Tag Archives: Plymouth Brethren

Throw the bum out..

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ONE OF THE MOST COMMON, POPULAR TOPICS, SEARCHES ON THE INTERNET is can a Christian next get divorced and remarried, and the simple answer is no! but wait  do not stop reading yet.. if you are married, living to a demon, a control freak, a liar, a lazy good for nothing abusive person then please now do immediately get out of the marriage, do get an immediate separation.. and this not the kind of advice you would expect from a preacher of peace and love, but I am telling you all this for our own good, and you can thank me later.. and maybe next the still good for nothing bum, lousy spouse, he or she will wake up as to what she is really like and they may try to get help to change herself, himself.. but meanwhile don’t feel guilty about the peace you now have in your life.. By the way make sure first you are not the creepy, a good for nothing spouse yourself otherwise by your actions you will be doing your own spouse a great, great service.

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Fornication, Adultery, Marital failures, and many other destructive conditions, exist because of sin. They also do exist because humans have decided that their way is better than God’s way. They have decided that fulfilling their desires is more important than obeying and glorifying the Creator/Sustainer of the universe. Nevertheless, all persons must learn what the Bible says about sin, adultery in order to see it the way God sees it. Only when we change our views to line up with God’s views can we live the full, blessed life He has waiting for us. Personal Sins of commission are also often the result of One’s sins of omission, even the sin of presumption. Believe it or not when you sin deliberately and do not admit it, stop the sin even, there is still a price to pay.. even now especially for adultery… divorce… One of the undeniable punishment is that your sin is shouted from the Housetops..  http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2009/01/02/divorce-and-remarriage-in-the-christian-church/
 
God Himself has now promised to meet all of our needs if we serve Him, not our wants, lusts, desires, wishes. http://kambulow.blogspot.ca/…/god-always-comes-first.html
 
Sadly too many divorces are ALSO caused even by outside influences.. such as by the input of bad persons too, even the demons such as bad lawyers, bad judges, bad relatives and the bad pastors too..  https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2009/06/11/marriage-breakdown/   

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In generally in the more   liberal society of Canada both the wife and the children tend to have much more freedom, rights, make their own decisions,  over many other countries and as a result the culture shock is a very real problem for some new immigrant spouses where the husband was used to being obeyed, and being the sole head of the home  thus  it’s not altogether uncommon for some of the new immigrant  home situations to become  unacceptably violent.

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It was a surprise to me  that when I graduated from University as a Professional Engineer, I next met loads of associates in the real business world really messed up. Alcoholics, drug users, new age religion fanatics, weirdo’s. who clearly need real pastoral counseling.
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(1 Cor 13:1 KJV) Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
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 Marriage is a legal contract where both of the parties have obligations, duties and responsibilities to keep.. and it is not just the spouse who has to provide the bread on the table..
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One of the most common questions I next encountered in life, counseling  was can a Christian get divorced too
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ONE OF THE MOST COMMON, POPULAR TOPICS, SEARCHES ON THE INTERNET by Christians is still  can a Christian next get divorced and remarried, and the simple answer is no! but wait  do not stop reading yet.. if you are married, living to a demon, a control freak, a liar, a lazy good for nothing abusive person then please now do immediately get out of the marriage, do get an immediate separation.. and this not the kind of advice you would expect from a preacher of peace and love, but I am telling you all this for our own good, and you can thank me later.. and maybe next the still good for nothing bum, lousy spouse, he or she will wake up as to what she is really like and they may try to get help to change herself, himself.. but meanwhile don’t feel guilty about the peace you now have in your life.. By the way make sure first you are not the creepy, a good for nothing spouse yourself otherwise by your actions you will be doing your own spouse a great, great service. .
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Any Children of God even who are verbally abused they will next be also physically abused if the matter is not adequately dealt with ASAP{.. Abusing others is a common reaction of the carnal flesh and is brought on by many different reasons such as 1: unfulfilled lusts or 2: a spoiled child syndrome who tries to get their own way by whatever method it can 3: sibling rivalry 4: people who have no or little moral values, respect of others 5: one’s parental influence and upbringing..6: demon possessed persons, etc. The devil, demons and demon seduced persons, professing Christian persons falsely, wrongfully take false delight in slandering, abusing, bashing others and their evident fruits of hatred alone shows how false they themselves now are too. they clearly had, do manifest the opposite of the fruit of the Holy Spirit which is love. ,

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The sad reality is abusers rarely change unless they are made personally to face some severe negative consequences, and the older they are the more severe it seems it has to be..So first you merely ask the guilty, bad persons personally to repent twice, the first time without a witness, the second time with witnesses THAT you have asked them to repent.. and proof, substantiation is NOT required.. after you have done that you can next post it openly on the net, tell all the others. Next God is fully free to deal with the unrepentant guilty offenders and believe me he will.. I have now been doing for decades too..

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 Anyone who has not lived even with an alcoholic,  drug users can hardly appreciate the shame, loneliness, neglect, sorrows, abuses, that come with it.. and how one desires to be freed of all this ASAP..even by divorce..  But the Bible is clear we must give the alcohol, abusive person,  spouse a chance to repent, to confess their sins, and to repent still. I too cannot live with any alcoholic.. for sure..
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John 4:16    Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither.
17    The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband:
18    For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.
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I draw your attention to this women that Jesus himself had  encountered a women whose numerous husbands did not meet her needs.
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John 4: 10    Jesus answered and said unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water.
13    Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again:
14    But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.
15    The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw.
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God alone has the sole final thirst quencher too
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No divorce But you can get a separation with no right of remarriage.. Sadly many people falsely believe that a divorce will make them happy and the second marriage will be better.. In all likelihood it will not.. Even if separated so now anyway you are still married and there is no discussion about a divorce by God.. As Professing Christians we now love and live God’s way and not the Hollywood  way.. and  we do nothing without God’s approval, blessing, will….
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1 Corinthians 7:

9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. 10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

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1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
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The scriptures teach that every Christian will face many trials and disappointments in this life and He promises to deliver us from them all. “Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all” (Psalms 34:19).
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However, we must understand, our deliverance and victory may not always mean the immediate alteration of our circumstances. God may not always choose, or be at liberty, to change some external circumstances immediately. Instead, He will change YOU internally so that you can “endure” the circumstances. Till the time is right to do otherwise.
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We also do need to start see as God being the main provider  for all of our needs, desires, fulfillment, goals, happiness,   and not our spouse, our ex husbands..
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The Bible tells us that “God is your refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” (Psalms 46:1). You are not alone. Jesus has promised to never leave you nor forsake you (Heb. 12:13). Turn your attention to Him and His Word. Wait upon Him and He will strengthen you with His peace. “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee” (Isaiah 26:3).

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By faith, release your cares, your concerns and worries to Him. Trust Him to work out the end result. He will either change your circumstance or will change you to deal with them! Take His rest and peace upon you, believing that He has taken the burden from you. “Cast all your cares upon him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

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God has shown us that He is our Protector and Provider, no matter what we are going through.

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For he hath not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; neither hath he hid his face from him; but when he cried unto him, he heard. Psalm 22:24 The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. Psalm 18:2

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Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you will revive me: you shall stretch forth your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand shall save me. Psalm 138:7

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You Must Put Your Faith with God, Not in Your Feelings

Find out God’s will and do it and the rest falls into place

Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

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Philippians 4: 1 Therefore, my brethren dearly beloved and longed for, my joy and crown, so stand fast in the Lord, my dearly beloved. 4 Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. 6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
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(1 Pet 3:7 KJV) Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

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“Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offenses contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them. For they that are such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple.” -Romans 16:17-18 KJV

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God himself clearly does not accept verbal, physical, or human rights abuses

(Mat 18:6 KJV) But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

(Mat 18:7 KJV) Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!

No we ALL cannot STOP, take the ostrich approach under the guise of love to the definite bad acts of others, we as Christians are still called to be fruit inspectors of even those who profess to be Christians ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY RARELY QUOTE IT in actual context OR LIVE THE BIBLE THEY CLAIM THEY BELIEVE IN-

(Mat 18:8 KJV) Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.

(1 Tim 5:20 KJV) Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.

(2 Tim 4:2 KJV) Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.

(Titus 1:13 KJV) This witness is true. Wherefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith;

(Titus 2:15 KJV) These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee.

(Heb 12:5 KJV) And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:

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Mat 5:22 KJV) But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.

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James 4:1 From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? :2 Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. 3 Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. 4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with

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God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. 5 Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? 6 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. 7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. 9 Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. 10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

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I was really saddened to note that too many of the abuses I have witnessed were done by bad , greedy people trying to steal , then trying to get other people’s money for themselves, stealing the money, or getting it under false pretenses. The love of more money is still the basis of what many of the wrong doings is, was all about..

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(1 Tim 6:6 KJV) But godliness with contentment is great gain.

(1 Tim 6:17 KJV) Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy;

(Psa 37:16 KJV) A little that a righteous man hath is better than the riches of many wicked. 17 For the arms of the wicked shall be broken: but the LORD upholdeth the righteous.

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Everyone needs to set boundaries on what is acceptable behavior. No verbal abuses, no bullying, no lying, no foul languages, no hitting or other violence should be allowed.

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God does not at all not  allow, accept any human rights, verbal and physical abuses and neither should we.. And Exemplary public exposure of the Bullies, abusers, the bad, guilty persons serves everyone’s best interest next too. God undeniably himself does not show false partialities . Shout the abuses, sins truth from the housetops..

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Let me tell you we do not have to accept human rights abuse that is a lie of the devil.. in this world we have the same rights as the bully even the right to see that a bully is punished for abusing us.. God is not ignorant about the injustices inflicted upon his people, nor does he accept any of our human rights abuses without punishing the abusers shortly.. see the Bible book of Esther if you have doubts..

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Est 9:25 But when Esther came before the king, he commanded by letters that his wicked device, which he devised against the Jews, should return upon his own head, and that he and his sons should be hanged on the gallows.

