it the way God sees it. Only when we change our views to line up with God’s views can we live the full, blessed life He has waiting for us. Personal Sins of commission are also often the result of One’s sins of omission, even the sin of presumption. Believe it or not when you sin deliberately and do not admit it, stop the sin even, there is still a price to pay.. even now especially for adultery… divorce… One of the undeniable punishment is that your sin is shouted from the Housetops..  http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2009/01/02/divorce-and-remarriage-in-the-christian-church/

 

God Himself has now promised to meet all of our needs if we serve Him, not our wants, lusts, desires, wishes. http://kambulow.blogspot.ca/…/god-always-comes-first.html

 

Sadly too many divorces are ALSO caused even by outside influences.. such as by the input of bad persons too, even the demons such as bad lawyers, bad judges, bad relatives and the bad pastors too..  https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2009/06/11/marriage-breakdown/   

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In generally in the more   liberal society of Canada both the wife and the children tend to have much more freedom, rights, make their own decisions,  over many other countries and as a result the culture shock is a very real problem for some new immigrant spouses where the husband was used to being obeyed, and being the sole head of the home  thus  it’s not altogether uncommon for some of the new immigrant  home situations to become  unacceptably violent.

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It was a surprise to me  that when I graduated from University as a Professional Engineer, I next met loads of associates in the real business world really messed up. Alcoholics, drug users, new age religion fanatics, weirdo’s. who clearly need real pastoral counseling.

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(1 Cor 13:1 KJV) Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

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 Marriage is a legal contract where both of the parties have obligations, duties and responsibilities to keep.. and it is not just the spouse who has to provide the bread on the table..

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One of the most common questions I next encountered in life, counseling  was can a Christian get divorced too

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ONE OF THE MOST COMMON, POPULAR TOPICS, SEARCHES ON THE INTERNET by Christians is still  can a Christian next get divorced and remarried, and the simple answer is no! but wait  do not stop reading yet.. if you are married, living to a demon, a control freak, a liar, a lazy good for nothing abusive person then please now do immediately get out of the marriage, do get an immediate separation.. and this not the kind of advice you would expect from a preacher of peace and love, but I am telling you all this for our own good, and you can thank me later.. and maybe next the still good for nothing bum, lousy spouse, he or she will wake up as to what she is really like and they may try to get help to change herself, himself.. but meanwhile don’t feel guilty about the peace you now have in your life.. By the way make sure first you are not the creepy, a good for nothing spouse yourself otherwise by your actions you will be doing your own spouse a great, great service. .
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Any Children of God even who are verbally abused they will next be also physically abused if the matter is not adequately dealt with ASAP{.. Abusing others is a common reaction of the carnal flesh and is brought on by many different reasons such as 1: unfulfilled lusts or 2: a spoiled child syndrome who tries to get their own way by whatever method it can 3: sibling rivalry 4: people who have no or little moral values, respect of others 5: one’s parental influence and upbringing..6: demon possessed persons, etc. The devil, demons and demon seduced persons, professing Christian persons falsely, wrongfully take false delight in slandering, abusing, bashing others and their evident fruits of hatred alone shows how false they themselves now are too. they clearly had, do manifest the opposite of the fruit of the Holy Spirit which is love. ,

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The sad reality is abusers rarely change unless they are made personally to face some severe negative consequences, and the older they are the more severe it seems it has to be..So first you merely ask the guilty, bad persons personally to repent twice, the first time without a witness, the second time with witnesses THAT you have asked them to repent.. and proof, substantiation is NOT required.. after you have done that you can next post it openly on the net, tell all the others. Next God is fully free to deal with the unrepentant guilty offenders and believe me he will.. I have now been doing for decades too..

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 Anyone who has not lived even with an alcoholic,  drug users can hardly appreciate the shame, loneliness, neglect, sorrows, abuses, that come with it.. and how one desires to be freed of all this ASAP..even by divorce..  But the Bible is clear we must give the alcohol, abusive person,  spouse a chance to repent, to confess their sins, and to repent still. I too cannot live with any alcoholic.. for sure..

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John 4:16    Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither.

17    The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband:

18    For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.

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I draw your attention to this women that Jesus himself had  encountered a women whose numerous husbands did not meet her needs.

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John 4: 10    Jesus answered and said unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water.

13    Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again:

14    But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.

15    The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw.

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God alone has the sole final thirst quencher too

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No divorce But you can get a separation with no right of remarriage.. Sadly many people falsely believe that a divorce will make them happy and the second marriage will be better.. In all likelihood it will not.. Even if separated so now anyway you are still married and there is no discussion about a divorce by God.. As Professing Christians we now love and live God’s way and not the Hollywood  way.. and  we do nothing without God’s approval, blessing, will….

 http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2009/01/02/divorce-and-remarriage-in-the-christian-church/

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1 Corinthians 7:

9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. 10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

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1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

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The scriptures teach that every Christian will face many trials and disappointments in this life and He promises to deliver us from them all. “Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all” (Psalms 34:19).

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However, we must understand, our deliverance and victory may not always mean the immediate alteration of our circumstances. God may not always choose, or be at liberty, to change some external circumstances immediately. Instead, He will change YOU internally so that you can “endure” the circumstances. Till the time is right to do otherwise.

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We also do need to start see as God being the main provider  for all of our needs, desires, fulfillment, goals, happiness,   and not our spouse, our ex husbands..

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The Bible tells us that “God is your refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” (Psalms 46:1). You are not alone. Jesus has promised to never leave you nor forsake you (Heb. 12:13). Turn your attention to Him and His Word. Wait upon Him and He will strengthen you with His peace. “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee” (Isaiah 26:3).

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By faith, release your cares, your concerns and worries to Him. Trust Him to work out the end result. He will either change your circumstance or will change you to deal with them! Take His rest and peace upon you, believing that He has taken the burden from you. “Cast all your cares upon him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

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God has shown us that He is our Protector and Provider, no matter what we are going through.

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For he hath not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; neither hath he hid his face from him; but when he cried unto him, he heard. Psalm 22:24 The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. Psalm 18:2

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Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you will revive me: you shall stretch forth your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand shall save me. Psalm 138:7

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You Must Put Your Faith with God, Not in Your Feelings

Find out God’s will and do it and the rest falls into place

Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

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Philippians 4: 1 Therefore, my brethren dearly beloved and longed for, my joy and crown, so stand fast in the Lord, my dearly beloved. 4 Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. 6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

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(1 Pet 3:7 KJV) Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

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“Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offenses contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them. For they that are such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple.” -Romans 16:17-18 KJV

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God himself clearly does not accept verbal, physical, or human rights abuses

(Mat 18:6 KJV) But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

(Mat 18:7 KJV) Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!

No we ALL cannot STOP, take the ostrich approach under the guise of love to the definite bad acts of others, we as Christians are still called to be fruit inspectors of even those who profess to be Christians ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY RARELY QUOTE IT in actual context OR LIVE THE BIBLE THEY CLAIM THEY BELIEVE IN-

(Mat 18:8 KJV) Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.

(1 Tim 5:20 KJV) Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.

(2 Tim 4:2 KJV) Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.

(Titus 1:13 KJV) This witness is true. Wherefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith;

(Titus 2:15 KJV) These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee.

(Heb 12:5 KJV) And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:

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Mat 5:22 KJV) But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.

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James 4:1 From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? :2 Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. 3 Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. 4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with

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God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. 5 Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? 6 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. 7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. 9 Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. 10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

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I was really saddened to note that too many of the abuses I have witnessed were done by bad , greedy people trying to steal , then trying to get other people’s money for themselves, stealing the money, or getting it under false pretenses. The love of more money is still the basis of what many of the wrong doings is, was all about..

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(1 Tim 6:6 KJV) But godliness with contentment is great gain.

(1 Tim 6:17 KJV) Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy;

(Psa 37:16 KJV) A little that a righteous man hath is better than the riches of many wicked. 17 For the arms of the wicked shall be broken: but the LORD upholdeth the righteous.

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Everyone needs to set boundaries on what is acceptable behavior. No verbal abuses, no bullying, no lying, no foul languages, no hitting or other violence should be allowed.

