My readers top topic of interest this year in preference order.

Topic

 

-Healing Evangelist Todd Bentley
-Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship Church dispute 
-Christian and Missionary Alliance Denomination dispute

-Class action suit against   dirty, bad  BCE, Sympatico 

 

-The too common abusive silent treatment 
-Verbal abuse is always unacceptable too.
Control freaks

-alcoholism the unacceptable sin 
– The Tithe 
-Exemplary versus Bad Church pastors, bad deacons, bad elders 
-Laying of hands, Impartation, Breathe  of the Holy spirit, Trinity, the anointing, Pentecostalism

 

-Great links, great Christian literature, Bible versed wallpapers

–God can speak to us today in many ways? Hearing God!
Deliberate unforgiveness                  

 

-How many rich people in Calgary, Edmonton
-About me
-Messianic Judaism, Jews

    

http://witnessed.wordpress.com/

 

my teenager smokes, does not listen to me

  

Many persons complain that my teenager smokes, does not listen to me..  obviously he also does not listen to God , the teenager does not know how to communicate with God now next too. You still need to pray for Him that God will deal with him..  

   

(Prov 22:6 KJV)  Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

 

Understandably too many persons are discontented unhappy today with themselves ,and others and they basically have a God shaped vacuum that they are trying to fill in with alcohol, bad drugs, verbal abuse , power, control, sex, smoking or whatever, and none of this counterfeit fulfillment will even help to make for their own personal lasting happiness too.

 

Well in love you also do need to set down some rules, and hold to them  such as if you live under my roof, eat my bread, you abide by my rules.. or you do not get to eat, sleep here.. and you need to deal with their theft likely too, such as where are they getting the money for the cigarettes..

 

Being nice. kind, friendly  to a really bad person  is still also a complete waste of time, for they will not change their negative behaviors on their own, they see   no reasons to do so now still too. Sad but true. We cannot never control a bad person, a drug addict or an alcoholic, but we can learn all about it and learn firstly to control our own behavior, appropriate reponses –including how we should behave in the relationship with the  sick and suffering and /or possibly manipulative addict or alcoholic, abuser..

 

 

I personally had never smoked because my parents had never let me and when I grew up and became an adult next I saw no good reason to smoke,  saw next only plenty of bad ones, such it is bad for your health, shortens your life too.

 

Establish Boundaries, Set Limits, Set detachement.  One example of setting a boundary is telling a close friend, aloved one  that you prefer they not be around you if they are smoking,  drunk or high. Notice that it is specific deamnd, and you have to sit down and communicate this type of request explicitly with that someone. Setting a boundary like this is difficult because there is this tendency to hurt other’s feelings. But that is part of what is keeping you ineffective– your caring more about this person’s feelings than your own personal well being. Setting boundaries is about putting your own personal well being and even that of others first, and letting that be a guiding example of how to live. You know you are setting effective boundaries when you are taking back control of your own life firstly and starting to regain your own sanity–instead of being all wrapped up in the problems of a struggling smoker, rebel, drug addict or alcoholic.

 

“Here are some things that you can do in order to practice detachment with the struggling pervert in your life:
-Don’t do things that they should be doing themselves.
-Don’t bend over backwards to rescue them or save them from natural consequences.
-Don’t cover up for their mistakes or embarrassing situations.
-Don’t rescue them from crisis or financial situations.
-Don’t try to fix them.
-Let go of any guilt you may have about them
Detachment is not about denying your emotions. If someone close to you dies, for example, you will probably feel sad. You can’t choose this feeling. It simply is. But we do have the power to affect the intensity of this feeling, by focusing on the positive aspects of the situation. We can also change our thinking in an attempt to eradicate irrational beliefs that might be contributing to our emotional turmoil.
The goal is not to go without emotions, the goal is to achieve some level of emotional stability. We are detaching from the negative, irrational thoughts that stir up our emotions–like the guilt we might have if we think someone’s perversity, addiction is our fault.
Detachment is difficult and takes practice.”

  

Parents clearly have responsibility to bring up their children themselves  properly.. including a proper religious education

  

– They the parents need to prepare their children for real life..

 

– thus also they need to prepare their children to be able to have a decent job, by getting a decent education

 

– and they the parents also do need to bring up their children for marriage too, not falsely spoiling them..  Sadly many children do not even know next as adult how to cook, prepare a meal, sew, clean a house, they still even lack the discipline to even do so next..   