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Now actually my whole bad family were bad slave drivers.. wife, mother and father in law, brother and sister in law, father, twin brother and his had wife too.. still are.. 30 percent of all persons need to be in jail all of their life.. the bullies, perverts, rapists, criminals, human rights abusers. Not surprisingly many prideful people FALSELY STILL DO try to take the place of God in my life too, AND these imposters claim even that they have been chosen, designated by God to command over me, THAT I am required into forced submission to their whims, desires , commands. But funny God now himself has not revealed those facts as well to me BUT only to them. I put my trust in God and not in man

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AND WHEN YOU DO NOT DO WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO DO THESE SAME RATHER LITTLE BAD CHILDREN NEXT DO INSULT YOU, SLANDER YOU, DIVORCE YOU, OSTRACIZE YOU, BAD MOUTH YOU. WHO CARES I DO NOT CARE TO DEAL WITH THEM FIRSTLY OR ANYMORE TOO

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Cor 13:1 KJV Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. “Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offenses contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them. For they that are such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple.” -Romans 16:17-18KJV God himself clearly does not accept verbal, physical, or human rights abuses (Mat 18:6 KJV) But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.(Mat 18:7 KJV) Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!(1 Tim 6:6 KJV) But godliness with contentment is great gain.(1 Tim 6:17 KJV) Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy (Psa 37:16 KJV) A little that a righteous man hath is better than the riches of many wicked. 17 For the arms of the wicked shall be broken: but the LORD upholdeth the righteous. I know that even demon inspired persons will next face negative consequences cause so I am in the right asking them next to repent of these their wrong doings undeniably too. Any Children of God even who are verbally abused they will next be also physically abused if the matter is not adequately dealt with ASAP Your Abusing others is a common reaction of the carnal flesh and is brought on by many different reasons such as 1: unfulfilled lusts or 2: a spoiled child syndrome who tries to get their own way by whatever method it can 3: sibling rivalry 4: people who have no or little moral values, respect of others 5: one’s parental influence and  upbringing..6: demon possessed persons, etc. The devil, demons and demon seduced persons, professing Christian persons falsely, wrongfully take false delight in slandering, abusing, bashing others and their evident fruits of hatred alone The sad reality is abusers rarely change unless they are made personally to face some severe negative consequences, and the older they are the more severe it seems it has to be. So first you merely ask the guilty, bad persons personally to repent twice, the first time without a witness, the second time with witnesses THAT you have asked them to repent.. and proof, substantiation is NOT required.. after you have done that you can next post it openly on the net, tell all the others. Next God is fully free to deal with the unrepentant guilty offenders and believe me he will.. I have now been doing for decades too.. The bad false persons they themselves now clearly had, do manifest the opposite of the fruit of the Holy Spirit which is love (Mat 18:8 KJV) Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire (1 Tim 5:20 KJV) Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may  fear 2 Tim 4:2 KJV Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine. (Titus 1:13 KJV) This witness is true. Wherefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be
sound in the faith (Titus 2:15 KJV) These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee

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you are indirectly rebelling against God shaking your fist at God. You even have no faith in the will of God  being attained for your life nor will it be.. the best you can hope for or  expect next thus is the painful divorce.

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NOW THAT IS SO TRUE WHEN SHE WAS WRONG IN SUCH A VITAL AREA HER AND MANY OTHERS THEY ARE NEXT WRONG IN SO MANY CAUSE THEY ARE STILL BEING LED BY THE SPIRIT OF DEMONS AND NOT THE HOLY SPIRIT. BAD PEOPLE SEEM SO READY TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE’S SAME FAULTS BUT NOT THEIR OWN.. In Luke 13:16, Christ cast a demon out of a ‘daughter of Abraham’. Beware always ofmen and women, bullies, tormentors, control freaks, persons, civil and public servants, politicians, pastors, leaders, elders, who falsely do, will try to enslave you, oppress you, exploit you even while they claim they are proclaiming the truth, democracy, trying to help you, etc., https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/…/the-possession/

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Is 51:23 ..your tormentors {and} oppressors, those who said to you, Bow down, that we may ride {or} tread over you; and you have made your back like the ground and like the street for them to pass over Is 55:7 Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return to the Lord, and He will have love, pity, {and} mercy for him, and to our God, for He will multiply to him His abundant pardon. 8 For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord. 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.

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I am an expert on being hated by others, my family now too, was hated by everyone in my family for decades too”.. Often   it is the Joseph syndrome, who was hated by his own brothers, it is a false  control, a false power play, a controlling spirit. The Best way to deal with  abuse is to shout rape in public at the top of your vice, call the police, tell  others about it.. post it on the net.. that is what I do continually too… cause  it works

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Alcholic’s sleep

Drink Alcohol and Die  is fast becoming North America’s preoccupation, main goal, slogan      

“A 2007 poll by the National Sleep Foundation found that 67 percent of women frequently experience sleep problems and 29 percent use some type of sleep aid at least a few nights a week. Other surveys have consistently found that nearly half again as many women as men complain of insomnia….   Many Doctors tend to assume that the problem is psychological. When 501 physicians were interviewed about how they treated insomnia, they revealed that they asked an average of just two and a half questions, mostly about psychological problems.   National Institutes of Health spent less than $20 million on the condition, although it affects as many as a third of the U.S. adult population. Most of those funds were directed toward treating and managing the problem,” 

Researchers found that people who get more rest are less likely to have calcium clogging their arteries, which can lead to heart attacks and heart failure. The hard “plaques” narrow blood vessels and are a major risk factor for heart disease. Scientists believe that the body is better able to clear the build up from the crucial blood vessels if it gets more rest.  High levels of cholesterol, high blood pressure and smoking are all known to affect the risk of suffering from hardened arteries. Now scientists have proven that the amount of sleep a person regularly gets can also affect their chances of developing the condition.  
 
If you often cannot get enough sleep it can be due to unresolved guilt or unresolved stress, now next do learn to admit it, recognize it, deal with it positively now.. if something is bothering you, put it in writing literately.. so next you can study it, and look at how to spherically deal with it.. or next even go to others for help in dealing with the unresolved guilt or stress first..
 
Face it if you do not eat well you may also feel tired and not get enough sleep.. someone who has had a good meal tends to next sleep quite well. 
 
 You have a responsibility to firstly look after your own well being.. do so now too
 
There is a great risk when being overly ambitious, trying to get rich, and/or  having even acquired wealth that the related stress, lack of sleep can kill you.. 
 
A Mysterious Link Between Sleeplessness and Heart Disease
New York Times – People who don’t get much sleep are more likely than those who do to develop calcifications in their coronary arteries, possibly raising their risk for heart disease, a new study has found. After accounting for various other causes, the researchers concluded that one hour more of sleep per night was associated with a 33 percent decrease in the odds of calcification, comparable to the heart benefit gained by lowering one’s systolic blood pressure by 17 millimeters of mercury.
  
 
(Eccl 5:12 KJV)  The sleep of a labouring man is sweet, whether he eat little or much: but the abundance of the rich will not suffer him to sleep.
 
(Eccl 5:13 KJV)  There is a sore evil which I have seen under the sun, namely, riches kept for the owners thereof to their hurt.
 
(Eccl 5:14 KJV)  But those riches perish by evil travail: and he begetteth a son, and there is nothing in his hand.
 
(Eccl 5:15 KJV)  As he came forth of his mother’s womb, naked shall he return to go as he came, and shall take nothing of his labour, which he may carry away in his hand.
 
(Eccl 5:16 KJV)  And this also is a sore evil, that in all points as he came, so shall he go: and what profit hath he that hath laboured for the wind?
    
8 Hours of Sleep: a Heart-Healthy Goal for 2009
U.S. News & World Report –  Who would have thought that how we sleep would turn out to be a coronary artery risk factor every bit as important as smoking or high blood pressure?
Expecting a Late Night? Sleep Deprivation Boosts Heart Risk Bloomberg
A Mysterious Link Between Sleeplessness and Heart Disease New York Times
Washington Post – WebMD – BBC News – NPR
all 103 news articles »

Dangerous drug combos pose risk for elderly
Reuters – By Julie Steenhuysen CHICAGO (Reuters) – Older adults in the United States are popping prescription pills, over-the-counter drugs and dietary supplements in record numbers, and in combinations that could be deadly, US researchers said on Tuesday.
Drug Combinations Putting Seniors at Risk Washington Post
Mixing drugs puts more older patients at risk USA Today
WebMD – CNN – FiercePharma – Wall Street Journal Blogs
all 78 news articles »


Even a Little Overweight, Inactivity Hurts the Heart
Washington Post – Dec 22, 2008 By Ed Edelson MONDAY, Dec. 22 (HealthDay News) — Even a few extra pounds and just a little inactivity increased the risk of heart failure in a major study of American doctors.
Study: A Few Extra Pounds = Big Heart Risk CBS News
Just a little extra weight and inactivity contribute to heart failure TopNews
U.S. News & World Report – Chapel Hill News – Medical News Today – HealthNews  

Let’s first be fair to ourselves and others and note that no one thing specifically causes all the cancers, diabetic sick persons, heart problems in the world, rather it is a combination of several different factors starting with our personal ignorance, and the false neglect of   our Bodies.
 
I have said it before and I will say it again Most people still do not take adequate care of their bodies, and have to visit the Doctor next as a result, when an ounce of prevention would have been worth a pound of cure.
   
Heart disease is the leading cause of death in the north America often occurs after years of accumulated, neglected  damage to blood vessels around the organ.
  
Burning a candle at both ends tends to shorten it’s life span, in half.. not getting enough quality sleep  also  affects shortens our life, affects our health.. The actual amount of our sleep affects  directly our personal health, our actual output, productivity if you admit it now or not.. Recent studies have shown that people who sleep five or fewer hours per night are more likely to develop heart trouble and are clearly less productive during the day, and will even unbeneficial gain weight as a result  too, since they have less energy for physical activities. 
   
Experts recommend that adults get between seven and eight hours of sleep a night, teenagers nine hours and children between 10 and 11 hours.  Seniors need more than 8 hours of sleep.
 
