it is not good for the man to dwell alone

God says ‘that it is not good for the man to dwell alone’ (Gen 2:18), therefore he created a wife for Adam.

 I agree  a man needs to find a wife and a woman needs to find a husband. Paul says that if an unmarried person cannot exercise self-control 1 they should marry. (1Co 7:8-9 ESV) To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. (9) But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion.  Paul says something along similar lines later in Ch 7. (1Co 7:36-37 ESV) If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry–it is no sin. (37) But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well.

(1 Th 4:3-7 NIV) It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; {4} that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, {5} not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; {6} and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. {7} For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.

(Titus 2:6 NIV) Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled.

(1 Cor 7:2 NIV) But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. \

(Prov 18:22 NIV) He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.

 In 1 Cor 6:12, Paul says ‘”Everything is permissible for me”–but I will not be mastered by anything’. If we become slaves to a bad habit, then we are not in control of our body.

(1 Cor 6:12-13 NIV) “Everything is permissible for me”–but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me”–but I will not be mastered by anything. {13} “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food”–but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

(1 Cor 7:1-4 NIV) Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. {2} But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. {3} The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. {4} The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.

(Phil 4:7-8 NIV) And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. {8} Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

In 1 Th 4:4-5 Paul tells us that “each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God”. Also in 2 Tim 2:22 Paul’s advice to Timothy, is to flee the evil desires of youth, and a positive command is introduced , which is to pursue righteousness, faith love and peace.

(Titus 2:6) Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled.

2 Tim 2:22 Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

(1 Cor 6:15-20 NIV) Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! {16} Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” {17} But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. {18} Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. {19} Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; {20} you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
Again the problem here is that the Corinthians were going to a prostitute and becoming one body, or one flesh with the prostitute. Paul argues that our bodies are a member of Christ himself, and that we should not unite them with a prostitute. He is sinning against his body by uniting it with a prostitute. This is certainly not the case with masturbation. However perhaps 1 Cor 6:19-20 are more relevant to masturbation, we are not our own, we were bought at a price, therefore we should honour God with our body. It is hard to see that masturbation is honoring to God, while sex within marriage is.

(Mat 5:28 NIV) But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

(Job 31:1 NIV) “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.

(Mat 5:29 NIV) If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

(Phil 4:8 NIV) Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

(Prov 24:16 NIV) for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity.

James 4:8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

(Mat 18:21-22 NIV) Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” {22} Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

(Heb 2:17-18 NIV) For this reason he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. {18} Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted. (Heb 3:1 NIV) Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess.

(Heb 12:4 NIV) In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.

(1 Cor 10:13 NIV) No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

(Prov 5:18-20 NIV) May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. {19} A loving doe, a graceful deer– may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. {20} Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man’s wife?

(1 Tim 4:1-5 NIV) The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. {2} Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. {3} They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. {4} For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, {5} because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.

1Co 7:33-34 ESV But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, (34) and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.

1Co 7:12-16 ESV To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. (13) If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. (14) For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. (15) But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. (16) Wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?

(1 Cor 6:13 NIV) “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food”–but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 

 see also https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/07/17/the-false-divorce-incentives/

http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/08/21/todd-bentley-someone-has-to-say-it-to-you/

Verbal abuse is always unacceptable too. So are the Bullies now too.

Verbal abuse is always unacceptable too. So are the Bullies now    Even for Christians! verbal abuse by pastorS NOW ESPECIALLY TOO.

“This is from the book by Patricia Evans http://andthenshecried.wordpress.com/2008/02/05/the-verbally-abusive-relationship-how-to-recognize-it-and-how-to-respond

Verbal abuse is a kind of battering which doesn’t leave evidence like physical abuse does. However, it can be just as painful, and recovery can take much longer. The victim of abuse lives in a gradually more confusing realm. In public she is with one man, in private he becomes another. Often, for the verbally abused woman (man), there is no witness to her reality and no one to understand her experiences. Friends and family continue to see her ex, the abuser, as a really good guy and, certainly, he agrees with them. The verbal abuser, while maintaining his charm with others, always takes his abuse behind closed doors. It is a means of holding power over his wife( husband) /partner.. Many women and some men leave a marriage and come back into the singles’ world with the diminished self-esteem that comes from a verbally abusive relationship. The fact that many of these women (men) have never even realized that they were being abused, makes it easy for them to enter another abusive relationship. A verbal abuser is an insecure person and immature person who is looking for power and control over another.In order to help you recognize abuse, remember that all forms of verbal abuse are methods of manipulating you for the purpose of establishing power over you. The following are some of the forms of verbal abuse the author helps you recognize.

1. Withholding: a purposeful, silent treatment.
2. Countering: a countering of your ideas, feelings, and perceptions, even going so far as to refute what he misconstrues you to have said.
3. Discounting–a putdown of you or something you hold dear.
4. Blocking and diverting–this is a sneaky, covert way of violating your dignity.
5. Accusation and blame: generally involves lies about the partner’s intentions, attitudes, and motives. The author states that accusation and blame is present in all verbally abusive relationships.
6. Judging and criticizing: lies about your personal qualities and performance.
7. Trivializing and undermining: abusive behavior which makes light of your work, your efforts, your interests, or your concerns. The abuser attempts to dilute meaning and value in your life. Undermining might occur when your partner laughs at you, for example, when you burn yourself cooking. It is also jokes at your expense. Undermining is occurring when you feel a “so-called joke” is mean rather than funny.
8. Name calling: no one has a right to call you degrading names. Name calling is verbal abuse.
9. Ordering: Telling you to do something, rather than asking, or making decisions for you or for the two of you without your input.
10. Forgetting and denial: the trickiest form of denial is forgetting. Become aware that forgetting is a form of denial that shifts all responsibility from the abuser to some “weakness of mind.”
11. Abusive anger: this seems to be closely linked to the need to “blow up,” to dominate, to control, to go one up, and to put down. Any time you are snapped at or yelled at, you are being abused.
12. Threatening: Physical threats and sexual threats aside, verbal threats are an effort at manipulation. For example, a threat to leave, stay out all night, or take you home immediately is a manipulation for power. The threat of “pending disaster” is designed to shatter the partner’s serenity as well as her boundaries.