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God does not at all not  allow, accept any human rights, verbal and physical abuses and neither should we.. And Exemplary public exposure of the Bullies, abusers, the bad, guilty persons serves everyone’s best interest next too. God undeniably himself does not show false partialities . Shout the abuses, sins truth from the housetops..

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Let me tell you we do not have to accept human rights abuse that is a lie of the devil.. in this world we have the same rights as the bully even the right to see that a bully is punished for abusing us.. God is not ignorant about the injustices inflicted upon his people, nor does he accept any of our human rights abuses without punishing the abusers shortly.. see the Bible book of Esther if you have doubts..

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Est 9:25 But when Esther came before the king, he commanded by letters that his wicked device, which he devised against the Jews, should return upon his own head, and that he and his sons should be hanged on the gallows.

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Now actually my whole bad family were bad slave drivers.. wife, mother and father in law, brother and sister in law, father, twin brother and his had wife too.. still are.. 30 percent of all persons need to be in jail all of their life.. the bullies, perverts, rapists, criminals, human rights abusers. Not surprisingly many prideful people FALSELY STILL DO try to take the place of God in my life too, AND these imposters claim even that they have been chosen, designated by God to command over me, THAT I am required into forced submission to their whims, desires , commands. But funny God now himself has not revealed those facts as well to me BUT only to them. I put my trust in God and not in man

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AND WHEN YOU DO NOT DO WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO DO THESE SAME RATHER LITTLE BAD CHILDREN NEXT DO INSULT YOU, SLANDER YOU, DIVORCE YOU, OSTRACIZE YOU, BAD MOUTH YOU. WHO CARES I DO NOT CARE TO DEAL WITH THEM FIRSTLY OR ANYMORE TOO

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Cor 13:1 KJV Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. “Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offenses contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them. For they that are such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple.” -Romans 16:17-18KJV God himself clearly does not accept verbal, physical, or human rights abuses (Mat 18:6 KJV) But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.(Mat 18:7 KJV) Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!(1 Tim 6:6 KJV) But godliness with contentment is great gain.(1 Tim 6:17 KJV) Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy (Psa 37:16 KJV) A little that a righteous man hath is better than the riches of many wicked. 17 For the arms of the wicked shall be broken: but the LORD upholdeth the righteous. I know that even demon inspired persons will next face negative consequences cause so I am in the right asking them next to repent of these their wrong doings undeniably too. Any Children of God even who are verbally abused they will next be also physically abused if the matter is not adequately dealt with ASAP Your Abusing others is a common reaction of the carnal flesh and is brought on by many different reasons such as 1: unfulfilled lusts or 2: a spoiled child syndrome who tries to get their own way by whatever method it can 3: sibling rivalry 4: people who have no or little moral values, respect of others 5: one’s parental influence and  upbringing..6: demon possessed persons, etc. The devil, demons and demon seduced persons, professing Christian persons falsely, wrongfully take false delight in slandering, abusing, bashing others and their evident fruits of hatred alone The sad reality is abusers rarely change unless they are made personally to face some severe negative consequences, and the older they are the more severe it seems it has to be. So first you merely ask the guilty, bad persons personally to repent twice, the first time without a witness, the second time with witnesses THAT you have asked them to repent.. and proof, substantiation is NOT required.. after you have done that you can next post it openly on the net, tell all the others. Next God is fully free to deal with the unrepentant guilty offenders and believe me he will.. I have now been doing for decades too.. The bad false persons they themselves now clearly had, do manifest the opposite of the fruit of the Holy Spirit which is love (Mat 18:8 KJV) Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire (1 Tim 5:20 KJV) Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may  fear 2 Tim 4:2 KJV Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine. (Titus 1:13 KJV) This witness is true. Wherefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be
sound in the faith (Titus 2:15 KJV) These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee

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you are indirectly rebelling against God shaking your fist at God. You even have no faith in the will of God  being attained for your life nor will it be.. the best you can hope for or  expect next thus is the painful divorce.

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NOW THAT IS SO TRUE WHEN SHE WAS WRONG IN SUCH A VITAL AREA HER AND MANY OTHERS THEY ARE NEXT WRONG IN SO MANY CAUSE THEY ARE STILL BEING LED BY THE SPIRIT OF DEMONS AND NOT THE HOLY SPIRIT. BAD PEOPLE SEEM SO READY TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE’S SAME FAULTS BUT NOT THEIR OWN.. In Luke 13:16, Christ cast a demon out of a ‘daughter of Abraham’. Beware always ofmen and women, bullies, tormentors, control freaks, persons, civil and public servants, politicians, pastors, leaders, elders, who falsely do, will try to enslave you, oppress you, exploit you even while they claim they are proclaiming the truth, democracy, trying to help you, etc., https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/…/the-possession/

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Is 51:23 ..your tormentors {and} oppressors, those who said to you, Bow down, that we may ride {or} tread over you; and you have made your back like the ground and like the street for them to pass over Is 55:7 Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return to the Lord, and He will have love, pity, {and} mercy for him, and to our God, for He will multiply to him His abundant pardon. 8 For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord. 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.

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I am an expert on being hated by others, my family now too, was hated by everyone in my family for decades too”.. Often   it is the Joseph syndrome, who was hated by his own brothers, it is a false  control, a false power play, a controlling spirit. The Best way to deal with  abuse is to shout rape in public at the top of your vice, call the police, tell  others about it.. post it on the net.. that is what I do continually too… cause  it works

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Teenager’s regret,

Teenagers often use social networking sites like MySpace to post intimate personal information they come to regret, as it lets future employers (or online predators) learn about sex activity and substance abuse.

 

A Note to the Wise on MySpace Helps
New York Times –  By ERIC NAGOURNEY Teenagers often use social networking sites like MySpace to post intimate personal information they come to regret, as it lets future employers (or online predators) learn about sex activity and substance abuse.
Teens Divulge Risky Behavior on Social Networking Sites Washington Post
Teens Act Risky on Social Sites like MySpace TopNews
CNN – Newsweek – USA Today – WWLP 22News
all 245 news articles »

 

PS: Warning over ‘third hand smoke’
BBC News –  Many people are unaware that even smoking away from babies or pregnant women presents a risk, according to US research. Poisons in cigarette smoke can linger on fabrics or hair, but a survey of 1500 households found that fewer than half of smokers knew …
Study warns about toxins from ‘third-hand smoke’ CTV.ca
Study warns of third-hand smoke Xinhua
Chicago Tribune – Natural News.com – Telegraph.co.uk – KARK
all 76 news articles »

Alcholic’s sleep

Drink Alcohol and Die  is fast becoming North America’s preoccupation, main goal, slogan      

“A 2007 poll by the National Sleep Foundation found that 67 percent of women frequently experience sleep problems and 29 percent use some type of sleep aid at least a few nights a week. Other surveys have consistently found that nearly half again as many women as men complain of insomnia….   Many Doctors tend to assume that the problem is psychological. When 501 physicians were interviewed about how they treated insomnia, they revealed that they asked an average of just two and a half questions, mostly about psychological problems.   National Institutes of Health spent less than $20 million on the condition, although it affects as many as a third of the U.S. adult population. Most of those funds were directed toward treating and managing the problem,” 

Researchers found that people who get more rest are less likely to have calcium clogging their arteries, which can lead to heart attacks and heart failure. The hard “plaques” narrow blood vessels and are a major risk factor for heart disease. Scientists believe that the body is better able to clear the build up from the crucial blood vessels if it gets more rest.  High levels of cholesterol, high blood pressure and smoking are all known to affect the risk of suffering from hardened arteries. Now scientists have proven that the amount of sleep a person regularly gets can also affect their chances of developing the condition.  

 

If you often cannot get enough sleep it can be due to unresolved guilt or unresolved stress, now next do learn to admit it, recognize it, deal with it positively now.. if something is bothering you, put it in writing literately.. so next you can study it, and look at how to spherically deal with it.. or next even go to others for help in dealing with the unresolved guilt or stress first..

 

Face it if you do not eat well you may also feel tired and not get enough sleep.. someone who has had a good meal tends to next sleep quite well. 

 

 You have a responsibility to firstly look after your own well being.. do so now too

 

There is a great risk when being overly ambitious, trying to get rich, and/or  having even acquired wealth that the related stress, lack of sleep can kill you.. 