More Canadians are trying to drink themselves to sleep, Quebec study finds  Canwest News Service Published: Friday, January 02, 2009 Canadians are spending hundreds of millions of dollars every year self-medicating their insomnia with alcohol, a new study suggests. “We were very surprised to see that so many people use alcohol as a way to promote sleep, particularly because it has more detrimental than beneficial effects on sleep,” says Charles Morin, a professor of psychology at Laval University and one of the authors of the study, published this week in the journal Sleep. Overall, eight per cent of the sample reported using alcohol as a sleep aid. Among people with insomnia, 28 per cent reported self-medicating with alcohol.   The study estimates the total annual costs of the sleep disorder in Quebec alone is $6.5 billion. “We know insomnia is a very prevalent problem, it has a very negative impact on people’s quality of life,” Morin says. “If we can show that it’s 10 times more costly not to treat insomnia because of its impact on absenteeism from work and reduced productivity than it is to treat it, why aren’t we treating it more often?” Part of the problem is that so few people seek help. Morin says some people take sleeping pills, “but there are many more who self-medicate with over-the-counter products or, worse, with alcohol.” The research found the money spent on the use of booze as a sleep aid far exceeds costs associated with visits to doctors and the use of prescription pills and over-the-counter products from antihistamines to herbal teas. “The idea that ‘schnapps before your bedtime’ is good for your sleep might have been right about 100 years ago, as long as it was the occasional schnapps,” says Dr. Adam Moscovitch, medical director of the Canadian Sleep Institute and a University of Calgary professor. “When you knock yourself out as a way of dealing with it, if you can’t shut you mind off in any other way, then alcohol has a very negative effect on your sleep. It deprives you of any of the deep stages of sleep and, once it wears off, it has a rebound effect. So your problem becomes much worse.” Of the $6.5 billion estimated annual costs associated with insomnia in Quebec, the biggest indirect cost by far — $5 billion — was reduced productivity. The highest direct cost — $339.8 million — was money spent on alcohol to promote sleep. By comparison, an estimated $16.5 million was spent on prescription drugs, and $1.8 million for over-the-counter products. The study, based on a random sample of 948 adults, distinguished between those people who drink at the end of the day, and those who use booze specifically to help them sleep, meaning they drink before bedtime, or in the middle of the night. Canadians today live in a stressed society with multiple pressures balancing work and family responsibilities. “One of the things we cut corners on is our sleep,” Moscovitch says. http://www.canada.com/theprovince/news/story.html?id=bbff0ea3-d36d-45bd-ac3b-773697d5442f
  
High personal stress, lack of excercise, Smoking, Alcohol, diabetes, high blood cholesterol,  obesity. etc., now have all been linked directly to the negative calcium buildup in the coronary arteries around the heart. NOT getting enough sleep increases the risk of clogged arteries and heart disease, research has shown.    One’s blood pressure usually dips when people are asleep, which could provide health benefits for those who get more sleep..  a number of studies have suggested that people who sleep less are at greater risk of heart disease and death.. Also “It’s possible, for example, that people who are under more stress may be both sleeping less and at higher risk of heart disease, “If we got those people to sleep more but they still were under a lot of stress, it wouldn’t change their risk of heart disease.” Higher education levels are also associated with both a lower risk of heart disease and a tendency to get more sleep.”  Abnormal sleep patterns also can skew the release of appetite- related hormones, which may contribute to heart disease-related conditions such as obesity and diabetes, earlier studies have shown.

One study  tested 495 men and women aged between 35 and 47 over five years, none of whom had evidence of hardening of the arteries at the start of the study. By the end, however, 12 per cent of the volunteers were sufferers. Calcified arteries were found in 27 per cent of volunteers who slept less than five hours a night. That figure dropped to 11 per cent for participants sleeping five to seven hours, and 6 per cent for those who spent more than seven hours asleep. this study adds to previous research suggesting that getting enough sleep may help to keep our heart and circulation healthy. “Sleep is essential for our body’s ability to repair itself, and  it is important to try and get enough rest. Drinking alcohol late at night, and getting up early can also  mean we’re not getting enough quantity, or quality, of sleep.

Adults who do not get enough sleep often act like cranky babies who also need their sleep in reality..  A long daily grind that shaves away hours of sleep and makes people groggy may also contribute to their risk of heart disease, scientists said.
  
Paradoxically, despite all the dangers, warnings ,  most people continue to drink beyond safe levels on a weekly basis that is more than 14 units of alcohol for women and 21 units for men. At the heart of this strange contradiction is a false belief, best encapsulated by the former Prime Minister in his introduction to the first national alcohol strategy. In the document, Tony Blair assured readers that “alcohol misuse by a small minority” was responsible for the rising levels of social and health harm. In short, problem drinkers are “other people”, spoiling it for the rest of us. In reality this is not so.. Drinking alcohol  has become too common amongst too many people. There is “no failsafe guide” on staying under the legal alcohol limit. It’s also worrying that motorists are continuing to ignore the drink-drive message.  
 
 “Reality too many of the binge drinkers., if not already are likely to become hard core alcoholics. The real problem of alcohol misuse was much wider than previously thought   We are drinking more now than we have ever done since before the First World War. We must transform attitudes towards alcohol.   Alcohol, though legal and embedded in our society, is no ordinary commodity. It is very harmful .. never mind the lies, spins,  distortions of the alcohol industries, alcoholics themselves. 
  
Attitudes To Alcohol Must Change. A health Minister  has called for a change in attitudes towards alcohol by both the public and the drinks industry all year now too. Statistics which show an increase of in the number of people   binge drinking, getting drunk  and that the statistics also show that we still have a long way to deal with this major problem. 81% of people who choose to drink are still exceeding the recommended daily limits. The cost of alcohol misuse to our society is very real. In just over 10 years, there has been a startling 86% increase in the numbers of people dying due to alcohol related harm. “Now, more than ever, we should all be working together to really tackle this issue head on and I believe the drinks industry has a key role to play. Supermarkets in particular sell alcohol far too cheaply. I am extremely disappointed that despite having met with each of the major supermarkets, and received their personal assurances that they take this matter extremely seriously, those words have not as yet translated into meaningful action. ”On the contrary, they are flooded with festive drinks promotions that will only encourage people to indulge further in binge drinking. This, in my view, is totally unacceptable.   Action speaks louder than words. On this occasion, profit is being put before public health.”  “The harsh reality is that although alcohol misuse is known to be damaging and harmful to health and well-being, many people still drink to excess. This must change, and in this respect we all have a collective responsibility in tackling this issue – individuals, society, government and the drinks industry alike.”    http://www.emaxhealth.com/2/63/27952/attitudes-alcohol-must-change.html  http://www.emaxhealth.com/2/63/27943/northern-ireland-reports-adult-drinking-patterns.html 
 
 Perhaps the most worrying aspect of all is  the frightening age shift in alcohol use. A generation or two ago, the first experiments with binge drinking were at university or during National Service. The “victims” of those generations who started drinking in their late teens and 20s were perhaps better able to cope with the consequences than 10-14 year-olds today.
 
 The international evidence is quite clear that the health consequences of alcohol misuse are closely linked to a nation’s total alcohol consumption and the main drivers of this are price and availability. 

For liver disease and other medical conditions, there can be a time lag of 10 or more years from the onset of serious drinking to reaping the consequences. Now we are seeing patients, particularly women, in their 20s with advanced alcoholic liver disease – a real tragedy for their family as well as themselves.” 

Holiday stress, along with getting laid off, has caused too many a person to start drinking heavily and this situation is not unusual.. Sadly when most people think about the upcoming holidays, they think about friends, family, food and good cheer. And for many people, the weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year’s are still particularly difficult. Financial problems are tough to handle for most people at any time, but they can seem overwhelming during this season of giving. Due to unresolved stress Feelings of loneliness, isolation and despair may also intensify but alcohol and drugs are never the answer still. Unfortunately, your friend’s   Many people turn to alcohol falsely believing that it helps them to relax and to cope with stress and worry. And because many people think that New Year’s Eve and similar occasions must always be celebrated with alcohol, it’s often readily available, providing another excuse to drink. It actually will likely cause more problems, and not effectively deal with the ones still not resolved Many people next tend to go to excess, extremes, and   drinking larger amounts of alcohol can increase the risk of a deadly form of liver damage called cirrhosis, heart disease, some types of cancer and injuries. And even moderate drinking can often have harmful consequences in the wrong setting, such as one should not    drink and drive, and drinking alcohol during a pregnancy may  seriously harm a developing baby. Alcohol dependence, also called alcoholism, often  means that if a person tries to stop or cut back on drinking, he or she may experience anxiety, sweating, trembling, trouble sleeping, nausea and vomiting. Drinking can be risky even for people who aren’t dependent on it. It may seriously still interfere with sleep and productivity, strain close relationships and get in the way of spending time with loved ones. It not only also puts the drinker at risk for becoming alcohol dependent as well as developing alcohol-related health problems. Too many people who really do now suffer from a drinking problem claim still don’t believe that anything is wrong. They faley try to justify that they’re drinking to cope with a particularly stressful time. In their mind, suppposedly the basic stress is the unresolved problem, not the drinking. They say they can stop drinking whenever they want, but they don’t. Two wrongs do nto make one right here too.  Denial is a common obstacle that prevents many people from seeking help.
 
More alcohol use is a concern for health-care professionals, since it means more deaths, illness, injuries and hospital visits, meaning added strain on the health-care system, and additional cost. “There’s 60 different ways in which alcohol can cause premature death and illness,”  Too many cops are alcoholic themselves these days it seems too. Showing justice and compassion is rightfully prosecuting all of  the guilty alcohol and drug offenders. Now we know that more people have accident due to road rage, impaired driving, driving under the influence of drugs, alcohol  over speeding too and we still do need to review how much time and resources do the police deal with that firstly? “ 
Despite plunging sales in almost every sector, alcohol sales are on the rise in Ontario, British Columbia and in other provinces over last year . If you drive at twice the legal alcohol limit you are at least 30 times more likely to cause a road crash than a driver who hasn’t been drinking. Alcohol abuse is a problem that is expected to become increasingly common as baby boomers, who have been found to drink more than previous generations, reach age 65 and beyond. ”A lot of folks over 50 are already dealing with diseases associated with aging and medication use that can result in possible complications and drug interactions. And older people who abuse alcohol are consuming an inordinate amount of calories that can displace important nutrients.” It is just a fact, common sense that  “even at lower levels of consumption, alcohol can be problematic for older people.” “Because of an increased sensitivity to alcohol and decreased tolerance as one ages, lower amounts of alcohol can have a bigger effect,” he said. “Older people get into trouble with doses of alcohol that wouldn’t be a problem with a younger person.” Immoderate consumption of alcohol — more than three drinks a day — can be hazardous for people of all ages, but especially so for the elderly, who reach higher levels of blood alcohol faster and maintain them longer than younger people. And people who  have ailments, like chronic liver disease, or take medications, like psychoactive drugs, that would render any amount of alcohol risky.  Alcohol abuse and alcoholism in aging adults  is “a silent epidemic.”  Many older people pursue drinking patterns established earlier in life and may not realize that continuing to drink the same amount of alcohol as they did when they were younger may place them at risk for health problems.” They all rather should be using diet and exercise to reduce cardiac risk; trying alternative relaxation methods to reduce stress,  exercise more ; and, for those who drink, cutting down on the amount of alcohol consumed by mixing it with water, taking an hour to finish one drink and alternating alcohol with nonalcoholic drinks. Because alcohol consumption is a  too common practice, questions about drinking are necessarily part of a general medical health assessment.”   Health experts  warn  that drinking too much alcohol, too fast can be dangerous.  The Department of Health defines binge drinking as over six to eight units of alcohol in an evening for most adults. Their  unit of alcohol depends on the strength of what you’re drinking.  One unit is half a pint of ordinary strength lager, beer, or cider; a 25 ml measure of spirits; or a 125 ml, small glass of wine. Also children often copy their parents when it comes to their attitudes towards alcohol. All parents can reduce the risk to their children, such as avoiding drinking alcohol on every occasion.  Too many  people   are getting into trouble with alcohol. Potential hazards include an increased risk of falls and vehicular accidents, a decline in short-term memory, a worsening of existing health problems and interactions with medications that may diminish the effectiveness of some drugs and increase the toxic effects of others.
  