  

(Deu 5:29 KJV)  O that there were such an heart in them, that they would fear me, and keep all my commandments always, that it might be well with them, and with their children for ever! 

(Deu 31:13 KJV)  And that their children, which have not known any thing, may hear, and learn to fear the LORD your God, as long as ye live in the land whither ye go over Jordan to possess it. 

(1 Chr 9:23 KJV)  So they and their children had the oversight of the gates of the house of the LORD, namely, the house of the tabernacle, by wards.(2 Chr 20:13 KJV)  And all Judah stood before the LORD, with their little ones, their wives, and their children.                         

(2 Chr 25:4 KJV)  But he slew not their children, but did as it is written in the law in the book of Moses, where the LORD commanded, saying, The fathers shall not die for the children, neither shall the children die for the fathers, but every man shall die for his own sin.

(Psa 78:4 KJV)  We will not hide them from their children, showing to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done.

(Psa 78:5 KJV)  For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children:

(Psa 78:6 KJV)  That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children:

(Jer 32:18 KJV)  Thou showest lovingkindness unto thousands, and recompensest the iniquity of the fathers into the bosom of their children after them: the Great, the Mighty God, the LORD of hosts, is his name,

(Jer 32:39 KJV)  And I will give them one heart, and one way, that they may fear me for ever, for the good of them, and of their children after them:

 (1 Tim 3:12 KJV)  Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

(Titus 2:4 KJV)  That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

 (Rev 3:19 KJV)  As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.

 http://www.spiritualriver.com/how-can-i-help-an-alcoholic-or-drug-addict-specific-things-you-can-do-to-help/

 https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/07/27/can-a-person-change/

there still can be a good life after divorce with God’s help…

>>My ex-husband smokes pot and drinks a lot, and I am told, so does his girlfriend. He once told me that I am too righteous because I don’t drink or do drugs, and I attend church.

that was a verbal abuse if I have ever seen one..

so do thank God daily that he has now removed your from this  abusive relationship..

and do ask Him, God  to take all the tears away and he will.

(Psa 4:8 KJV)  I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.

 
(Rev 21:4 KJV)  And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

there still can be a good life after divorce with God’s help…

 Isaiah 54:4-10  “Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. For your Maker is your husband – the LORD Almighty is his name – the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. The LORD will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit – a wife who married young, only to be rejected,” says your God. “For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back. In a surge of anger I hid my face from you for a moment, but with everlasting kindness I will have compassion on you,” says the LORD your Redeemer. “To me this is like the days of Noah, when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth. So now I have sworn not to be angry with you, never to rebuke you again. Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

Truly any type of abuse is unacceptable and anywhere too

and exposing it loudly in public as well as calling the police is the best way to deal with it for everyone’s benefit, the abuser included.

God himself clearly does not accept verbal, physical, or human rights abuses

(Mat 18:6 KJV) But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

(Mat 18:7 KJV) Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!

(Mat 18:8 KJV) Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.

No we ALL cannot STOP, take the ostrich approach under the guise of love to the definite bad acts of others, we as Christians are still called to be fruit inspectors of those who profess to be Christians ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY RARELY QUOTE IT in actual context OR LIVE THE BIBLE THEY CLAIM THEY BELIEVE IN-

(Gen 31:42 KJV) Except the God of my father, the God of Abraham, and the fear of Isaac, had been with me, surely thou hadst sent me away now empty. God hath seen mine affliction and the labour of my hands, and rebuked thee yesternight.

(Lev 19:17 KJV) Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him.

(Neh 5:7 KJV) Then I consulted with myself, and I rebuked the nobles, and the rulers, and said unto them, Ye exact usury, every one of his brother. And I set a great assembly against them.

(Psa 119:21 KJV) Thou hast rebuked the proud that are cursed, which do err from thy commandments.

(Prov 24:25 KJV) But to them that rebuke him shall be delight, and a good blessing shall come upon them.

(Prov 27:5 KJV) Open rebuke is better than secret love.

(Eccl 7:5 KJV) It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise, than for a man to hear the song of fools.

(Mat 17:18 KJV) And Jesus rebuked the devil; and he departed out of him: and the child was cured from that very hour.

(Mark 1:25 KJV) And Jesus rebuked him, saying, Hold thy peace, and come out of him.