 

A Mysterious Link Between Sleeplessness and Heart Disease
New York Times – People who don’t get much sleep are more likely than those who do to develop calcifications in their coronary arteries, possibly raising their risk for heart disease, a new study has found. After accounting for various other causes, the researchers concluded that one hour more of sleep per night was associated with a 33 percent decrease in the odds of calcification, comparable to the heart benefit gained by lowering one’s systolic blood pressure by 17 millimeters of mercury.

Proper Sleep May Help Clear Arteries Washington Post
Sleep Longer, Help Your Heart WebMD
Bloomberg – Telegraph.co.uk – U.S. News & World Report – TIME
all 38 news articles »  

  

 

(Eccl 5:12 KJV)  The sleep of a labouring man is sweet, whether he eat little or much: but the abundance of the rich will not suffer him to sleep.

 

(Eccl 5:13 KJV)  There is a sore evil which I have seen under the sun, namely, riches kept for the owners thereof to their hurt.

 

(Eccl 5:14 KJV)  But those riches perish by evil travail: and he begetteth a son, and there is nothing in his hand.

 

(Eccl 5:15 KJV)  As he came forth of his mother’s womb, naked shall he return to go as he came, and shall take nothing of his labour, which he may carry away in his hand.

 

(Eccl 5:16 KJV)  And this also is a sore evil, that in all points as he came, so shall he go: and what profit hath he that hath laboured for the wind?

    

8 Hours of Sleep: a Heart-Healthy Goal for 2009
U.S. News & World Report –  Who would have thought that how we sleep would turn out to be a coronary artery risk factor every bit as important as smoking or high blood pressure?
Expecting a Late Night? Sleep Deprivation Boosts Heart Risk Bloomberg
A Mysterious Link Between Sleeplessness and Heart Disease New York Times
Washington Post – WebMD – BBC News – NPR
all 103 news articles »

Dangerous drug combos pose risk for elderly
Reuters – By Julie Steenhuysen CHICAGO (Reuters) – Older adults in the United States are popping prescription pills, over-the-counter drugs and dietary supplements in record numbers, and in combinations that could be deadly, US researchers said on Tuesday.
Drug Combinations Putting Seniors at Risk Washington Post
Mixing drugs puts more older patients at risk USA Today
WebMD – CNN – FiercePharma – Wall Street Journal Blogs
all 78 news articles »

Even a Little Overweight, Inactivity Hurts the Heart
Washington Post – Dec 22, 2008 By Ed Edelson MONDAY, Dec. 22 (HealthDay News) — Even a few extra pounds and just a little inactivity increased the risk of heart failure in a major study of American doctors.
Study: A Few Extra Pounds = Big Heart Risk CBS News
Just a little extra weight and inactivity contribute to heart failure TopNews
U.S. News & World Report – Chapel Hill News – Medical News Today – HealthNews  

Let’s first be fair to ourselves and others and note that no one thing specifically causes all the cancers, diabetic sick persons, heart problems in the world, rather it is a combination of several different factors starting with our personal ignorance, and the false neglect of   our Bodies.

 

I have said it before and I will say it again Most people still do not take adequate care of their bodies, and have to visit the Doctor next as a result, when an ounce of prevention would have been worth a pound of cure.

   

Heart disease is the leading cause of death in the north America often occurs after years of accumulated, neglected  damage to blood vessels around the organ.

  

Burning a candle at both ends tends to shorten it’s life span, in half.. not getting enough quality sleep  also  affects shortens our life, affects our health.. The actual amount of our sleep affects  directly our personal health, our actual output, productivity if you admit it now or not.. Recent studies have shown that people who sleep five or fewer hours per night are more likely to develop heart trouble and are clearly less productive during the day, and will even unbeneficial gain weight as a result  too, since they have less energy for physical activities. 

   

Experts recommend that adults get between seven and eight hours of sleep a night, teenagers nine hours and children between 10 and 11 hours.  Seniors need more than 8 hours of sleep.

 

More Canadians are trying to drink themselves to sleep, Quebec study finds  Canwest News Service Published: Friday, January 02, 2009 Canadians are spending hundreds of millions of dollars every year self-medicating their insomnia with alcohol, a new study suggests. “We were very surprised to see that so many people use alcohol as a way to promote sleep, particularly because it has more detrimental than beneficial effects on sleep,” says Charles Morin, a professor of psychology at Laval University and one of the authors of the study, published this week in the journal Sleep. Overall, eight per cent of the sample reported using alcohol as a sleep aid. Among people with insomnia, 28 per cent reported self-medicating with alcohol.   The study estimates the total annual costs of the sleep disorder in Quebec alone is $6.5 billion. “We know insomnia is a very prevalent problem, it has a very negative impact on people’s quality of life,” Morin says. “If we can show that it’s 10 times more costly not to treat insomnia because of its impact on absenteeism from work and reduced productivity than it is to treat it, why aren’t we treating it more often?” Part of the problem is that so few people seek help. Morin says some people take sleeping pills, “but there are many more who self-medicate with over-the-counter products or, worse, with alcohol.” The research found the money spent on the use of booze as a sleep aid far exceeds costs associated with visits to doctors and the use of prescription pills and over-the-counter products from antihistamines to herbal teas. “The idea that ‘schnapps before your bedtime’ is good for your sleep might have been right about 100 years ago, as long as it was the occasional schnapps,” says Dr. Adam Moscovitch, medical director of the Canadian Sleep Institute and a University of Calgary professor. “When you knock yourself out as a way of dealing with it, if you can’t shut you mind off in any other way, then alcohol has a very negative effect on your sleep. It deprives you of any of the deep stages of sleep and, once it wears off, it has a rebound effect. So your problem becomes much worse.” Of the $6.5 billion estimated annual costs associated with insomnia in Quebec, the biggest indirect cost by far — $5 billion — was reduced productivity. The highest direct cost — $339.8 million — was money spent on alcohol to promote sleep. By comparison, an estimated $16.5 million was spent on prescription drugs, and $1.8 million for over-the-counter products. The study, based on a random sample of 948 adults, distinguished between those people who drink at the end of the day, and those who use booze specifically to help them sleep, meaning they drink before bedtime, or in the middle of the night. Canadians today live in a stressed society with multiple pressures balancing work and family responsibilities. “One of the things we cut corners on is our sleep,” Moscovitch says. http://www.canada.com/theprovince/news/story.html?id=bbff0ea3-d36d-45bd-ac3b-773697d5442f

  

High personal stress, lack of excercise, Smoking, Alcohol, diabetes, high blood cholesterol,  obesity. etc., now have all been linked directly to the negative calcium buildup in the coronary arteries around the heart. NOT getting enough sleep increases the risk of clogged arteries and heart disease, research has shown.    One’s blood pressure usually dips when people are asleep, which could provide health benefits for those who get more sleep..  a number of studies have suggested that people who sleep less are at greater risk of heart disease and death.. Also “It’s possible, for example, that people who are under more stress may be both sleeping less and at higher risk of heart disease, “If we got those people to sleep more but they still were under a lot of stress, it wouldn’t change their risk of heart disease.” Higher education levels are also associated with both a lower risk of heart disease and a tendency to get more sleep.”  Abnormal sleep patterns also can skew the release of appetite- related hormones, which may contribute to heart disease-related conditions such as obesity and diabetes, earlier studies have shown.

One study  tested 495 men and women aged between 35 and 47 over five years, none of whom had evidence of hardening of the arteries at the start of the study. By the end, however, 12 per cent of the volunteers were sufferers. Calcified arteries were found in 27 per cent of volunteers who slept less than five hours a night. That figure dropped to 11 per cent for participants sleeping five to seven hours, and 6 per cent for those who spent more than seven hours asleep. this study adds to previous research suggesting that getting enough sleep may help to keep our heart and circulation healthy. “Sleep is essential for our body’s ability to repair itself, and  it is important to try and get enough rest. Drinking alcohol late at night, and getting up early can also  mean we’re not getting enough quantity, or quality, of sleep.

Adults who do not get enough sleep often act like cranky babies who also need their sleep in reality..  A long daily grind that shaves away hours of sleep and makes people groggy may also contribute to their risk of heart disease, scientists said.