Nearly twice as many liquor stores, relatively cheap booze and a pricing system that effectively discounts drinks with more alcohol are contributing to a rise in hazardous drinking, says B.C.’s provincial health officer. The same is true in Alberta and other provinces. A 2003 study found that 79 per cent of youth in school reported drinking at least once by age 17, and 20 per cent of those reported binge drinking three or more days in the previous month. While booze prices have risen in recent years, they have not kept pace with other consumer goods, a trend likely to continue with more competition among stores. Kendall recommends that pricing should reflect alcohol content, with discounts for low-alcohol alternatives and a price premium for stronger drinks. Current pricing creates “clear price incentives for consumers to choose higher-strength alcohol products in all major beverage classes,” As of 2007, government liquor stores accounted for 39 per cent of B.C. sales, with private stores up to 33 per cent. Bars, clubs and restaurants served most of the remainder. B.C.’s biggest average booze consumption occurs in the Interior Health Authority region, which includes the Okanagan and Kootenay regions, at 11 litres of pure alcohol per person per year. Vancouver Island was second at 10.71 litres, and also had the largest increase, 15.2 per cent between 2002 and 2007. Northern Health region was third at 9.73 litres per person, followed by Vancouver Coastal at 8.61 and Fraser, the lowest at 7.03. The Central Coast region of Vancouver Coastal has the highest consumption in the province, 13.69 litres per person in 2007.
 
More drunk drivers,  motorists are hitting the sauce before hitting the road this holiday season too. About 1 percent of  the drivers stopped are charged  with impaired driving offences during the generally only one month long  Police province wide drunk drivers check stop campaigns . Sadly there are plenty more drivers who often still do drank like fish  get away during the rest of the year due to the limited number of police officers participating in check stops the rest of the year. We do thus know that very few of the actual people who are impaired and on the roads are caught by police. ”The average person who is prepared to drive while impaired will do it about 80 times a year, repeat offenders causing the most problems.” “Drunk drivers are still; not  getting the message, quite frankly, “The average blood-alcohol reading of those charged was .165, twice the legal limit of .08. The highest reading was .25, more than three times the limit, ” The drivers range between 19 and 59 years old. The average age is 35 but a dozen are over 40. (Older drivers) too seem to be more set in their habits and  risk-takers also tend to be   resistant to all education campaigns,” And during the same period over generally ten times more people now are being charged with failing to to wear seatbelts and Highway Traffic Act offences over impaired driving, even though it is drunk drivers,  that causes many of the accidents?  All now still Unsatisfactory.
  
In 2006, 232 Ontarians were killed in traffic accidents in which alcohol was a factor.  “We’ve had an increased number of impaired driving fatalities in Ontario though we’re still seeing a downward trend in Ontario,” is still not enough policing here.
 
An Australian study estimates that about half of all traffic accidents in Australia may be due to road rage and most of the others related to alcohol, impaired driving and yet the police falsely tend to pursue revenue generating speeding traffic tickets still and why?   Road rage is a relatively serious act; it can  be seen as a violation of human and property rights , an endangerment of  other’s personal well being, security. 
  
Now I have said it for over 3 decades in writing to all too so now call it what you want but police services generally  it is not about public safety, for it is  a self employment, empire  building, a false money grab, revenue generation, hidden taxes..  for if  the cops, the mad RCMP  were now really worried about public safety THEY WOULD FIRSTLY ARREST THEIR OWN KIND, THE BAD COPS WHO OFTEN DRIVE HOME DRUNK AFTER WORK, COMING HOME FROM THE POLICE TAVERN, and they would ALSO FIRSTLY  go after the people who drive reckless, who  fail to stop at the stop signs, or the  traffic stop lights, and go seriously after the impaired drunken drivers, deal with the unsafe cars whose brakes are squealing cause they need to be repaired.. etc. Cops , civil and public servants too often become perverse persons, unacceptable bullies still too. You and I still do not have to accept such crap.

  

PS:
Study: Smoke-free laws may cut heart attack hospitalizations
CNN – 14 hours ago
By Miriam Falco ATLANTA, Georgia (CNN) — Implementing smoke-free policies can lead to a fewer hospitalizations resulting from heart attacks, according to a new study published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Study links smoking bans, heart attack rate Greeley Tribune
Our View: Smoking ban, one year later Northwest Herald
KKTV 11 News – The Associated Press – KDRV – Norman Transcript
all 460 news articles »

see also http://stayinhealth.wordpress.com/2008/11/21/anti-suicide-watch/

 

  

Happy New Year

 A Happy New Year

2009

Wishing you all love, joy, peace, love,

3c4b

freedom, prosperity, and much more.

and that you at least do not repeat last year’s mistakes..

 

Coping with Personal unresolved Stress

  

Siblings, Most adults too  often do fight for a number of reasons.
-They fight because they want a parent’s or other person’s attention, especially where the parent has only so much time, attention and patience to give.
-They fight because they are selfish, jealous: “He got a new bike. I didn’t. They must love him more than they love me.”
-They even fight over ordinary teasing which is a way of testing the effects of behavior and words on another person: “He called me…” “But she called me…first.”
-They fight because they are growing up in a competitive, aggressive, self centered, worldly, dog eat dog,   society that falsely teaches them that to get it, to win is to be better than to be the loser. “I saw it first.” “I beat you to the water.”

Lessons about jealousy, competition, sharing and kindness are difficult to learn, and, indeed, even many adults still still haven’t learned them. Too many adolescent may not recognize, admit still  their needs or may be too embarrassed to express them verbally, so their ongoing fighting with siblings, others is a way to get their need personal  attention which often next  actually increase in adolescence life.

A Parent’s Checklist
As a parent, do you:
-Set aside some time to be alone with each child?
-Recognize that each child is different?
-Make sure your adolescents realize they are each unique and have a special set of strengths?
-Praise adolescents for being who they are and not just for what they can do?
-Avoid initiating competition among children?
-Realize adolescents and younger children need to be given the right also to decide not to share at least some of the time?
-Be sure older children are not usually forced to give in to younger ones because “he’s little” or “she doesn’t know better?”
-Talk positively to the adolescents about their fighting?
-Falsely encourage, promote the sibling fighting?

 

11 Tips for Coping with Personal unresolved Stress
 
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference
 
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
The prayers of Saint Francis of Assisi
 
1. First Concentrate on the present.   You cannot change the past, but you can work on having a better future
Don’t needlessly, continually  dwell on the past or worry about a future you cannot control. Have a positive and not a a negative, defeatist attitude now as well
 
2. Consider, Admit and deal with  your  past, present  problems one at a time.  First personally define, Write down those things that Bother you, do Number them, and do decide what you can and cannot do abut  them too . Prioritize as well Decide which ones are still important and which ones are no longer important to deal with.
If there are lots of items  you want to change, start by focusing on one or two of the most bothersome or dangerous ones. Don’t try to make too many changes all at once. Don’t merely lump your complaints,  problems together, it can make them seem overwhelming.
 
Remember
Anger and aggression are different. Anger is a temporary emotional state caused by frustration; while aggression is often an attempt to hurt a person or to destroy property.
Anger and aggression do not have to be dirty words. We must be careful to tell the difference between behavior that indicates emotional problems and behavior that is normal. Convert aggression to assertiveness, actions done in love as well.
 
**Writing. There is evidence that writing about stressful events and circumstances may help relieve stress and improve diseases linked to stress.  Write for 10 to 15 minutes a day about an unresolved stressful events and how you felt. One way to use writing to deal with stress is to keep a stressed out journal. This can really help you identify the sources of stress in your life so that you can find better ways to cope with them. 
 
3. Take positive action.  Do review all of your options, such as writing a letter of complaint to the right party, in detail reporting the matter so you do not have to have it repeated on you.
Make sure you have realistic expectations, goals, approaches too. Once you’ve decided what you want to do about a problem, act consistently quickly ,  firmly and follow up on it too.
 
4. Don’t   merely complain about your problems . Continually complaining is wasteful, and seriously for a stat don’t expect only others alone to resolve them, deal with them yourself .
Talk things over with your family and good friends. Look for the positive, possible, practical  solutions.
 
5. Occupy yourself and your mind.  Determine what you can and cannot do, how much time you should spend on it, also do go on with your life
 
Social interaction, alternative activities can help during a time of stress by not continually focusing on the problem
 
*Doing something you enjoy. A meaningful activity helps relieve stress, tension. This can be a hobby, such as gardening; a creative activity, such as writing, crafts, or art; or doing volunteer work for a cause that benefits others. Playing with and caring for pets also can help you relax. Although you may feel that you are too busy, making time to do something you like can help you relax and make you more productive in other areas of your life. 

Good Music therapy can relax your body, improve your mood, and change the pace of your day.   

 

Good Humor therapy Clean Jokes, Comedy, are becoming widely accepted as a tool for reducing stress and boosting the body’s immune system.
 
6. Don’t just blame the other people for your problems and their failure at  Resolving them – be an active part of the solution yourself if need be
Frustrated hostility will accomplish nothing and can only make and feel worse.
 
