More about Control freaks. Fears too.
Most all of you have had to contend with control freaks and they are found everywhere, in Corporations, at home, in churches too.. These are those people who insist on having their way in all interactions with you. They wish to set the agenda and decide what it is you will do and when you will do it. You know who they are – they have a driving need to run the show and call the shots. Lurking within the fabric of the conversation is the clear threat that if you do not accede to their needs and demands, they will be unhappy.. and they will delete your post…
While in reality God has made us all equal, and GAVE US ALL MOUTHS WE CAN SPEAK WITH, EARS TO LISTEN, it seems some people, in churches, on the net, elsewhere, they still wrongfully do think they are better than others, or want to dominate others, do try to give orders to others, do try to make rules for others that they too often themselves do not follow too, they are in fact still bullies.. and now why is that? and who do they think they are now that they are so special? Mere fools. They mostly have a hidden agenda, they are falsely seeking fame, power, control, a position of prestige, for they are immoral slave drivers trying to walk on the back of others.
I have already mentioned it to you rightfully and often too before that I often get letters from some persons telling me what I can and cannot write on their sites, rather them wanting to write all of my posts too it seems. Many disturbed persons are now disturbed by the contents of my posts, so these ostriches try to find a false excuse not to deal with it, and try to instead falsely delete it. The control freaks emotional stakes includes their own identity and sense of well-being. Being in control gives them the temporary illusion and sense of calmness, a false feeling of superiority. and what fools they are when in reality they are so far from it now too.
Certainly, it’s natural to want to be in control of your life. But when you have to be in control of the people around you as well, well you have gone crazy, become a fool, a demonic controlled person who can’t rest until you get your way and you are headed down a very bumpy ride, it is easier to try to control yourself, and impossible to control all the others.
(1 Cor 9:27 KJV) But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.
Is 51:23 ..your tormentors {and} oppressors, those who said to you, Bow down, that we may ride {or} tread over you; and you have made your back like the ground and like the street for them to pass over
Is 55:7 Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return to the Lord, and He will have love, pity, {and} mercy for him, and to our God, for He will multiply to him His abundant pardon. 8 For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord. 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.
Is 56:10 watchmen are blind, they are all without knowledge; they are all dumb dogs, they cannot bark; dreaming, lying down, they love to slumber.
The need to control is almost always fueled by anxiety – though control freaks seldom recognize their fears. At work, they may worry about failure. In relationships, they may worry about not having their needs met. To keep this anxiety from overwhelming them, they try to control the people or things around them. They have a hard time with negotiation and compromise and they can’t stand imperfection. Needless to say, they are difficult to live with, work with and/or socialize with.
For being nice. kind, friendly to a really bad person is still also a complete waste of time, for they will not change their negative behaviors on their own, they see no reasons to do so now still too. Sad but true.
We cannot never control a bad person, a drug addict or an alcoholic, but we can learn all about it and learn firstly to control our own behavior, appropriate responses –including how we should behave in the relationship with the sick and suffering and /or possibly manipulative addict or alcoholic, abuser OR THESE pretentious persons..
Public exposure and prosecution of the guilty persons seems to be most effective way that works for everyone’s benefit in dealing with the bad acts of others still.
(Job 28:28 KJV) And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding.
(2 Chr 19:7 KJV) Wherefore now let the fear of the LORD be upon you; take heed and do it: for there is no iniquity with the LORD our God, nor respect of persons, nor taking of gifts
(Psa 19:9 KJV) The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring for ever: the judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether.
(Psa 34:11 KJV) Come, ye children, hearken unto me: I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
(Psa 111:10 KJV) The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endureth for ever.
(Prov 1:7 KJV) The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
(Prov 1:29 KJV) For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the LORD:
(Prov 8:13 KJV) The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate.
(Prov 9:10 KJV) The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.
(Prov 10:27 KJV) The fear of the LORD prolongeth days: but the years of the wicked shall be shortened.
(Prov 14:27 KJV) The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death.
(Prov 15:16 KJV) Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble therewith.
(Prov 15:33 KJV) The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom; and before honour is humility.
(Prov 19:23 KJV) The fear of the LORD tendeth to life: and he that hath it shall abide satisfied; he shall not be visited with evil.