  

Paradoxically, despite all the dangers, warnings ,  most people continue to drink beyond safe levels on a weekly basis that is more than 14 units of alcohol for women and 21 units for men. At the heart of this strange contradiction is a false belief, best encapsulated by the former Prime Minister in his introduction to the first national alcohol strategy. In the document, Tony Blair assured readers that “alcohol misuse by a small minority” was responsible for the rising levels of social and health harm. In short, problem drinkers are “other people”, spoiling it for the rest of us. In reality this is not so.. Drinking alcohol  has become too common amongst too many people. There is “no failsafe guide” on staying under the legal alcohol limit. It’s also worrying that motorists are continuing to ignore the drink-drive message.  

 

 “Reality too many of the binge drinkers., if not already are likely to become hard core alcoholics. The real problem of alcohol misuse was much wider than previously thought   We are drinking more now than we have ever done since before the First World War. We must transform attitudes towards alcohol.   Alcohol, though legal and embedded in our society, is no ordinary commodity. It is very harmful .. never mind the lies, spins,  distortions of the alcohol industries, alcoholics themselves. 

  

Attitudes To Alcohol Must Change. A health Minister  has called for a change in attitudes towards alcohol by both the public and the drinks industry all year now too. Statistics which show an increase of in the number of people   binge drinking, getting drunk  and that the statistics also show that we still have a long way to deal with this major problem. 81% of people who choose to drink are still exceeding the recommended daily limits. The cost of alcohol misuse to our society is very real. In just over 10 years, there has been a startling 86% increase in the numbers of people dying due to alcohol related harm. “Now, more than ever, we should all be working together to really tackle this issue head on and I believe the drinks industry has a key role to play. Supermarkets in particular sell alcohol far too cheaply. I am extremely disappointed that despite having met with each of the major supermarkets, and received their personal assurances that they take this matter extremely seriously, those words have not as yet translated into meaningful action. ”On the contrary, they are flooded with festive drinks promotions that will only encourage people to indulge further in binge drinking. This, in my view, is totally unacceptable.   Action speaks louder than words. On this occasion, profit is being put before public health.”  “The harsh reality is that although alcohol misuse is known to be damaging and harmful to health and well-being, many people still drink to excess. This must change, and in this respect we all have a collective responsibility in tackling this issue – individuals, society, government and the drinks industry alike.”    http://www.emaxhealth.com/2/63/27952/attitudes-alcohol-must-change.html  http://www.emaxhealth.com/2/63/27943/northern-ireland-reports-adult-drinking-patterns.html 

 

 Perhaps the most worrying aspect of all is  the frightening age shift in alcohol use. A generation or two ago, the first experiments with binge drinking were at university or during National Service. The “victims” of those generations who started drinking in their late teens and 20s were perhaps better able to cope with the consequences than 10-14 year-olds today.

 

 The international evidence is quite clear that the health consequences of alcohol misuse are closely linked to a nation’s total alcohol consumption and the main drivers of this are price and availability. 

For liver disease and other medical conditions, there can be a time lag of 10 or more years from the onset of serious drinking to reaping the consequences. Now we are seeing patients, particularly women, in their 20s with advanced alcoholic liver disease – a real tragedy for their family as well as themselves.” 

Holiday stress, along with getting laid off, has caused too many a person to start drinking heavily and this situation is not unusual.. Sadly when most people think about the upcoming holidays, they think about friends, family, food and good cheer. And for many people, the weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year’s are still particularly difficult. Financial problems are tough to handle for most people at any time, but they can seem overwhelming during this season of giving. Due to unresolved stress Feelings of loneliness, isolation and despair may also intensify but alcohol and drugs are never the answer still. Unfortunately, your friend’s   Many people turn to alcohol falsely believing that it helps them to relax and to cope with stress and worry. And because many people think that New Year’s Eve and similar occasions must always be celebrated with alcohol, it’s often readily available, providing another excuse to drink. It actually will likely cause more problems, and not effectively deal with the ones still not resolved Many people next tend to go to excess, extremes, and   drinking larger amounts of alcohol can increase the risk of a deadly form of liver damage called cirrhosis, heart disease, some types of cancer and injuries. And even moderate drinking can often have harmful consequences in the wrong setting, such as one should not    drink and drive, and drinking alcohol during a pregnancy may  seriously harm a developing baby. Alcohol dependence, also called alcoholism, often  means that if a person tries to stop or cut back on drinking, he or she may experience anxiety, sweating, trembling, trouble sleeping, nausea and vomiting. Drinking can be risky even for people who aren’t dependent on it. It may seriously still interfere with sleep and productivity, strain close relationships and get in the way of spending time with loved ones. It not only also puts the drinker at risk for becoming alcohol dependent as well as developing alcohol-related health problems. Too many people who really do now suffer from a drinking problem claim still don’t believe that anything is wrong. They faley try to justify that they’re drinking to cope with a particularly stressful time. In their mind, suppposedly the basic stress is the unresolved problem, not the drinking. They say they can stop drinking whenever they want, but they don’t. Two wrongs do nto make one right here too.  Denial is a common obstacle that prevents many people from seeking help.

 

More alcohol use is a concern for health-care professionals, since it means more deaths, illness, injuries and hospital visits, meaning added strain on the health-care system, and additional cost. “There’s 60 different ways in which alcohol can cause premature death and illness,”  Too many cops are alcoholic themselves these days it seems too. Showing justice and compassion is rightfully prosecuting all of  the guilty alcohol and drug offenders. Now we know that more people have accident due to road rage, impaired driving, driving under the influence of drugs, alcohol  over speeding too and we still do need to review how much time and resources do the police deal with that firstly? “ 

Despite plunging sales in almost every sector, alcohol sales are on the rise in Ontario, British Columbia and in other provinces over last year . If you drive at twice the legal alcohol limit you are at least 30 times more likely to cause a road crash than a driver who hasn’t been drinking. Alcohol abuse is a problem that is expected to become increasingly common as baby boomers, who have been found to drink more than previous generations, reach age 65 and beyond. ”A lot of folks over 50 are already dealing with diseases associated with aging and medication use that can result in possible complications and drug interactions. And older people who abuse alcohol are consuming an inordinate amount of calories that can displace important nutrients.” It is just a fact, common sense that  “even at lower levels of consumption, alcohol can be problematic for older people.” “Because of an increased sensitivity to alcohol and decreased tolerance as one ages, lower amounts of alcohol can have a bigger effect,” he said. “Older people get into trouble with doses of alcohol that wouldn’t be a problem with a younger person.” Immoderate consumption of alcohol — more than three drinks a day — can be hazardous for people of all ages, but especially so for the elderly, who reach higher levels of blood alcohol faster and maintain them longer than younger people. And people who  have ailments, like chronic liver disease, or take medications, like psychoactive drugs, that would render any amount of alcohol risky.  Alcohol abuse and alcoholism in aging adults  is “a silent epidemic.”  Many older people pursue drinking patterns established earlier in life and may not realize that continuing to drink the same amount of alcohol as they did when they were younger may place them at risk for health problems.” They all rather should be using diet and exercise to reduce cardiac risk; trying alternative relaxation methods to reduce stress,  exercise more ; and, for those who drink, cutting down on the amount of alcohol consumed by mixing it with water, taking an hour to finish one drink and alternating alcohol with nonalcoholic drinks. Because alcohol consumption is a  too common practice, questions about drinking are necessarily part of a general medical health assessment.”   Health experts  warn  that drinking too much alcohol, too fast can be dangerous.  The Department of Health defines binge drinking as over six to eight units of alcohol in an evening for most adults. Their  unit of alcohol depends on the strength of what you’re drinking.  One unit is half a pint of ordinary strength lager, beer, or cider; a 25 ml measure of spirits; or a 125 ml, small glass of wine. Also children often copy their parents when it comes to their attitudes towards alcohol. All parents can reduce the risk to their children, such as avoiding drinking alcohol on every occasion.  Too many  people   are getting into trouble with alcohol. Potential hazards include an increased risk of falls and vehicular accidents, a decline in short-term memory, a worsening of existing health problems and interactions with medications that may diminish the effectiveness of some drugs and increase the toxic effects of others.