7. Exercise every day.
Go for a walk and concentrate on your surroundings instead of  just on your problems.
 
8. Maintain a daily routine. even if you are unemployed, retired, but do not get into a continual rut as well
I have often helped many a poor, depressed person, not by any medications, but by  simply by changing their daily normal activity routine, and next by taking them for a drive into the country, or taking them to see a good film, a comedy, or Giving them some good movies to watch, or by me taking them to a fine food restaurant, or by me taking them for a long  walk through unfamiliar surroundings.. and it worked.. it actually next had broke them out of their long term depression.
 
Can’t change positively   the person? try first changing their surroundings, environment temporarily?
A familiar pattern of  daily activates can decrease stress and increase your sense of security. Be willing to make a change once a while as well.
 
9. Avoid taking your problems to bed. Try to forgive and forget.
Clear your mind of the days thoughts so you can get a good night sleep.
 
10. Talk to your adequate health care provider, helper. Pick and choose, for remember there are still good and bad professionals.
She/he can help you find the right agency or person(s) to assist you in coping with stress. 
 
With God on your side you will always be a winner
 
St. Francis of Assisi’s prayer in praise of God
 
You are holy, Lord, the only God,
and Your deeds are wonderful.
You are strong.
You are great.
You are the Most High.
You are Almighty.
You, Holy Father are King of heaven and earth.
You are Three and One, Lord God, all Good.
You are Good, all Good, supreme Good,
Lord God, living and true.
You are love. You are wisdom.
You are humility. You are endurance.
You are rest. You are peace.
You are joy and gladness.
You are justice and moderation.
You are all our riches, and You suffice for us.
You are beauty.
You are gentleness.
You are our protector.
You are our guardian and defender.
You are our courage. You are our haven and our hope.
You are our faith, our great consolation.
You are our eternal life, Great and Wonderful Lord,
God Almighty, Merciful Saviour.
 
do see also 
 
 
Resolving the Conflicts requires still :
 
Admitting, recognizing the stress issue.
Effectively dealing with the issue in a positive manner… For the matters left on their own to be resolved   tend to get worse and not better
 
The instinctive, natural way it seems is merely to immediacy, feel anger, to  express our anger and to to respond  immediately aggressively as well.. not much self control obvious.. as opposed to a planed, deliberate, calculated, thought our approach.
 
When you are angry, you probably feel:

 
This often Aggressive Anger is a  response to  our perceived threats; it inspires powerful, often visible  feelings and behaviors. But we can’t physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and for most of us our own common sense places valid limits on how far our anger can take us.
 
Stop. Consider the consequences. Think before you act. Try to find positive or neutral explanations for what that person did that provoked you.  Learn to recognize what sets you off and how anger feels to you. Learn to think through the benefits of controlling your anger and the consequences of losing control. Control your own  behavior, don’t let anger control you.
 
Identify the problem, problem behavior. Isolate it from the emotions associated with it and evaluate it.  How often does it happen and how long can  it go on?  What is the purpose of the behavior? If it tears down another person, it is abusive.  If you suspect abuse, it’s important to act quickly to stop it. Do not hesitate to bring it into the open, to expose it next to all for what it really is, unacceptable abuse. Get enough fact and feeling information to assess the problem accurately. Restate the problem to make sure you understand it clearly. Figure out alternative solutions to the problem.

 
Anger management  reducing  both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can’t always get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions, and express, act in a positive manner, for the good of all.

 
Set ground rules to prevent emotional abuse, and stick to them. For example, make it clear you will not put up with name-calling, teasing, belittling, intimidating,   provoking, cheating, lying, stealing, bullying, physical abuses, intimidations and you will firmly deal with it too. Living with bad, fighting adolescent siblings is not pleasant. Clearly show all of the  adolescents the cost of fighting is higher than the falsely expected reward.
 
Next  tell of the trouble makers, bad adolescents that while it’s normal to have disagreements, the constant fighting upsets you  and you  value peace at home. You also can  can say they will no longer be the judge and jury over the siblings’, adolescents  disputes, wars  and you merely will not stand for it, put up with it and stand by the resolution with firm action!
 
Timing: use a controlled, well thought out  response to Control the event on your own time, and don’t merely be hastily suckered into facing, dealing with it unprepared. Also now do Give yourself a regular break from the conflicts, stressful situations. Make sure always too you have some “personal time” scheduled for times of the day, the place  that you know are particularly stressful.  One’s Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the set “trap” you seem again to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap. Sometimes it’s our unavoidable immediate surroundings that give us continual, ongoing, unavoidable  cause for irritation and fury. If need be do next Remove yourself permanently from the environment, for your own good health firstly . One does not have to put with with these mostly false conflicts forever.
Set clear consequences for broken rules.  What will happen if they break the rules? For example, one husband told his wife he would no longer spoil his wife, indulge in all of her false whims, desires, but would not merely give her two  alternative choices beforehand, one would lead to a reward, one whole lead to negative personal consequences for her.  Choice one – resolve the conflicts peacefully, amiably.  Or if she continued to cause false problems, fighting he would merely fire her, terminate the relationship, divorce the marriage. He next  was forced to take the second alternative.
 
“One father reported that every time a fight started, he would say to his adolescents, “You’re fighting. I’m leaving.” And then he would go out to work in the yard or take a drive or run an errand — but he simply walked away from the fighting. A mother used a similar tactic. When the fighting began, she said, “Call me when it’s over.” Then she went to her bedroom, slamming the door to emphasize her point. Another parent made his adolescents leave the house when they began fighting. “

In each of these cases, the parents, adolescents  demonstrated that their ongoing fighting would not get their attention and they would not get involved in the fight.
 
Do not hesitate to Remove yourself  from the problem behavioral  person, or remove the root cause of the problem child , adult

 
Instead of doing nothing, which postpones the inevitable anyway. Seek, get sound advice, the valid  opinion of others too. Make a plan, and check your progress along the way. Resolve to give it your best, but also not to punish yourself if an answer doesn’t come right away. If you can approach the conflicts, fight  it with your best intentions and efforts and make a serious attempt to face it head-on, you will be less likely to lose patience and fall into all-or-nothing thinking, even if the problem does not get solved right away.

Remember, you can’t eliminate anger-and it wouldn’t be a good idea if you could. In spite of all your efforts, things will happen that will cause you anger; and sometimes it will be justifiable anger. Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can’t change that; but you can change the way you let such events affect you. Controlling effectively your angry responses can keep them from making you even more unhappy in the long run. 
 
Negative Results of unchecked Sibling Rivalry or Sibling Abuse : Thousands of adult survivors of sibling abuse can readily tell of the far-reaching negative effects that such unchecked behavior has had on them as children and even as adults. For instance, one person, reflecting back on their relationship with   a brother wrote: “I believed EVERYTHING my brother told me. Even if it was lies to make himself look better.  Children and adults often still do wrongfully abuse a brother or sister  to falsely try to  gain power and control.
 
 
If you notice the following signs in a person  over a period of time, the potential for increased unacceptable physical  violence next also exists:

or failing to acknowledge  the abuse of others, 

When you recognize these unacceptable future increased violence warning signs in someone else,   Hoping that someone else will deal with the situation is still false way out.

Be safe. Don’t spend time alone with people who show any of these warning signs and  remove the person from the situation that’s setting them off.

The most important thing to remember is don’t go it alone. Expose the matter to others as well.

a history of violent or aggressive, abnormal . offensive behavior
serious drug or alcohol use
gang membership or strong desire to be in a gang
access to or fascination with weapons, especially guns
threatening others regularly
trouble controlling feelings like anger
withdrawal from friends and normal, usual activities
visibly feeling rejected or alone
having been a victim of bullying, or now being a bully themselves
poor school or job performance
history of discipline problems or frequent run-ins with authority
feeling constantly disrespected
failing to acknowledge the feelings  rights of others

The angered people tend to jump to-and act on-conclusions, and some of those conclusions can be very inaccurate. The first thing to do if you’re in a heated discussion is slow down and think through your responses. Don’t say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow down and think carefully about what you want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.  Listen, too, to what is underlying cause of your  anger. It’s natural to get defensive when you’re criticized, but don’t fight back. Instead, listen to what’s underlying the words: the message that this person might feel neglected and unloved. It may take a lot of patient questioning on your part, and it may require some breathing space, but don’t let your anger-or a partner’s-let a discussion spin out of control. Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.

It’s best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to deal with and to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge. 

Remind yourself that merely getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won’t make you feel better (and may actually make you feel worse). You need to focus on the problem and deal with it effectively;

Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it’s justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic, Such as ” you’re just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Normal  people tend expect : fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness, congenital agreements. The first best attitude to bring to such a problem situation, then, is not to focus on solely now finding the solution, but rather firstly on how you handle and face the problem.

We face a choice  to deal with their angry feelings  such as expressing our anger, suppressing our outrage, and submissiveness, calming Ourselves, controlling our outward behavior, but also controlling our internal responses, taking steps to lower our heart rate, calm yourself down, and letting  the emotional feelings subside.

Assertiveness is expressing our anger in love ,without hurting others. Being assertive here doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.

Anger turned inward may cause next  hypertension, high blood pressure,  a self pity complex, or depression.

” Unexpressed specific anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven’t learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren’t likely to have many successful relationships. ”

muscle tension
accelerated heartbeat
a “knot” or “butterflies” in your stomach
changes in your breathing
trembling
goose bumps
flushed in the face

You can reduce the rush of adrenaline that’s responsible for your heart beating faster, your voice sounding louder, and your fists clenching if you:

Take a few slow, deep breaths and concentrate on your breathing.
Imagine yourself at a better place, the beach, by a lake, or anywhere that makes you feel calm and peaceful.
Try other thoughts or actions that have helped you relax in the past.

“Calm down.”
“I don’t need to prove myself.”
“I’m not going to let him/her get to me.”