(Prov 23:17 KJV) Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the LORD all the day long.
(Isa 33:6 KJV) And wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability of thy times, and strength of salvation: the fear of the LORD is his treasure.
(Acts 9:31 KJV) Then had the churches rest throughout all Judaea and Galilee and Samaria, and were edified; and walking in the fear of the Lord, and in the comfort of the Holy Ghost, were multiplied.
now that all should be adequate food for thought..
I believe in all things work for the best for those who love God, but I rebuke all evil persons rightfully still.. I do not accept rightfully their abuse of others. Here is my reality.. Control freaks are demonic persons, led by the devil, who try to bring us into bondage, and they tend to get a lot more crazy, get a lot worse..
It is amazing to me that Christian Men have the same power trip over women as Muslim men, and do they beat them as well?
And here it is also very interesting to note that of the main issue in many persons comparative religion issues on the net on the major religions it boiled down as to how they treat women rather still.. and how they do allow divorce too..
Most people cannot and will not next change positively on their own without God’s input, help
they cannot change in their own negative ways, for they are too set in them now too.
Jesus has set me free.. from even being hooked to sins, and also from the bondage, the false oppression, enslavement by others.. sadly many other people want to be still enslaved but not me, I have really experienced freedom, I know what it is like, and I want to maintain my full freedom by God’s permission, help, now too. When I think about being set free I often do think about two images, visions that God has given me typically.. an all black, dark picture that turns to a normal scenery… and a picture of a large snake coming at me the size of a train which next disappears instead..
Can a Person change themselves? Is there hope for anyone? Only if they follow God’s rules!! Accepting Jesus! and we all should look at the calendar.. 2008 ad.. 2008 years after the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ… so undeniably of an event it even changed the calendar history too.
Trying to help an abuser? Establish clear, simple to follow Boundaries, Set Limits, Set detachment. One example of setting a boundary is telling a close friend, a loved one that you prefer they not be around you if they are smoking, drunk or high. Notice that it is specific demand, and you have to sit down and communicate this type of request explicitly with that someone. Setting a boundary like this is difficult because there is this tendency to hurt other’s feelings. But that is part of what is keeping you ineffective- your caring more about this person’s feelings than your own personal well being. Setting boundaries is about putting your own personal well being and even that of others first, and letting that be a guiding example of how to live. You know you are setting effective boundaries when you are taking back control of your own life firstly and starting to regain your own sanity-instead of being all wrapped up in the problems of a struggling smoker, rebel, drug addict or alcoholic.
“Here are some things that you can do in order to practice detachment with the struggling pervert in your life:
-Don’t do things that they should be doing themselves.
-Don’t bend over backwards to rescue them or save them from natural consequences.
-Don’t cover up for their mistakes or embarrassing situations.
-Don’t rescue them from crisis or financial situations.
-Don’t try to fix them.
-Let go of any guilt you may have about them
Detachment is not about denying your emotions. If someone close to you dies, for example, you will probably feel sad. You can’t choose this feeling. It simply is. But we do have the power to affect the intensity of this feeling, by focusing on the positive aspects of the situation. We can also change our thinking in an attempt to eradicate irrational beliefs that might be contributing to our emotional turmoil.
The goal is not to go without emotions, the goal is to achieve some level of emotional stability. We are detaching from the negative, irrational thoughts that stir up our emotions-like the guilt we might have if we think someone’s perversity, addiction is our fault.
Prayer and Detachment are difficult and takes practice but it helps the whole works..
I really often do try to learn from the many diverse experiences I encounter in life, to be able to deal with them more effectively and to be able to help, share more simply with any others even the solutions as well as to what I have experienced and what I have learned now as well..
http://alabaxterblog.wordpress.com/2008/08/15/the-answer-to-abuse/
Sibling rivalry, war is as old as the children of Adam and Eve and is too often recorded now as a sin in the Bible as well that has negative consequences on the persons involved and even others.
The real sad part is that many adults play also this false game still too.. Conquer and destroy!