  

Nearly twice as many liquor stores, relatively cheap booze and a pricing system that effectively discounts drinks with more alcohol are contributing to a rise in hazardous drinking, says B.C.’s provincial health officer. The same is true in Alberta and other provinces. A 2003 study found that 79 per cent of youth in school reported drinking at least once by age 17, and 20 per cent of those reported binge drinking three or more days in the previous month. While booze prices have risen in recent years, they have not kept pace with other consumer goods, a trend likely to continue with more competition among stores. Kendall recommends that pricing should reflect alcohol content, with discounts for low-alcohol alternatives and a price premium for stronger drinks. Current pricing creates “clear price incentives for consumers to choose higher-strength alcohol products in all major beverage classes,” As of 2007, government liquor stores accounted for 39 per cent of B.C. sales, with private stores up to 33 per cent. Bars, clubs and restaurants served most of the remainder. B.C.’s biggest average booze consumption occurs in the Interior Health Authority region, which includes the Okanagan and Kootenay regions, at 11 litres of pure alcohol per person per year. Vancouver Island was second at 10.71 litres, and also had the largest increase, 15.2 per cent between 2002 and 2007. Northern Health region was third at 9.73 litres per person, followed by Vancouver Coastal at 8.61 and Fraser, the lowest at 7.03. The Central Coast region of Vancouver Coastal has the highest consumption in the province, 13.69 litres per person in 2007.

http://www.bclocalnews.com/bc_north/lakesdistrictnews/news/36589419.html

 

More drunk drivers,  motorists are hitting the sauce before hitting the road this holiday season too. About 1 percent of  the drivers stopped are charged  with impaired driving offences during the generally only one month long  Police province wide drunk drivers check stop campaigns . Sadly there are plenty more drivers who often still do drank like fish  get away during the rest of the year due to the limited number of police officers participating in check stops the rest of the year. We do thus know that very few of the actual people who are impaired and on the roads are caught by police. ”The average person who is prepared to drive while impaired will do it about 80 times a year, repeat offenders causing the most problems.” “Drunk drivers are still; not  getting the message, quite frankly, “The average blood-alcohol reading of those charged was .165, twice the legal limit of .08. The highest reading was .25, more than three times the limit, ” The drivers range between 19 and 59 years old. The average age is 35 but a dozen are over 40. (Older drivers) too seem to be more set in their habits and  risk-takers also tend to be   resistant to all education campaigns,” And during the same period over generally ten times more people now are being charged with failing to to wear seatbelts and Highway Traffic Act offences over impaired driving, even though it is drunk drivers,  that causes many of the accidents?  All now still Unsatisfactory.

  

In 2006, 232 Ontarians were killed in traffic accidents in which alcohol was a factor.  “We’ve had an increased number of impaired driving fatalities in Ontario though we’re still seeing a downward trend in Ontario,” is still not enough policing here.

 

An Australian study estimates that about half of all traffic accidents in Australia may be due to road rage and most of the others related to alcohol, impaired driving and yet the police falsely tend to pursue revenue generating speeding traffic tickets still and why?   Road rage is a relatively serious act; it can  be seen as a violation of human and property rights , an endangerment of  other’s personal well being, security. 

  

Now I have said it for over 3 decades in writing to all too so now call it what you want but police services generally  it is not about public safety, for it is  a self employment, empire  building, a false money grab, revenue generation, hidden taxes..  for if  the cops, the mad RCMP  were now really worried about public safety THEY WOULD FIRSTLY ARREST THEIR OWN KIND, THE BAD COPS WHO OFTEN DRIVE HOME DRUNK AFTER WORK, COMING HOME FROM THE POLICE TAVERN, and they would ALSO FIRSTLY  go after the people who drive reckless, who  fail to stop at the stop signs, or the  traffic stop lights, and go seriously after the impaired drunken drivers, deal with the unsafe cars whose brakes are squealing cause they need to be repaired.. etc. Cops , civil and public servants too often become perverse persons, unacceptable bullies still too. You and I still do not have to accept such crap.

http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2008/12/22/cops-lie-too/

  

PS:

Study: Smoke-free laws may cut heart attack hospitalizations
CNN – 14 hours ago
By Miriam Falco ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) — Implementing smoke-free policies can lead to a fewer hospitalizations resulting from heart attacks, according to a new study published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Study links smoking bans, heart attack rate Greeley Tribune
Our View: Smoking ban, one year later Northwest Herald
KKTV 11 News – The Associated Press – KDRV – Norman Transcript
all 460 news articles »

see also http://stayinhealth.wordpress.com/2008/11/21/anti-suicide-watch/

 

  

Coping with Personal unresolved Stress

  

Siblings, Most adults too  often do fight for a number of reasons.
-They fight because they want a parent’s or other person’s attention, especially where the parent has only so much time, attention and patience to give.
-They fight because they are selfish, jealous: “He got a new bike. I didn’t. They must love him more than they love me.”
-They even fight over ordinary teasing which is a way of testing the effects of behavior and words on another person: “He called me…” “But she called me…first.”
-They fight because they are growing up in a competitive, aggressive, self centered, worldly, dog eat dog,   society that falsely teaches them that to get it, to win is to be better than to be the loser. “I saw it first.” “I beat you to the water.”

Lessons about jealousy, competition, sharing and kindness are difficult to learn, and, indeed, even many adults still still haven’t learned them. Too many adolescent may not recognize, admit still  their needs or may be too embarrassed to express them verbally, so their ongoing fighting with siblings, others is a way to get their need personal  attention which often next  actually increase in adolescence life.

A Parent’s Checklist
As a parent, do you:
-Set aside some time to be alone with each child?
-Recognize that each child is different?
-Make sure your adolescents realize they are each unique and have a special set of strengths?
-Praise adolescents for being who they are and not just for what they can do?
-Avoid initiating competition among children?
-Realize adolescents and younger children need to be given the right also to decide not to share at least some of the time?
-Be sure older children are not usually forced to give in to younger ones because “he’s little” or “she doesn’t know better?”
-Talk positively to the adolescents about their fighting?
-Falsely encourage, promote the sibling fighting?

 

11 Tips for Coping with Personal unresolved Stress

 

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference
 
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

The prayers of Saint Francis of Assisi

 
1. First Concentrate on the present.   You cannot change the past, but you can work on having a better future
Don’t needlessly, continually  dwell on the past or worry about a future you cannot control. Have a positive and not a a negative, defeatist attitude now as well

 

2. Consider, Admit and deal with  your  past, present  problems one at a time.  First personally define, Write down those things that Bother you, do Number them, and do decide what you can and cannot do abut  them too . Prioritize as well Decide which ones are still important and which ones are no longer important to deal with.
If there are lots of items  you want to change, start by focusing on one or two of the most bothersome or dangerous ones. Don’t try to make too many changes all at once. Don’t merely lump your complaints,  problems together, it can make them seem overwhelming.

 
Remember
Anger and aggression are different. Anger is a temporary emotional state caused by frustration; while aggression is often an attempt to hurt a person or to destroy property.
Anger and aggression do not have to be dirty words. We must be careful to tell the difference between behavior that indicates emotional problems and behavior that is normal. Convert aggression to assertiveness, actions done in love as well.

 

**Writing. There is evidence that writing about stressful events and circumstances may help relieve stress and improve diseases linked to stress.  Write for 10 to 15 minutes a day about an unresolved stressful events and how you felt. One way to use writing to deal with stress is to keep a stressed out journal. This can really help you identify the sources of stress in your life so that you can find better ways to cope with them. 

 

3. Take positive action.  Do review all of your options, such as writing a letter of complaint to the right party, in detail reporting the matter so you do not have to have it repeated on you.
Make sure you have realistic expectations, goals, approaches too. Once you’ve decided what you want to do about a problem, act consistently quickly ,  firmly and follow up on it too.

 

4. Don’t   merely complain about your problems . Continually complaining is wasteful, and seriously for a stat don’t expect only others alone to resolve them, deal with them yourself .
Talk things over with your family and good friends. Look for the positive, possible, practical  solutions.