If you counter the abuser or attempt to explain yourself, you will probably be met with such statements as, “I don’t want to hear it, get out of my face” or “Woman you don’t have the brains“, “B” You shouldn’t have said that to me“.

f you are in a brand-new relationship and see warning signs of verbal abuse, the author suggests you might be wise to let the relationship go. It is not likely that a man (woman) who needs to dominate and control will change easily, if at all. It is also likely that when the newness of the relationship wears off, he will become more abusive. Verbal abuse can become physical in time and physical abuse is always preceded by verbal abuse, according to Evans.If you are in a long-term relationship, you can respond to the abuser as the book suggests and soon discover for yourself whether or not your mate is willing to change and stop his abusive behavior.

“If you have been verbally abused in your relationship, you may have discovered that explaining and trying to understand have not improved your relationship. Therefore, I recommend that you respond in a new way–a way that will make an emotional, psychological, and intellectual impact upon your mate.”

The abuser in your relationship may change when he finds that you do know when you are being abused, that you have set limits, that you mean what you say, and that you will not take behavior you don’t like. 

If the man ( or sadly too often now a women) in your relationship remains abusive, it is not only not your fault,” but it is  your responsibility to deal with it, make it public, call the police too.

Any person cannot still fight with you of you leave his or her presences, even forever.. and there is still a good life after a failed marriage now too. I practise what I preach and often now too.

 SEE ALSO https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/07/17/the-too-common-abusive-silent-treatment/

Hey if you read my many non conforming posts you will note that I definitely, and loudly, rightfully still  do not conform to the false or immoral demands of others..
 
I was really now fortunate I had great teachers here in Canada, in my public school, in high School and in University in Montreal Quebec, and all of them now   had treated me as a real person, respected me, and allowed me to speak. and to be heard as well.
  
Not one of them no one told me what I can talk about write about or what I cannot as well. At work as a Professional Engineer, or as a Professional Realtor with Re/Max I was allowed continually as a responsible, a mature adult to make my own decisions,  and top also carry out my responsibilities in the manner   I chose to do them as well.
 
So I have to admit it came to me as a shock firstly when I started to attend evangelical, Baptist Pentecostal churches in Canada now as an adult that that same right  to be respect, top speak, and to be heard, not to be bullied, falsely oppressed. Legal and Human rights that  I had before, often now did not exist in the churches surprisingly now of all places. Never saw so many control freaks, human rights abusers  in my whole life next to the too often bad cops now too.  And perversely many a despotic, crooked elder, pastor had wrongfully tried to shut me up, and even next had resorted next to slander me, to try to discredit me and what I had said,  or whatever,  now even both in Quebec and in Alberta.
 
But like I have often said elsewhere the Evangelical church was not the only place where they tried to deny me my right to speak and to be heard now, for too often too and unacceptable the Alberta bullies, rednecks now  on the net had wrongfully tried often and falsely to suppress my right of free speech, but next so did not too many a Politician, particularly,  ironically again both the professing Christian ones, and the definitely alcoholic ones now too.. what they were falsely deluded that only politicians had the right of free speech and the right to be heard it seems too .
 
Next too many bad police officers as well did not like me openly, publically complaining about the too often bad cops, bad RCMP had encountered in Alberta, Quebec, and not just the too many bad pastors, elders too, and in other provinces as well.. and what these bad  cops, bad watchdogs,  forget they are here to serve the good welfare of the citizens? for  they are not our despotic slave drivers.. nor are their bosses for that matter now too.
 
Now what bothered them all now so much that they had tried to shut me up? my transparency, honesty, or it seems the mere exercise of  case of my rights . For in reality it seems at least 10 percent of the persons even on the net seem to be control freaks, bullies, human rights abusers.
 
I often read complaints on the net from  some child complaining  that that one of their parents is verbally abusing them, or even a spouse complain that  their spouse is abusing them.  I have heard people tell me how pastors had abused them as well. Children and spouses sometimes are forced to put up with it?? But not me, for I am not a child, rather a matured adult, a retired senior in fact. And I can clearly, rightfully speak for myself and talk on any topic now as I so desire as well as we all can readily see and I do so now too. And for the good of us all now too.
 
 
Beware always of men and women, bullies, tormentors, control freaks,  persons, civil and public servants,  politicians, pastors, leaders, elders, who falsely do, will try to enslave you, oppress you, exploit you even while they claim they are proclaiming the truth, democracy, trying to help you, etc.,
 
Is 51:23 ..your tormentors {and} oppressors, those who said to you, Bow down, that we may ride {or} tread over you; and you have made your back like the ground and like the street for them to pass over.
 
 
 
In generally in the more   liberal society of Canada both the wife and the children tend to have much more freedom, rights, make their own decisions,  over many other countries and as a result the culture shock is a very real problem for some new immigrant spouses where the husband was used to being obeyed, and being the sole head of the home  thus  it’s not altogether uncommon for some of the new immigrant  home situations to become  unacceptably violent.
 
Here also is what I know for sure, the older the person is the more extreme, more severe, the more difficult the punishment has  to be on them to cause them to personally to change in their own  negative ways, for they are too set in them now too.