Sibling rivalry can also be caused by proximity in age. Research suggests that siblings that are within two years’ age of one another tend to have more sibling rivalry than other siblings. Ultimately, sibling rivalry is often caused not only by by blocked goals but by poor personal communication skills, bad or extreme values, just like almost any other sorts of adult conflicts and wars
There are many factors that contribute to sibling rivalry:
-Past and present neglect of the siblings by the parents will top it all.. there are overarching sorts of factors and events that can be, ultimately, the root causes of any sibling rivalry. Knowing what these important factors and events are can help you to not only understand the causes of sibling rivalry, but to deal with sibling rivalry more effectively when it does occur. Some of the most common causes of sibling rivalry tends to be jealousy or selfishness.
-Each child, person is mostly competing to define who they are as an individual. As they discover who they are, they try to find their own talents, activities, and interests. They want to show that they are separate from their siblings.
-Rejected Children, Adults too feel they are getting unequal amounts of your attention, discipline, and responsiveness.
-Children often may feel their relationship with their parents is threatened by the arrival of a new baby.
-A children’s and an Adult’s developmental stages affect how well they can share your attention and get along with one another.
-Children and adults who are hungry, bored or tired, nervous, stressed out are more likely to start fights.
- Too many Children, adults too do not know positive ways to get attention from their brother or sister, so they pick fights.
- Family dynamics play a serious role here as well when one of the parent neglect one of their children, or shows a false favoring, partiality,. We are reminded this happened in the biblical account of Joseph and his brothers due to his new coat of many colors,
- Children, adults will fight more with each other in families where there is no set bounders, understanding that their fighting is not an acceptable way to resolve conflicts.
- All Families that don’t share enjoyable times together will probably have more family conflict next exasperated by a jealous immoral, insecure, poor self esteem spouse(s) of the siblings now too
- Unresolved Stress, poor health in the parent’s lives will often decrease the amount of still need attention parents give the children and thus increase the sibling rivalry.
- Stress in the children’s lives will next shorten their fuses, and create more conflict, cause significant home, community and even health problems as well
So how the good and bad parents do now still treat their kids, children and how they do now react to conflict will make a big difference in how well siblings get along.
The degree of existence of sibling rivalry, young offenders, gangs tends to show how good of a parent, manager, administrator now you really were, are.
2 Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.
3 Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.
4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
5 Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy?
6 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.
7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
9 Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness.
10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.
11 Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.
12 There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?
13 Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain:
14 Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.
15 For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.
16 But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil.
17 Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.
5:1 Go to now, ye rich men, weep and howl for your miseries that shall come upon you.
2 Your riches are corrupted, and your garments are motheaten.
3 Your gold and silver is cankered; and the rust of them shall be a witness against you, and shall eat your flesh as it were fire. Ye have heaped treasure together for the last days.
- Tell them that being self centered, selfish, concerned only about their own needs, desires is still an unacceptable sin, negative approach.
- Don’t play favorites or refuse to forgive, do not take sides as well. Your children need to learn that you will do your best to meet each of their unique needs.
- Never compare your children.
- Don’t typecast. Let each child be who they are. Don’t try to pigeonhole or label them
- Set your kids up to cooperate rather than compete.
- Teach your kids positive ways to get attention from each other.
- Don’t yell or lecture. It really won’t help at all..
- Listen—really listen—to how your children feel about what’s going on in the family. and next also act upon it positively. They seek the parent’s help first often, They may not be so demanding if they know you at least care how they feel. “When parents falsely unwisely crash, jump into sibling spats, they often protect one child (usually the younger sibling) against the other (usually the older one). This escalates the conflict, because the older child resents the younger, and the younger feels that they can get away with more since the parent is “on their side.” “
- Celebrate your children’s differences, positive aspects and not mainly their negatives.
- Let each child know they are still unique and special— accept them, you love and care for them, just for whom they are.
- Encourage win-win negotiations, where each side gains something.
- If you are constantly angry at your kids, no wonder they are angry at each other! Anger feeds on itself. Learn to manage your anger, so you can teach your children how to manage theirs.
- learn, Teach conflict resolution skills during calm times.
- Personally Model good conflict resolution skills for your kids.
- Try to Involve your children in setting ground rules.
- Enforced Ground rules, with clear and consistent consequences for breaking them, can help prevent many squabbles.