In for an inch

 In for an inch often next leads in for a mile. But Alcohol firstly cause permanent personal brain damage, not just the unacceptable fact that Alcohol also now has has the HIGHEST intoxication of ALL consuming  drugs:” The fact is the drug alcohol has the HIGHEST intoxication of ALL drugs (much higher than say meth). That also makes Alcohol the most dangerous drug for both the user/abuser of it and those around the user/abuser of it. Alcohol most dangerous drug for drivers: Recent study. “Driving under the influence of marijuana has a 2X chance of death. Driving just over 0.08 on alcohol has a 40X chance of death. At 0.16 ( its an 80X chance of death according to the same report (I can’t even imagine at 3X what it would be like the well known drunk West Vancouver cop in a BC case). The fact is with the drug alcohol, you can loose the ability to decide if you can drive (i.e. 1st can’t drive, a few more beers, then can fly as all common sense is gone).  It is why the drug alcohol is involved in SO much violence in our society. It is also the biggest date rape drug of them all.” Sadly on top of all that same  people who now do  consume  Alcohol tend often also next  to consume other bad drugs as well, or vice versa. The cycle is continuous. There clearly is no such thing as a little bit pregnant, even the so called moderation next tends to lead to excess, addiction, harm for oneself and many others. As is being done with cigarettes, increasing the consumer costs of the available alcohol is one of the best ways to deal with it   to reduce it’s negative effect. But not the only way. Alcoholics and drug addicts too thus should be terminated from their jobs, and arrested, incarcerated  for any abuse of the laws of the province, country now next too.

 
Showing justice and compassion is rightfully prosecuting all of  the guilty alcohol and drug offenders. It’s also worrying that motorists are continuing to ignore the drink-drive message. ‘The anti-drinking and driving message has to be got across, not just at this time of year but at all times.’

More alcohol use is a concern for health-care professionals, since it means more deaths, illness, injuries and hospital visits, meaning added strain on the health-care system, and additional cost.

 
Paradoxically, despite all the dangers, warnings ,  most people continue to drink beyond safe levels on a weekly basis that is more than 14 units of alcohol for women and 21 units for men. At the heart of this strange contradiction is a false belief, best encapsulated by the former Prime Minister in his introduction to the first national alcohol strategy. In the document, Tony Blair assured readers that “alcohol misuse by a small minority” was responsible for the rising levels of social and health harm. In short, problem drinkers are “other people”, spoiling it for the rest of us. In reality this is not so.. Drinking alcohol  has become too common amongst too many people.
 
It’s also worrying that motorists are continuing to ignore the drink-drive message.
 
Nearly twice as many liquor stores, relatively cheap booze and a pricing system that effectively discounts drinks with more alcohol are contributing to a rise in hazardous drinking, says B.C.’s provincial health officer. The same is true in Alberta and other provinces. A 2003 study found that 79 per cent of youth in school reported drinking at least once by age 17, and 20 per cent of those reported binge drinking three or more days in the previous month. While booze prices have risen in recent years, they have not kept pace with other consumer goods, a trend likely to continue with more competition among stores. Kendall recommends that pricing should reflect alcohol content, with discounts for low-alcohol alternatives and a price premium for stronger drinks. Current pricing creates “clear price incentives for consumers to choose higher-strength alcohol products in all major beverage classes,” As of 2007, government liquor stores accounted for 39 per cent of B.C. sales, with private stores up to 33 per cent. Bars, clubs and restaurants served most of the remainder. B.C.’s biggest average booze consumption occurs in the Interior Health Authority region, which includes the Okanagan and Kootenay regions, at 11 litres of pure alcohol per person per year. Vancouver Island was second at 10.71 litres, and also had the largest increase, 15.2 per cent between 2002 and 2007. Northern Health region was third at 9.73 litres per person, followed by Vancouver Coastal at 8.61 and Fraser, the lowest at 7.03. The Central Coast region of Vancouver Coastal has the highest consumption in the province, 13.69 litres per person in 2007.
 
 A research report providing results from a survey of adult drinking in Northern Ireland has been published .

http://www.bclocalnews.com/bc_north/lakesdistrictnews/news/36589419.html

The survey, conducted on behalf of the Department of Health, Social Services and Public Safety, examines the amount people drink, when, where and what they drink and who they drink with.

 It also examines how drinking behaviours vary across different sections of the public, the proportion of people who binge drink, problem drinking, and perceptions of drinking.

Key Findings

The key findings relating to the Adult Drinking Patterns Survey in Northern Ireland 2008 are:

* More than seven in ten (72%) adults drink alcohol.

* A larger proportion of males (74%) than females (70%) drink alcohol.

* Most drinking occurs over the weekend and peaks on Saturdays.

* The most common drink consumed is wine (50%), closely followed by beer (48%).

* Most of those who drank in the week prior to the survey had consumed alcohol at home (64%), and nearly one quarter (24%) had consumed alcohol in a pub.

* More than four in five (81%) respondents had exceeded the recommended daily limits during the week prior to the survey.

* Approximately four in five males (79%) and females (83%) exceed their recommended daily limits during the week prior to the survey.

* Nearly one quarter (24%) of respondents drank above the weekly sensible levels.

* Over one quarter (26%) of male respondents and over one fifth (22%) of female respondents drank above the weekly sensible levels in the week prior to the survey.

* Nearly a third (32%) of those who drank in the week before the survey had engaged in at least one binge drinking session.

* Males (35%) were more likely than females (29%) to binge drink.

* Over half (54%) of drinkers aged 18-29 years engaged in at least one binge drinking session in the week prior to the survey, and they are more likely to binge drink than respondents in the older groups.

* One in 10 respondents (10%) of those who drank in the week prior to the survey are highly likely to have a problem with alcohol, according to the CAGE analysis.

* Over half (56%) of those who consumed alcohol in the week prior to the survey considered themselves to be light drinkers, two in five (40%) considered themselves to be moderate drinkers and 4% considered themselves to be heavy drinkers.

Comparisons between 2005 and 2008 are:

* The proportion of adults who drank above the weekly sensible levels in the week prior to the survey significantly decreased from 29% in 2005 to 24% in 2008.

* The proportion of adults who engaged in at least one binge drinking session in the week prior to the survey significantly decreased from 38% in 2005 to 32% in 2008.

 

 

 

 

Attitudes To Alcohol Must Change. A health Minister  has called for a change in attitudes towards alcohol by both the public and the drinks industry all year now too. Statistics which show an increase of in the number of people   binge drinking, getting drunk  and that the statistics also show that we still have a long way to deal with this major problem. 81% of people who choose to drink are still exceeding the recommended daily limits. The cost of alcohol misuse to our society is very real. In just over 10 years, there has been a startling 86% increase in the numbers of people dying due to alcohol related harm. “Now, more than ever, we should all be working together to really tackle this issue head on and I believe the drinks industry has a key role to play. Supermarkets in particular sell alcohol far too cheaply. I am extremely disappointed that despite having met with each of the major supermarkets, and received their personal assurances that they take this matter extremely seriously, those words have not as yet translated into meaningful action. “On the contrary, they are flooded with festive drinks promotions that will only encourage people to indulge further in binge drinking. This, in my view, is totally unacceptable.   Action speaks louder than words. On this occasion, profit is being put before public health.”  “The harsh reality is that although alcohol misuse is known to be damaging and harmful to health and well-being, many people still drink to excess. This must change, and in this respect we all have a collective responsibility in tackling this issue – individuals, society, government and the drinks industry alike.”    http://www.emaxhealth.com/2/63/27952/attitudes-alcohol-must-change.html
 
People are drinking more alcohol in many societies than ever before. In the UK, Ireland, Denmark, and increasingly Australia, young people drink more alcohol than those in the USA, France, and other Mediterranean countries. The way in which adolescents drink in different countries also varies. Frequency of drinking, regular drunkenness, binge drinking, and being drunk before the age of 13 years, are all indicators of an unhealthy pattern of alcohol misuse that is becoming more common. So, for example, 27% of UK 15-year-olds admit to drinking at least five drinks in a row in the past 30 days compared with 22% in 1995; in girls, as many as 29% binge drink. In the USA, 19% of 15-year-olds binge drink. Accidental death, self-harm, suicide, injury, violent behaviour, unprotected sex, alcohol dependence, and liver disease can all result. Nearly half of the alcohol drunk by these young people comes from the family home. Supermarkets, local shops, off-licences, pubs, and clubs provide the rest.  http://madhavgopalkrish.wordpress.com/2008/03/22/more-young-people-drink-more/?referer=sphere_related_content/
 
Reality too many of the binge drinkers., if not already are likely to become hard core alcoholics.
do see also 

 

 

“There’s 60 different ways in which alcohol can c ause premature death and illness,”

 

 

Paradoxically, despite all the dangers, warnings ,  most people continue to drink beyond safe levels on a weekly basis that is more than 14 units of alcohol for women and 21 units for men. At the heart of this strange contradiction is a false belief, best encapsulated by the former Prime Minister in his introduction to the first national alcohol strategy. In the document, Tony Blair assured readers that “alcohol misuse by a small minority” was responsible for the rising levels of social and health harm. In short, problem drinkers are “other people”, spoiling it for the rest of us. In reality this is not so.. Drinking alcohol  has become too common amongst too many people.
 
It’s also worrying that motorists are continuing to ignore the drink-drive message.
 
“Make a choice and stick to it – drink or drive. “Don’t drink and drive,”  If you drive at twice the legal alcohol limit you are at least 30 times more likely to cause a road crash than a driver who hasn’t been drinking. If you plan to drive the only safe option is not to drink. Drivers’ reaction times and motoring skills deteriorate after even a small amount of alcohol – and get worse with increased alcohol consumption. If you are convicted for a drink-driving offence you will have a criminal record, lose your licence for a minimum of one year, may go to prison for up to six months, may have to pay a significant fine  and you may have difficulty hiring a car within 10 years of your conviction. If you are convicted of causing death by careless driving while under the influence of drink you face up to 14 years in prison, an unlimited fine and a minimum two-year driving ban. Other consequences include:
-facing exceptionally high insurance costs once you get your licence back.
-loss of a job (15 per cent of those convicted do), legal expenses and loss of personal transport and increased travel expenses.
-living with the knowledge that your irresponsibility has caused death, injury or severe distress to innocent people.

 

 see also https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/11/15/more-booze-taxes-lower-alcohol-linked-deaths/

Biblical Divorce..

 
Note this reality.. like it or not.. believe it or not..
Both fornicators and adulterers are excluded from Heaven. They are pursuing vanities as far as God is concerned..
 
“Have you not known that the unrighteous the reign of God shall not inherit? Be not led astray; neither whoremongers, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, the reign of God shall inherit. And certain of you were these! But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were declared righteous, in the name of the Lord Jesus, and in the Spirit of our God” (1 Cor 6:9).
 
“Paul received his Gospel directly from the Lord Jesus, consequently he was in full agreement with Jesus that there was no legitimacy in any divorce document, and that even when civil courts granted a divorce, divorce did not occur because the marriage union once formed cannot be reversed. 
 