 

5. Occupy yourself and your mind.  Determine what you can and cannot do, how much time you should spend on it, also do go on with your life

 
Social interaction, alternative activities can help during a time of stress by not continually focusing on the problem

 

*Doing something you enjoy. A meaningful activity helps relieve stress, tension. This can be a hobby, such as gardening; a creative activity, such as writing, crafts, or art; or doing volunteer work for a cause that benefits others. Playing with and caring for pets also can help you relax. Although you may feel that you are too busy, making time to do something you like can help you relax and make you more productive in other areas of your life. 

Good Music therapy can relax your body, improve your mood, and change the pace of your day.   

 

Good Humor therapy Clean Jokes, Comedy, are becoming widely accepted as a tool for reducing stress and boosting the body’s immune system.

 

6. Don’t just blame the other people for your problems and their failure at  Resolving them – be an active part of the solution yourself if need be
Frustrated hostility will accomplish nothing and can only make and feel worse.

 

7. Exercise every day.
Go for a walk and concentrate on your surroundings instead of  just on your problems.

 

8. Maintain a daily routine. even if you are unemployed, retired, but do not get into a continual rut as well
I have often helped many a poor, depressed person, not by any medications, but by  simply by changing their daily normal activity routine, and next by taking them for a drive into the country, or taking them to see a good film, a comedy, or Giving them some good movies to watch, or by me taking them to a fine food restaurant, or by me taking them for a long  walk through unfamiliar surroundings.. and it worked.. it actually next had broke them out of their long term depression.
 
Can’t change positively   the person? try first changing their surroundings, environment temporarily?
A familiar pattern of  daily activates can decrease stress and increase your sense of security. Be willing to make a change once a while as well.

 

9. Avoid taking your problems to bed. Try to forgive and forget.
Clear your mind of the days thoughts so you can get a good night sleep.

 

10. Talk to your adequate health care provider, helper. Pick and choose, for remember there are still good and bad professionals.
She/he can help you find the right agency or person(s) to assist you in coping with stress. 
 

With God on your side you will always be a winner

 

St. Francis of Assisi’s prayer in praise of God

 
You are holy, Lord, the only God,
and Your deeds are wonderful.
You are strong.
You are great.
You are the Most High.
You are Almighty.
You, Holy Father are King of heaven and earth.
You are Three and One, Lord God, all Good.
You are Good, all Good, supreme Good,
Lord God, living and true.
You are love. You are wisdom.
You are humility. You are endurance.
You are rest. You are peace.
You are joy and gladness.
You are justice and moderation.
You are all our riches, and You suffice for us.
You are beauty.
You are gentleness.
You are our protector.
You are our guardian and defender.
You are our courage. You are our haven and our hope.
You are our faith, our great consolation.
You are our eternal life, Great and Wonderful Lord,
God Almighty, Merciful Saviour.
 
do see also 

https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/12/28/young-offenders-sibling-rivalry-war/

http://stayinhealth.wordpress.com

 

 

Resolving the Conflicts requires still :

 

Admitting, recognizing the stress issue.
Effectively dealing with the issue in a positive manner… For the matters left on their own to be resolved   tend to get worse and not better

 

The instinctive, natural way it seems is merely to immediacy, feel anger, to  express our anger and to to respond  immediately aggressively as well.. not much self control obvious.. as opposed to a planed, deliberate, calculated, thought our approach.

 

When you are angry, you probably feel:

 

This often Aggressive Anger is a  response to  our perceived threats; it inspires powerful, often visible  feelings and behaviors. But we can’t physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and for most of us our own common sense places valid limits on how far our anger can take us.

 

Stop. Consider the consequences. Think before you act. Try to find positive or neutral explanations for what that person did that provoked you.  Learn to recognize what sets you off and how anger feels to you. Learn to think through the benefits of controlling your anger and the consequences of losing control. Control your own  behavior, don’t let anger control you.

 

Identify the problem, problem behavior. Isolate it from the emotions associated with it and evaluate it.  How often does it happen and how long can  it go on?  What is the purpose of the behavior? If it tears down another person, it is abusive.  If you suspect abuse, it’s important to act quickly to stop it. Do not hesitate to bring it into the open, to expose it next to all for what it really is, unacceptable abuse. Get enough fact and feeling information to assess the problem accurately. Restate the problem to make sure you understand it clearly. Figure out alternative solutions to the problem.

 

Anger management  reducing  both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can’t always get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions, and express, act in a positive manner, for the good of all.

 

Set ground rules to prevent emotional abuse, and stick to them. For example, make it clear you will not put up with name-calling, teasing, belittling, intimidating,   provoking, cheating, lying, stealing, bullying, physical abuses, intimidations and you will firmly deal with it too. Living with bad, fighting adolescent siblings is not pleasant. Clearly show all of the  adolescents the cost of fighting is higher than the falsely expected reward.

 

Next  tell of the trouble makers, bad adolescents that while it’s normal to have disagreements, the constant fighting upsets you  and you  value peace at home. You also can  can say they will no longer be the judge and jury over the siblings’, adolescents  disputes, wars  and you merely will not stand for it, put up with it and stand by the resolution with firm action!

 

Timing: use a controlled, well thought out  response to Control the event on your own time, and don’t merely be hastily suckered into facing, dealing with it unprepared. Also now do Give yourself a regular break from the conflicts, stressful situations. Make sure always too you have some “personal time” scheduled for times of the day, the place  that you know are particularly stressful.  One’s Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the set “trap” you seem again to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap. Sometimes it’s our unavoidable immediate surroundings that give us continual, ongoing, unavoidable  cause for irritation and fury. If need be do next Remove yourself permanently from the environment, for your own good health firstly . One does not have to put with with these mostly false conflicts forever.

Set clear consequences for broken rules.  What will happen if they break the rules? For example, one husband told his wife he would no longer spoil his wife, indulge in all of her false whims, desires, but would not merely give her two  alternative choices beforehand, one would lead to a reward, one whole lead to negative personal consequences for her.  Choice one – resolve the conflicts peacefully, amiably.  Or if she continued to cause false problems, fighting he would merely fire her, terminate the relationship, divorce the marriage. He next  was forced to take the second alternative.

 

“One father reported that every time a fight started, he would say to his adolescents, “You’re fighting. I’m leaving.” And then he would go out to work in the yard or take a drive or run an errand — but he simply walked away from the fighting. A mother used a similar tactic. When the fighting began, she said, “Call me when it’s over.” Then she went to her bedroom, slamming the door to emphasize her point. Another parent made his adolescents leave the house when they began fighting. “

In each of these cases, the parents, adolescents  demonstrated that their ongoing fighting would not get their attention and they would not get involved in the fight.

 

Do not hesitate to Remove yourself  from the problem behavioral  person, or remove the root cause of the problem child , adult

 

Instead of doing nothing, which postpones the inevitable anyway. Seek, get sound advice, the valid  opinion of others too. Make a plan, and check your progress along the way. Resolve to give it your best, but also not to punish yourself if an answer doesn’t come right away. If you can approach the conflicts, fight  it with your best intentions and efforts and make a serious attempt to face it head-on, you will be less likely to lose patience and fall into all-or-nothing thinking, even if the problem does not get solved right away.

Remember, you can’t eliminate anger-and it wouldn’t be a good idea if you could. In spite of all your efforts, things will happen that will cause you anger; and sometimes it will be justifiable anger. Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can’t change that; but you can change the way you let such events affect you. Controlling effectively your angry responses can keep them from making you even more unhappy in the long run. 
 
Negative Results of unchecked Sibling Rivalry or Sibling Abuse : Thousands of adult survivors of sibling abuse can readily tell of the far-reaching negative effects that such unchecked behavior has had on them as children and even as adults. For instance, one person, reflecting back on their relationship with   a brother wrote: “I believed EVERYTHING my brother told me. Even if it was lies to make himself look better.  Children and adults often still do wrongfully abuse a brother or sister  to falsely try to  gain power and control.

 

 

If you notice the following signs in a person  over a period of time, the potential for increased unacceptable physical  violence next also exists:

or failing to acknowledge  the abuse of others, 

When you recognize these unacceptable future increased violence warning signs in someone else,   Hoping that someone else will deal with the situation is still false way out.