(Mark 4:39 KJV) And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.

(Mark 8:33 KJV) But when he had turned about and looked on his disciples, he rebuked Peter, saying, Get thee behind me, Satan: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men.

(1 Tim 5:20 KJV) Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.

(2 Tim 4:2 KJV) Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.

(Titus 1:13 KJV) This witness is true. Wherefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith;

(Titus 2:15 KJV) These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee.

(Heb 12:5 KJV) And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:

(Rev 3:19 KJV) As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.

Verbal abuse is always unacceptable too. So are the Bullies now too.

Verbal abuse is always unacceptable too. So are the Bullies now    Even for Christians! verbal abuse by pastorS NOW ESPECIALLY TOO.

“This is from the book by Patricia Evans http://andthenshecried.wordpress.com/2008/02/05/the-verbally-abusive-relationship-how-to-recognize-it-and-how-to-respond

Verbal abuse is a kind of battering which doesn’t leave evidence like physical abuse does. However, it can be just as painful, and recovery can take much longer. The victim of abuse lives in a gradually more confusing realm. In public she is with one man, in private he becomes another. Often, for the verbally abused woman (man), there is no witness to her reality and no one to understand her experiences. Friends and family continue to see her ex, the abuser, as a really good guy and, certainly, he agrees with them. The verbal abuser, while maintaining his charm with others, always takes his abuse behind closed doors. It is a means of holding power over his wife( husband) /partner.. Many women and some men leave a marriage and come back into the singles’ world with the diminished self-esteem that comes from a verbally abusive relationship. The fact that many of these women (men) have never even realized that they were being abused, makes it easy for them to enter another abusive relationship. A verbal abuser is an insecure person and immature person who is looking for power and control over another.In order to help you recognize abuse, remember that all forms of verbal abuse are methods of manipulating you for the purpose of establishing power over you. The following are some of the forms of verbal abuse the author helps you recognize.

1. Withholding: a purposeful, silent treatment.
2. Countering: a countering of your ideas, feelings, and perceptions, even going so far as to refute what he misconstrues you to have said.
3. Discounting–a putdown of you or something you hold dear.
4. Blocking and diverting–this is a sneaky, covert way of violating your dignity.
5. Accusation and blame: generally involves lies about the partner’s intentions, attitudes, and motives. The author states that accusation and blame is present in all verbally abusive relationships.
6. Judging and criticizing: lies about your personal qualities and performance.
7. Trivializing and undermining: abusive behavior which makes light of your work, your efforts, your interests, or your concerns. The abuser attempts to dilute meaning and value in your life. Undermining might occur when your partner laughs at you, for example, when you burn yourself cooking. It is also jokes at your expense. Undermining is occurring when you feel a “so-called joke” is mean rather than funny.
8. Name calling: no one has a right to call you degrading names. Name calling is verbal abuse.
9. Ordering: Telling you to do something, rather than asking, or making decisions for you or for the two of you without your input.
10. Forgetting and denial: the trickiest form of denial is forgetting. Become aware that forgetting is a form of denial that shifts all responsibility from the abuser to some “weakness of mind.”
11. Abusive anger: this seems to be closely linked to the need to “blow up,” to dominate, to control, to go one up, and to put down. Any time you are snapped at or yelled at, you are being abused.
12. Threatening: Physical threats and sexual threats aside, verbal threats are an effort at manipulation. For example, a threat to leave, stay out all night, or take you home immediately is a manipulation for power. The threat of “pending disaster” is designed to shatter the partner’s serenity as well as her boundaries.

If you counter the abuser or attempt to explain yourself, you will probably be met with such statements as, “I don’t want to hear it, get out of my face” or “Woman you don’t have the brains“, “B” You shouldn’t have said that to me“.

f you are in a brand-new relationship and see warning signs of verbal abuse, the author suggests you might be wise to let the relationship go. It is not likely that a man (woman) who needs to dominate and control will change easily, if at all. It is also likely that when the newness of the relationship wears off, he will become more abusive. Verbal abuse can become physical in time and physical abuse is always preceded by verbal abuse, according to Evans.If you are in a long-term relationship, you can respond to the abuser as the book suggests and soon discover for yourself whether or not your mate is willing to change and stop his abusive behavior.