The follower of Christ must flee the divorce courts as quickly as he or she  is told to “flee fornication”
 
Nowhere under the Torah does God withdraw His command to kill adulterers, therefore for the Pharisees to replace it with divorce was to set aside God’s law for their own traditions… the death penalty was still being carried out under Roman rule,
 
Like Jesus, Paul regarded all marriages, Christian and non-Christian, as irreversible. Only the death of one of the partners can separate a married couple. Remarriage, Jesus pointed out, only multiplies adulteries. There are no innocent parties if both spouses believe that by getting a divorce they have untied their marriage knot and are free to remarry. Jesus puts the blame on the spouse (the wife or husband) who initiates the divorce. The initiator is the guilty person, but the other spouse is just as guilty if they agree to it.
 
To believe that divorce actually annuls a legitimate marriage is to oppose Jesus’ teaching on marriage. To then obtain a divorce and remarry is to sin against the Lord Jesus and God. All divorces are sinful actions if those who obtain them believe that they annul their legitimate marriages. All remarriages are adulterous relationships while both spouses are still alive.”
 
I find it hypocritical; that bad pastors try to falsely justify both divorce and alcoholism  even today  as well, both of which are clearly against the Bible’s teachings
 
Now having said all that there is the spirit of the law, where God will allow a spouse to be deceived, to file for divorce, and obtain it, to stop the past cruel. vindictive punishment of the other innocent spouse by the continuation of the marriage. This in reality is still a legal separation. There is still no right of remarriage… and basically why? Most divorce people if they do remarry will face another painful divorce… a pain that God does not  want them to go through again.. but why will they face divorce.. lazy and unrealistic now  they still have not learned what it takes to have a good marriage for a start.. you need to put God first.. for unless the Lord builds the house they labour in vain..
 
Marriage  is still for life.  Due to the inability of fallen man to live up to the truth about marriage, divorce was introduced by man to cope with his selfish nature. His incapacity to forgive freely, as God forgives his transgressions, contributed to the emergence of divorce among mankind. It did not come from God. It is not part of truth. It opposes truth. Jesus reconfirmed, reintroduced mankind to the original instruction on the permanency of marriage
 
The Majority of professing Christians still do not live by Faith in God and his word so that still makes them out to be unsaved, non Christians.
  
The ends seem to justify the means for some. In the secular world it is common to contact your employer to try to put pressure on you when you disagree with a corporation, but in the religious world it is an unacceptable  common ploy for bad undeniably pastors with no fear and accountably as well  too often to try meddle into your family affairs, to try to seduce,  counsel your own wife behind your back and knowledge, trying to divide and conquer as many persons have told  me, they had the same bad experiences too, me included. 
We all need to stop listening to mere men’s opinions, listening to mere men, whether they even be elders, pastors and all get back to listening to God, and to listening, obeying his words..  the false advocates of divorce usually will be from an unbiblical humanist and/or feminist point of view especially if they are both unbelievers. and since most pastors do not use the Bible in counseling their advice of course is too often wrong and unbiblical still as well.
 
 
 THIS IS SPIRITUAL ABUSE!
 
  ”It has not been and is not now my choice. The divorce and alienation of my family has been forced upon me and upon my family by evil men who would have their way with a man, his wife, and his children and grandchildren in order to promote and protect their own preeminence in lieu of protecting and building up the holy institution of marriage and family life.”  Divorce falsely supported  by evangelicals, dispensationalist brethren included..
  
    
 The kind of abuse that Jesus condemned over and over again in the strongest ways possible!
  
Generally these days it is the wife who wrongfully files for divorce ,and  before that it used to be the men.  These days the too often dirty lawyers who make blood money from divorce, are wolves in sheep clothing now picturing themselves and  the spouse to the courts, as good persons, decent, honest, relaible, falsely claiming her now to be a totally good , honest person, and not another typical  liar too.
 
The lawyers who tend to be too often liars themselves they like to present the female spouse before the Queen’s courts, before the supposedly reputable judge, who in my witness, experiences actual too often is also now a liar, pretender himself, a person  who does not get off the bench cause he is too lazy to ascertain the truth of the facts being presented to him or her.
 
The lawyers like to present the wife as a decent, respected, good, moral person who now has provided faithfully  for her husband, she did not, does not abuse any them not even her bad  husband, she does not cheat, lie or steal now as well.
 
The still mostly  liars like to present her as an a good person, whereas more likely in reality  she also is another demon. In fact men and women tend to be equal sinners, before God and man. In fact the same spouse she likely has slandered, lied, committed adultery, even stole from her spouse and now she will keep on lying, perjuring herself hoping next to get a good alimony support from her spouse.
 
Many a person  when they see these people divorcing they really tend next not to recognize them and their behavior, for it clearly is different from what they had known before, were used too in fact.  
 
All of a sudden clearly new now  openly monsters here have arisen.  In reality  the wife is not the mostly   innocent, the sole injured party and the husband is not the sole bad guy, villain too.
 
All of these mostly immoral,  lying now people, spouses, laywers, judges tend to first need decent, real, pastoral counseling themselves.
 
  Christian Lies, Divorce And/or  Christian Divorce  Remarriage, (as well as adultery, fornication , Alcoholism, drugs, smoking, gays)  In the Christian Church are ALL still unacceptable.
 
Some of the reasons that relationships and even marriages fail are unrealistic expectations, greed, lies,  laziness and a spouse has false personal values, false assumptions, -the myth of the greener grass, and also the inablity to handle the sheer pace, stress of  of life. And for sure sexual infidelity will tend to kill a marriage, be an immediate grounds for a divorce too.
 
Note the reality of a life of  Vanity..
 
 (Lev 26:20 KJV)  And your strength shall be spent in vain: for your land shall not yield her increase, neither shall the trees of the land yield their fruits.
 
(2 Ki 17:15 KJV)  And they rejected his statutes, and his covenant that he made with their fathers, and his testimonies which he testified against them; and they followed vanity, and became vain, and went after the heathen that were round about them, concerning whom the LORD had charged them, that they should not do like them.
   
(Job 11:11 KJV)  For he knoweth vain men: he seeth wickedness also; will he not then consider it?
 
(Psa 2:1 KJV)  Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thing?
 
(Psa 26:4 KJV)  I have not sat with vain persons, neither will I go in with dissemblers.
 
(Psa 33:17 KJV)  An horse is a vain thing for safety: neither shall he deliver any by his great strength.
 
(Psa 60:11 KJV)  Give us help from trouble: for vain is the help of man.
 
(Psa 89:47 KJV)  Remember how short my time is: wherefore hast thou made all men in vain?
 
(Psa 119:113 KJV)   I hate vain thoughts: but thy law do I love.
 
(Psa 127:1 KJV)   Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
 
(Psa 127:2 KJV)  It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.
 
(Prov 12:11 KJV)  He that tilleth his land shall be satisfied with bread: but he that followeth vain persons is void of understanding.
 
(Prov 31:30 KJV)  Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
 
(Eccl 6:12 KJV)  For who knoweth what is good for man in this life, all the days of his vain life which he spendeth as a shadow? for who can tell a man what shall be after him under the sun?
 
(Isa 1:13 KJV)  Bring no more vain oblations; incense is an abomination unto me; the new moons and sabbaths, the calling of assemblies, I cannot away with; it is iniquity, even the solemn meeting.
 
(Isa 30:7 KJV)  For the Egyptians shall help in vain, and to no purpose: therefore have I cried concerning this, Their strength is to sit still.
 
(Isa 45:19 KJV)  I have not spoken in secret, in a dark place of the earth: I said not unto the seed of Jacob, Seek ye me in vain: I the LORD speak righteousness, I declare things that are right.
 
(Isa 65:23 KJV)  They shall not labour in vain, nor bring forth for trouble; for they are the seed of the blessed of the LORD, and their offspring with them.
 
(Jer 2:5 KJV)  Thus saith the LORD, What iniquity have your fathers found in me, that they are gone far from me, and have walked after vanity, and are become vain?
 
(Jer 3:23 KJV)  Truly in vain is salvation hoped for from the hills, and from the multitude of mountains: truly in the LORD our God is the salvation of Israel.
 
(Jer 4:14 KJV)  O Jerusalem, wash thine heart from wickedness, that thou mayest be saved. How long shall thy vain thoughts lodge within thee?
 
(Jer 4:30 KJV)  And when thou art spoiled, what wilt thou do? Though thou clothest thyself with crimson, though thou deckest thee with ornaments of gold, though thou rentest thy face with painting, in vain shalt thou make thyself fair; thy lovers will despise thee, they will seek thy life.
 
(Jer 23:16 KJV)  Thus saith the LORD of hosts, Hearken not unto the words of the prophets that prophesy unto you: they make you vain: they speak a vision of their own heart, and not out of the mouth of the LORD.
 
(Jer 46:11 KJV)  Go up into Gilead, and take balm, O virgin, the daughter of Egypt: in vain shalt thou use many medicines; for thou shalt not be cured.
 
(Jer 50:9 KJV)  For, lo, I will raise and cause to come up against Babylon an assembly of great nations from the north country: and they shall set themselves in array
 
(Lam 4:17 KJV)  As for us, our eyes as yet failed for our vain help: in our watching we have watched for a nation that could not save us.
 
(Ezek 13:7 KJV)  Have ye not seen a vain vision, and have ye not spoken a lying divination, whereas ye say, The LORD saith it; albeit I have not spoken?
 
(Zec 10:2 KJV)  For the idols have spoken vanity, and the diviners have seen a lie, and have told false dreams; they comfort in vain: therefore they went their way as a flock, they were troubled, because there was no shepherd.
 
(Mal 3:14 KJV)  Ye have said, It is vain to serve God: and what profit is it that we have kept his ordinance, and that we have walked mournfully before the LORD of hosts?
 
(Mat 15:9 KJV)  But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.
 
(Mark 7:7 KJV)  Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.
 
(Rom 1:21 KJV)  Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.
 
(1 Cor 3:20 KJV)  And again, The Lord knoweth the thoughts of the wise, that they are vain.
 
(1 Cor 15:2 KJV)  By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain.
 
(Eph 5:6 KJV)  Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.
 
(Phil 2:16 KJV)  Holding forth the word of life; that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, that I have not run in vain, neither laboured in vain.
 