Be safe. Don’t spend time alone with people who show any of these warning signs and  remove the person from the situation that’s setting them off.

The most important thing to remember is don’t go it alone. Expose the matter to others as well.

a history of violent or aggressive, abnormal . offensive behavior
serious drug or alcohol use
gang membership or strong desire to be in a gang
access to or fascination with weapons, especially guns
threatening others regularly
trouble controlling feelings like anger
withdrawal from friends and normal, usual activities
visibly feeling rejected or alone
having been a victim of bullying, or now being a bully themselves
poor school or job performance
history of discipline problems or frequent run-ins with authority
feeling constantly disrespected
failing to acknowledge the feelings  rights of others

The angered people tend to jump to-and act on-conclusions, and some of those conclusions can be very inaccurate. The first thing to do if you’re in a heated discussion is slow down and think through your responses. Don’t say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow down and think carefully about what you want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.  Listen, too, to what is underlying cause of your  anger. It’s natural to get defensive when you’re criticized, but don’t fight back. Instead, listen to what’s underlying the words: the message that this person might feel neglected and unloved. It may take a lot of patient questioning on your part, and it may require some breathing space, but don’t let your anger-or a partner’s-let a discussion spin out of control. Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.

It’s best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to deal with and to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge. 

Remind yourself that merely getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won’t make you feel better (and may actually make you feel worse). You need to focus on the problem and deal with it effectively;

Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it’s justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic, Such as ” you’re just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Normal  people tend expect : fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness, congenital agreements. The first best attitude to bring to such a problem situation, then, is not to focus on solely now finding the solution, but rather firstly on how you handle and face the problem.

We face a choice  to deal with their angry feelings  such as expressing our anger, suppressing our outrage, and submissiveness, calming Ourselves, controlling our outward behavior, but also controlling our internal responses, taking steps to lower our heart rate, calm yourself down, and letting  the emotional feelings subside.

Assertiveness is expressing our anger in love ,without hurting others. Being assertive here doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.

Anger turned inward may cause next  hypertension, high blood pressure,  a self pity complex, or depression.

” Unexpressed specific anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven’t learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren’t likely to have many successful relationships. ”

muscle tension
accelerated heartbeat
a “knot” or “butterflies” in your stomach
changes in your breathing
trembling
goose bumps
flushed in the face

You can reduce the rush of adrenaline that’s responsible for your heart beating faster, your voice sounding louder, and your fists clenching if you:

Take a few slow, deep breaths and concentrate on your breathing.
Imagine yourself at a better place, the beach, by a lake, or anywhere that makes you feel calm and peaceful.
Try other thoughts or actions that have helped you relax in the past.

“Calm down.”
“I don’t need to prove myself.”
“I’m not going to let him/her get to me.”

Merry Christmas

 

(Isa 9:6 KJV)  For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. 7 Of the increase of his government and peace there shall be no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever.

My readers top topic of interest this year in preference order.

Topic

 

-Healing Evangelist Todd Bentley
-Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship Church dispute 
-Christian and Missionary Alliance Denomination dispute

-Class action suit against   dirty, bad  BCE, Sympatico 

 

-The too common abusive silent treatment 
-Verbal abuse is always unacceptable too.
Control freaks

-alcoholism the unacceptable sin 
– The Tithe 
-Exemplary versus Bad Church pastors, bad deacons, bad elders 
-Laying of hands, Impartation, Breathe  of the Holy spirit, Trinity, the anointing, Pentecostalism

 

-Great links, great Christian literature, Bible versed wallpapers

–God can speak to us today in many ways? Hearing God!
Deliberate unforgiveness                  

 

-How many rich people in Calgary, Edmonton
-About me
-Messianic Judaism, Jews

    

http://witnessed.wordpress.com/

 

it is not good for the man to dwell alone

God says ‘that it is not good for the man to dwell alone’ (Gen 2:18), therefore he created a wife for Adam.

 I agree  a man needs to find a wife and a woman needs to find a husband. Paul says that if an unmarried person cannot exercise self-control 1 they should marry. (1Co 7:8-9 ESV) To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. (9) But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion.  Paul says something along similar lines later in Ch 7. (1Co 7:36-37 ESV) If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry–it is no sin. (37) But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well.

(1 Th 4:3-7 NIV) It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; {4} that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, {5} not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; {6} and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. {7} For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.

(Titus 2:6 NIV) Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled.

(1 Cor 7:2 NIV) But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. \

(Prov 18:22 NIV) He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.

 In 1 Cor 6:12, Paul says ‘”Everything is permissible for me”–but I will not be mastered by anything’. If we become slaves to a bad habit, then we are not in control of our body.

(1 Cor 6:12-13 NIV) “Everything is permissible for me”–but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me”–but I will not be mastered by anything. {13} “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food”–but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

(1 Cor 7:1-4 NIV) Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. {2} But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. {3} The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. {4} The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.

(Phil 4:7-8 NIV) And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. {8} Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

In 1 Th 4:4-5 Paul tells us that “each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God”. Also in 2 Tim 2:22 Paul’s advice to Timothy, is to flee the evil desires of youth, and a positive command is introduced , which is to pursue righteousness, faith love and peace.

(Titus 2:6) Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled.

2 Tim 2:22 Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

(1 Cor 6:15-20 NIV) Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! {16} Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” {17} But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. {18} Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. {19} Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; {20} you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
Again the problem here is that the Corinthians were going to a prostitute and becoming one body, or one flesh with the prostitute. Paul argues that our bodies are a member of Christ himself, and that we should not unite them with a prostitute. He is sinning against his body by uniting it with a prostitute. This is certainly not the case with masturbation. However perhaps 1 Cor 6:19-20 are more relevant to masturbation, we are not our own, we were bought at a price, therefore we should honour God with our body. It is hard to see that masturbation is honoring to God, while sex within marriage is.

(Mat 5:28 NIV) But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

(Job 31:1 NIV) “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.

(Mat 5:29 NIV) If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

(Phil 4:8 NIV) Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

(Prov 24:16 NIV) for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity.

James 4:8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

(Mat 18:21-22 NIV) Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” {22} Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

(Heb 2:17-18 NIV) For this reason he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. {18} Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted. (Heb 3:1 NIV) Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess.

(Heb 12:4 NIV) In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.

(1 Cor 10:13 NIV) No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

(Prov 5:18-20 NIV) May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. {19} A loving doe, a graceful deer– may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. {20} Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man’s wife?

(1 Tim 4:1-5 NIV) The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. {2} Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. {3} They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. {4} For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, {5} because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.

1Co 7:33-34 ESV But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, (34) and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.

1Co 7:12-16 ESV To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. (13) If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. (14) For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. (15) But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. (16) Wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?

(1 Cor 6:13 NIV) “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food”–but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 

 see also https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/07/17/the-false-divorce-incentives/

http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/08/21/todd-bentley-someone-has-to-say-it-to-you/

My Most Popular Post in The Focus on the Family

 

Popularity for all days in descending order

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Verbal abuse is always unacceptable too.
Fret not!
Perhaps the best thing for preserving marriage
there still can be a good life after divorce
Abstainers
The danger of excessive
Marriage
Focusing on the Family
Changing yourself first, positively
The too common abusive silent treatment
Messed up…
The false divorce incentives
Homosexuality

 

It is no secret that so many Marriages are messed up even in Christian homes now too, 30 percent divorce rates,  due to Laziness, Unrealistic expectations, Spoiled brats, and Uncontrolled sexual lusts, Viewing and reading porn.. for sure it seems undeniably firstly the parents have failed in properly raising their children to deal with life, and so next next have the schools and the churches too , when even most even evangelical pastors as we know  are inadequate, not spirit filled, commit adultery and counsel divorce wrongfully too

  

 

 

Do see also

http://b.1asphost.com/freelygiven/marriages.htm

http://pbulow.tripod.com/adultery.html

http://pbulow.tripod.com/polygamy.htm

http://pbulow.tripod.com/Divorce.html 

http://pbulow.tripod.com/

http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/hidden-agendas/

http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/the-pretender-imposter-wolf-in-sheep-clothing/   

 

https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/

The false divorce incentives

(Luke 14:31 KJV)  Or what king, going to make war against another king, sitteth not down first, and consulteth whether he be able with ten thousand to meet him that cometh against him with twenty thousand? 32  Or else, while the other is yet a great way off, he sendeth an ambassage, and desireth conditions of peace.