“If you have been verbally abused in your relationship, you may have discovered that explaining and trying to understand have not improved your relationship. Therefore, I recommend that you respond in a new way–a way that will make an emotional, psychological, and intellectual impact upon your mate.”

The abuser in your relationship may change when he finds that you do know when you are being abused, that you have set limits, that you mean what you say, and that you will not take behavior you don’t like. 

If the man ( or sadly too often now a women) in your relationship remains abusive, it is not only not your fault,” but it is  your responsibility to deal with it, make it public, call the police too.

Any person cannot still fight with you of you leave his or her presences, even forever.. and there is still a good life after a failed marriage now too. I practise what I preach and often now too.

 SEE ALSO https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/07/17/the-too-common-abusive-silent-treatment/

Hey if you read my many non conforming posts you will note that I definitely, and loudly, rightfully still  do not conform to the false or immoral demands of others..
 
I was really now fortunate I had great teachers here in Canada, in my public school, in high School and in University in Montreal Quebec, and all of them now   had treated me as a real person, respected me, and allowed me to speak. and to be heard as well.
  
Not one of them no one told me what I can talk about write about or what I cannot as well. At work as a Professional Engineer, or as a Professional Realtor with Re/Max I was allowed continually as a responsible, a mature adult to make my own decisions,  and top also carry out my responsibilities in the manner   I chose to do them as well.
 
So I have to admit it came to me as a shock firstly when I started to attend evangelical, Baptist Pentecostal churches in Canada now as an adult that that same right  to be respect, top speak, and to be heard, not to be bullied, falsely oppressed. Legal and Human rights that  I had before, often now did not exist in the churches surprisingly now of all places. Never saw so many control freaks, human rights abusers  in my whole life next to the too often bad cops now too.  And perversely many a despotic, crooked elder, pastor had wrongfully tried to shut me up, and even next had resorted next to slander me, to try to discredit me and what I had said,  or whatever,  now even both in Quebec and in Alberta.
 
But like I have often said elsewhere the Evangelical church was not the only place where they tried to deny me my right to speak and to be heard now, for too often too and unacceptable the Alberta bullies, rednecks now  on the net had wrongfully tried often and falsely to suppress my right of free speech, but next so did not too many a Politician, particularly,  ironically again both the professing Christian ones, and the definitely alcoholic ones now too.. what they were falsely deluded that only politicians had the right of free speech and the right to be heard it seems too .
 
Next too many bad police officers as well did not like me openly, publically complaining about the too often bad cops, bad RCMP had encountered in Alberta, Quebec, and not just the too many bad pastors, elders too, and in other provinces as well.. and what these bad  cops, bad watchdogs,  forget they are here to serve the good welfare of the citizens? for  they are not our despotic slave drivers.. nor are their bosses for that matter now too.
 
Now what bothered them all now so much that they had tried to shut me up? my transparency, honesty, or it seems the mere exercise of  case of my rights . For in reality it seems at least 10 percent of the persons even on the net seem to be control freaks, bullies, human rights abusers.
 
I often read complaints on the net from  some child complaining  that that one of their parents is verbally abusing them, or even a spouse complain that  their spouse is abusing them.  I have heard people tell me how pastors had abused them as well. Children and spouses sometimes are forced to put up with it?? But not me, for I am not a child, rather a matured adult, a retired senior in fact. And I can clearly, rightfully speak for myself and talk on any topic now as I so desire as well as we all can readily see and I do so now too. And for the good of us all now too.
 
 
Beware always of men and women, bullies, tormentors, control freaks,  persons, civil and public servants,  politicians, pastors, leaders, elders, who falsely do, will try to enslave you, oppress you, exploit you even while they claim they are proclaiming the truth, democracy, trying to help you, etc.,
 
Is 51:23 ..your tormentors {and} oppressors, those who said to you, Bow down, that we may ride {or} tread over you; and you have made your back like the ground and like the street for them to pass over.
 
 
 
In generally in the more   liberal society of Canada both the wife and the children tend to have much more freedom, rights, make their own decisions,  over many other countries and as a result the culture shock is a very real problem for some new immigrant spouses where the husband was used to being obeyed, and being the sole head of the home  thus  it’s not altogether uncommon for some of the new immigrant  home situations to become  unacceptably violent.
 
Here also is what I know for sure, the older the person is the more extreme, more severe, the more difficult the punishment has  to be on them to cause them to personally to change in their own  negative ways, for they are too set in them now too.