(Col 2:8 KJV)  Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.
 
(1 Tim 6:20 KJV)  O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called:
 
(2 Tim 2:16 KJV)  But shun profane and vain babblings: for they will increase unto more ungodliness.
 
(Titus 1:10 KJV)  For there are many unruly and vain talkers and deceivers, specially they of the circumcision:
 
(Titus 3:9 KJV)  But avoid foolish questions, and genealogies, and contentions, and strivings about the law; for they are unprofitable and vain.
 
(James 1:26 KJV)  If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain.
 
(James 4:5 KJV)  Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy?
 
  
 
 

The Marriages that slide downward go through these stages: romance, reality, resentment, unforgiveness – bitterness  and rebellion – divorce.

still excludes the common realty also that bad friends, bad relatives, others do work hard to break up the marriages too….

Key steps that help to break this cycle and to change marriages are for a start…

First, open your life fully to God. (Luke 6:27). Without God in control of your life these days it is likely your marriage ALSO  next will fail

-Second, follow God’s ways continually. (Ephesians 5:1)

– Honor each other: be faithful and committed, recognize the dignity and special worth of all others, admire, affirm and celebrate each other, and avoid continual fault-finding.

Our personal beliefs and feelings toward people tend to follow what we believe about them. A judgment is MY interpretation of someone’s life at a point in time, it still doesn’t give the whole picture and becomes a label by which I narrowly view and interpret that person. What are some reasons some people too often “put-down” or judge  others rather than affirm, accept them with Christ’s unconditional love? They firstly do not have the real love themselves. They likely come from troubled, divorced homes or are in a troubled marriage, home.

“A love that cherishes is patient and kind (1 Cor. 13:4). To be patient means “to take a long time to boil” and is the opposite of rudeness and irritability. Patience celebrates  our strengths and validates our uniqueness. Kindness involves being gentle, sensitive, considerate, thoughtful and helpful to make life easier for the other person. 

Love delights…

Such love enjoys giving attention to the other, spending time together. (Eccl. 9:9) Such love enjoys expressing affection to the other, including sexual intimacy for those who are married.(1 Corinthians 7:2-5). Such love enjoys growing spiritually with the other, together opening our lives to God  and praying, together getting to know Him better and together following His ways.

(2 Peter 3:18).

“How incredible it would be if in all of our relationships–with God, with our husbands and wives, with our families and with our friends–we could experience great delight!” (Schorr Line, May 29, 2009) Centre Street Church is affiliated with the Evangelical Missionary Church of Canada  http://www.cschurch.ca/

 

(Matthew 19:1 KJV)    And it came to pass, that when Jesus had finished these sayings, he departed from Galilee, and came into the coasts of Judaea beyond Jordan;
2  And great multitudes followed him; and he healed them there.
3  The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
4  And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
5  And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
6  Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
7  They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
8  He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
9  And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
10  His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
11  But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.
12  For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

http://postedat.wordpress.com/2010/09/26/marriage-problems-or-a-realtionship-problem/

 

Anti suicide watch..

 
Serious Anti suicide watch..
 
1: Not personally getting enough qualitative sleep.. it is not just how much sleep you get, minimum 8 hours, but how well you sleep that also counts. Valid Experts recommend that adults get between seven and eight hours of sleep each night to maintain good health and optimum performance.
   
2: Not personally now getting proper food intake can also lead to severe depression and very poor health next, severe health problems.. skipping out on meals..
 
3: Activity rut.. many people who have now set into  a none changing activities, environments, a habitual routine, are  next prone to be seriously depressed and they do not even know why?  Taking a new,  totally different activity, or making a personal life schedule change is often the same as a beneficial vacation for some persons.. even many professionals, college professors..
 
4: Many college students show clear classical sign of depression after being in school for a long period of time, working hard. 
 
5: Many people get depressed when they get older, and lose a lot of friends, and have no one to talk to , just listening to them for a few minutes a day will really help them too. 
 
6: Many people get depressed because they are being falsely enslaved, oppressed, bullied by the bad persons.  Or they have too often listened to the bad advice  of others.
  
7: Poverty or even the opposite of having too much wealth can lead to thoughts of suicide, because of one’s inability to deal with the present circumstances effectively. Often brought on by too much self reliance.
 
8: Persons who are overly lazy, unrealistic, have or follow a wrong value system, ill advised goals, continue to  do bad things, they will next be easily depressed too. Ironically they will next often  blame others for their depressions, bash others for it too.
 
I have often helped many a poor, depressed person, not by any medications, but by  simply by changing their daily normal activity routine, and next by taking them for a drive into the country, or taking them to see a good film, a comedy, or Giving them some good movies to watch, or by me taking them to a fine food restaurant, or by me taking them for a long  walk through unfamiliar surroundings.. and it worked.. it actually next had broke them out of their long term depression.
 
Can’t change positively   the person? try first changing their surroundings, environment temporarily?
 
Most depressed persons,  about 75 percent,  can be helped with out more serious medical consultations it seem.
 
 Do now also read the many other helpful posts, links here as well.. 
 
Drink Alcohol and Die  is wrongfully fast becoming North America’s preoccupation, main goal, slogan  https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2009/01/02/alcholics-sleep/    

Did you yourself now know the major cause of depressions and suicides., despair include.. you might be depressed seriously and not even know it too… 

  Feeling down from time to time is a normal part of life. But when sadness takes hold and won’t go away, it may be depression. More than just the temporary “blues,” the lows of depression make it tough to function and enjoy life like you once did. A person with severe depression has little or no interest in work or hobbies, and may even have trouble getting out of bed.  With treatment and help, you can feel better. Learning how to understand depression – including its signs, symptoms, and causes – is the first step towards next honestly,  realistically recognizing and overcoming the root main problem, causes and not just trying suppress or to deal with the symptoms..

Depression is a major risk factor for suicide. There is a slow suicide approach as well, even brought on by ongoing  problems, self pity, guilt, persecutions, oppressions Recognition of the problem can immediately  lead to 90 percent of the solution.  http://pbulow.tripod.com/    

While DEPRESSION is one of the most common mental illnesses even caused often mostly by external factors,  it  often can easily be cured, dealt with if not neglected, and it is rarely fatal thus. 

RESULTING PERSONAL DEPRESSION ITSELF IS basically CAUSED by biochemical imbalances in the brain involving the hormone cortisol and the neurotransmitters serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine. The tendency toward this chemical imbalance can be inherited, causing depression to run in families. A deep emotional loss may also trigger biochemical changes that cause depression. Or the brain chemistry can change for no apparent reason.

Other diseases, including thyroid conditions, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, hormonal imbalances, multiple sclerosis and some forms of cancer, can cause depression. Usually, treating the underlying diseases relieves the depression?

People suffering from chronic illnesses such as arthritis or heart disease may develop depression. For them, treating the depression often makes it easier to cope with the other chronic illness?

While virtually anyone can develop depression, the people most likely to do so include—

  • Relatives of depressed people, who are about twice as likely as average to become seriously depressed themselves

  • Women, who suffer depression about twice as often as men

  • The baby boom seniors,  generation, currently considered at greatest risk of all age groups

  • The elderly, often as a reaction to physical deterioration and the loss of friends, families and rewarding activities

  • Children who have suffered abuse or losses or who have a seriously depressed parent

  • Chronically ill people

  • Drug and alcohol abusers

TREATMENTS FOR DEPRESSION typically have high success rates, especially when recognized, admitted, PROPERLY DIAGNOSED.  While only a third of people suffering from depression seek treatment, about 85 percent of those who receive adequate treatment have good results. It is ironic many people who too often mainly see others as  being the sole cause of their own problems fail to see their own effective, proper solutions to it. We need not to lose a proper self perspective, solution now as well.

 Britain has one of the highest suicide rates in Europe. Each year in the UK over 5000 people take their life. The Samaritans estimate that in the UK there is a suicide every 82 minutes. The charity Depression Alliance estimates that each year there are around 19,000 suicide attempts by UK adolescents whilst more than 2 million children attend GP’s surgeries with some kind of psychological or emotional problem.Each day, two people under the age of 24 commit suicide. 

People kill themselves for a variety of reasons. Sometimes drugs and alcohol are a factor, as are social factors, poverty, deprivation, mental illness,  or  “psychiatric injury”. The difference is important because injury has an external cause – in other words, something – or someone – is liable. The differences between mental illness and psychiatric injury are often not recognized; understanding the differences could alter the verdict, perhaps from suicide to manslaughter. To see the differences between mental illness and psychiatric injury.  Psychiatric injury- Bullying, harassment and abuse cause injury to health, which is often diagnosed as stress and anxiety but may also include severe depression. http://www.bullyonline.org/stress/suicide.htm

We also all do need to learn to deal effectively and not by an ostrich approach with unresolved stress, life’s problems, Bullies and much more..  https://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/

There is no single cause for depression. Many factors play a role including genetics, environment, life events, medical conditions, and the way people react to things that happen in their lives.

 How Is Depression Different From Regular Sadness?

Everyone has some ups and downs, and sadness is a natural emotion. The normal stresses of life can lead anyone to feel sad every once in a while. Things like an argument with a friend, a breakup, doing poorly on a test, not being chosen for a team, or a best friend moving out of town can lead to feelings of sadness, hurt, disappointment, or grief. These reactions are usually brief and go away with a little time and care.

Take the time to read all of  the pages here, it will help you or someone else.

http://stayinhealth.wordpress.com/2008/11/21/anti-suicide-watch/

Understanding Depression

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm

 There’s a vast difference between “feeling depressed” and suffering from clinical depression. The despondency of clinical depression is unrelenting and overwhelming. Some people describe it as “living in a black hole” or having a feeling of impending doom. They can’t escape their unhappiness and despair. However, some people with depression don’t feel sad at all. Instead, they feel lifeless and empty. In this apathetic state, they are unable to experience pleasure. Even when participating in activities they used to enjoy, they feel as if they’re just going through the motions. The signs and symptoms vary from person to person, and they may wax and wane in severity over time. Doing nothing about it generaly makes it worse next. 

Why Do People Get Depressed? 

I am too busy to have time to have a depression or to deal with my depression is not a realistic  approach as well. 

Take the time to read all of  the pages here, it will help you or someone else. Life requires our personal positive continual adaptation to the ongoing, changing events that surround our life. 

 http://stayinhealth.wordpress.com/2008/11/21/anti-suicide-watch/