 

 (James 4:5 KJV)  Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy?

 If you still do have a God shaped vacuum that is unfilled, then no other things, no relationships or careers, goals, next will satisfy you, not any personal, social, community relationships..

 

Note this reality.. like it or not.. believe it or not..

 

Both fornicators and adulterers are excluded from Heaven. They are pursuing vanities as far as God is concerned..

 

“Have you not known that the unrighteous the reign of God shall not inherit? Be not led astray; neither whoremongers, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, the reign of God shall inherit. And certain of you were these! But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were declared righteous, in the name of the Lord Jesus, and in the Spirit of our God” (1 Cor 6:9).

 

 Some of the reasons that relationships and even marriages fail are unrealistic expectations, greed, lies,  laziness and a spouse has false personal values, false assumptions, -the myth of the greener grass, and also the inablity to handle the sheer pace, stress of  of life. And for sure sexual infidelity will tend to kill a marriage, be an immediate grounds for a divorce too.

 

The Marriages that slide downward go through these stages: romance, reality, resentment, unforgiveness – bitterness  and rebellion – divorce.

still excludes the common realty also that bad friends, bad relatives, others do work hard to break up the marriages too….

Key steps that help to break this cycle and to change marriages are for a start…

–First, open your life fully to God. (Luke 6:27). Without God in control of your life these days it is likely your marriage ALSO  next will fail

-Second, follow God’s ways continually. (Ephesians 5:1)

– Honor each other: be faithful and committed, recognize the dignity and special worth of all others, admire, affirm and celebrate each other, and avoid continual fault-finding.

Our personal beliefs and feelings toward people tend to follow what we believe about them. A judgment is MY interpretation of someone’s life at a point in time, it still doesn’t give the whole picture and becomes a label by which I narrowly view and interpret that person. What are some reasons some people too often “put-down” or judge  others rather than affirm, accept them with Christ’s unconditional love? They firstly do not have the real love themselves. They likely come from troubled, divorced homes or are in a troubled marriage, home.

“A love that cherishes is patient and kind (1 Cor. 13:4). To be patient means “to take a long time to boil” and is the opposite of rudeness and irritability. Patience celebrates  our strengths and validates our uniqueness. Kindness involves being gentle, sensitive, considerate, thoughtful and helpful to make life easier for the other person. 

Love delights…

Such love enjoys giving attention to the other, spending time together. (Eccl. 9:9) Such love enjoys expressing affection to the other, including sexual intimacy for those who are married.(1 Corinthians 7:2-5). Such love enjoys growing spiritually with the other, together opening our lives to God  and praying, together getting to know Him better and together following His ways.

(2 Peter 3:18).

“How incredible it would be if in all of our relationships–with God, with our husbands and wives, with our families and with our friends–we could experience great delight!” (Schorr Line, May 29, 2009) Centre Street Church is affiliated with the Evangelical Missionary Church of Canada  http://www.cschurch.ca/

 

Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.  (1 Cor 13:4 KJV)  Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,  5   Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

(1 Cor 13:2 KJV)  And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. 3  And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

 

Contrary to the devil’s and lawyers lies, only the lawyer’s and the courts are those persons who tend to get richer, profit generally from a divorce. On top of that Divorce persons tend to have a shorter life span, and more health problems as well compared to the others.

 

A spouse also tends not to file for divorce unless certain conditions are met..

– The think they can get richer by a divorce.. but 2 can live cheaper than one..

– They have a substitute mate in mind, whom they should have consulted first, cause often they have no intention ever of marrying them too..

– The have the false support of their family, mother generally, brother and sister. Even often a false pastor, a false church now too.

– They have adequate cash at hand to pay for the initially lawyer’s fees. you would be surprised how many spouses still keep a hidden bank account from the other spouse, eventually the other spouse finds out and this causes really deep bitterness, anger, resentment, even unforgiveness too.

There’s no doubt there are abusive spouses, male and females.. but often one spouses provokes the other one into an abusive response knowingly  beforehand as well..

Still there are no real spousal winners in broken home, a broken marriage generally now still too.

Both men and women often still are no angels.

Can a true professing Christian now file for divorce? and why do so many Christians still do get divorced? see also http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2009/01/02/divorce-and-remarriage-in-the-christian-church/

For the last 5 years the above post has been one of my most popular on the net too

 

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Can a true professing Christian now file for divorce? and why do so many Christians still do get divorced?

 There is clearly only one legitimate grounds for divorce for all believers, it is when  one an unrepentant spouse had committed adultery and refuses to repent… yes then divorce is mandatory here.. if they repent it is not! 

 

But  as far as unbelievers, we do not have to judge them they have been already judged by God and are going to Hell unless they repent (Rom 2:16 KJV)  In the day when God shall judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ according to my gospel.

 

(1 Cor 5:12 KJV)  For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? (1 Cor 5:13 KJV)  But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.

(1 Cor 6:1 KJV)  Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints? 2  Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? 3  Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life? 4  If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church. 5  I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? no, not one that shall be able to judge between his brethren? 6  But brother goeth to law with brother, and that before the unbelievers. 7  Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded? 8  Nay, ye do wrong, and defraud, and that your brethren. 9  Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 10  Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. 11  And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. 12  All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.

Yes, murder, divorce, adultery, stealing, drunkeness too and lying are all wrong;  All are a sin. John tells us, “Whoever commits sin also commits lawlessness, and sin is lawlessness” (I John 3:4). Sin is the breaking of God’s commands, so, yes, breaking any command of God is sinful. Sin is seprating  oneself from God, into an initial hell and eventually into an eternal hell even by one’s own free will choice as well.  Sins can be repeatedly committed to the point that a person becomes numb to the guilt of violating God’s law. (Prov 21:29 KJV)  A wicked man hardeneth his face: but as for the upright, he directeth his way. (Prov 28:14 KJV)  Happy is the man that feareth alway: but he that hardeneth his heart shall fall into mischief. (Prov 29:1 KJV)  He, that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy. (Rom 9:18 KJV)  Therefore hath he mercy on whom he will have mercy, and whom he will he hardeneth.

   “Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron” (I Timothy 4:1-2). A word used for this state is “licentiousness,” which has been briefly defined as being deluded to think that you have a license to sin. A related word, “lasciviousness” is defined as the state where a person doesn’t care what God or man thinks of his actions. Generally these words are applied to sexual sins, but any sin can develop into licentiousness. “For certain persons have crept in unnoticed, those who were long beforehand marked out for this condemnation, ungodly persons who turn the grace of our God into licentiousness and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ” (Jude 4).

For true Christian believers a mutually agreed temporary marital separation is also permissible but not a divorce.. why not a divorce.. cause they will do the same wrong things definitely in their next marriage too.

(1 Cor 7:10 KJV)  And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:11   But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

(1 Cor 7:12 KJV)  But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.

(1 Cor 7:13 KJV)  And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

(1 Cor 7:15 KJV)  But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

The Bible says that Adultery is God’s trap, punishment for those whom he is upset at.. and the same Bible says that God does still punishes people even for their sins even if they have been forgiven as a deterrent for them not to sin anymore.

 

 

 Do see also

https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/11/23/biblical-divorce/

  

http://morechristlike.com/documents/DivorceMcFallview.pdf

http://witnessed.wordpress.com/2008/11/16/are-you-a-real-christian-or-a-pretender-imposter-still/

http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/10/02/how-to-keep-oneself-away-from-sexual-transgressions/

https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/12/24/why-the-high-divorce-rates/

http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2009/01/02/divorce-and-remarriage-in-the-christian-church/

http://postedat.wordpress.com/2010/10/03/there-are-still-negative-personal-consequences-for-following-after-vanities/

http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/12/25/christian-missionary-alliance/

http://b.1asphost.com/freelygiven/marriages.htm

http://pbulow.tripod.com/adultery.html

http://pbulow.tripod.com/polygamy.htm

http://pbulow.tripod.com/Divorce.html

http://pbulow.tripod.com/