-They fight because they want a parent’s or other person’s attention, especially where the parent has only so much time, attention and patience to give.
-They fight because they are selfish, jealous: “He got a new bike. I didn’t. They must love him more than they love me.”
-They even fight over ordinary teasing which is a way of testing the effects of behavior and words on another person: “He called me…” “But she called me…first.”
-They fight because they are growing up in a competitive, aggressive, self centered, worldly, dog eat dog, society that falsely teaches them that to get it, to win is to be better than to be the loser. ”I saw it first.” “I beat you to the water.”
As a parent, do you:
-Set aside some time to be alone with each child?
-Recognize that each child is different?
-Make sure your adolescents realize they are each unique and have a special set of strengths?
-Praise adolescents for being who they are and not just for what they can do?
-Avoid initiating competition among children?
-Realize adolescents and younger children need to be given the right also to decide not to share at least some of the time?
-Be sure older children are not usually forced to give in to younger ones because “he’s little” or “she doesn’t know better?”
-Talk positively to the adolescents about their fighting?
-Falsely encourage, promote the sibling fighting?
How to deal with the Negative circumstances in your life..
Many professing Christian persons still do have concerns such as “Teach me how to pray for healing?” or ” I Prayed for healing but nothing happened yet?”
It is firstly important to remember that the right of praying for healing in Jesus name by faith in God’s word, his written promise to us is the Children’s bread only, meaning this right belongs to all real genuine Christians, not to secular or still ungodly persons basically. Secondly if you prayed for healing, and nothing happen first give it some time, secondly pray again till you do next get the healing, even pray to find out why the healing has not happened..
Now I know very specifically that I with 2 other church elders had prayed in a specific period for 28 people to be healed, and yet next only half were undeniably healing, but God there at the same time had revealed simultaneously to all three of us the same reasons, obstacles as to why the other persons were still not healed, including their unconfessed major sins, personal inadequacies that had to be dealt with, and in some of those cases next we prayed again for the same persons and they were healed or delivered from their bondage, sicknesses.
If you are a false teacher, a false prophet, and there are much too many of them in the Christian, secular environment, do not basically expect God firstly and rightfully to hear your prayers.. even for healing. You rather need first to get right with God yourself.
Phil 4:4 KJV) Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice.
More Wine does not prevent Cancers, nor does being a drunk, or smoking, doing bad drugs prolong ones health too.. Only Jesus does..
I can honestly say that the worse things that had happened to me in my own life next had turned out to be the best thing for me.. they caused me to grow spiritually and to grow closer to the Lord too, and we know that all things work for the good for those who love God..
(2 Cor 1:3 KJV) Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
(2 Cor 1:4 KJV) Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
(2 Cor 1:5 KJV) For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.
(2 Cor 1:6 KJV) And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation.
(2 Cor 1:7 KJV) And our hope of you is stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation.
1 response so far ↓
thenonconformer // September 4, 2009 at 12:10 am |
GET REAL NOW
August 31, 2009 by thenonconformer
One of the Top Posts for past few days..
http://postedat.wordpress.com/2009/08/31/get-real-now/
http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/07/07/control-freaks/
http://postedat.wordpress.com/2009/08/23/to-the-bad-preacher/
The WRONGFULLY STILL Unrepentant bully’s problem is that he or she is one of those bad persons who only feels truly alive when voicing hostility and contempt for his “enemies.” Without that, he or she starts gasping for air. It’s his nature.. self-destructive” .. clearly these immoral Bully, Basher of others, Abusers of others has a disappointed, deflated ego, negative self worth, most likely related to past unresolved guilt, as a result of that the bully, he or she, tries falsely to build their ego up by bashing, hating others, by being an antagonists against his proclaimed enemies, which too often also is most people , for he or she no longer trust anyone, and Abusers this is a common very typical approach, fact in the character build up of Bullies, Bashers, but their approach is futile, the subsequent feeling of self worth dissipates too quickly, are actually replaced by guilt, and his ego, self worth likely needs to be recharged with new hate.. and is replaced with more and larger hatred of the others. I have seen this type of wrong behavior not just in bad managers, bad politicians, bad persons, but in alcoholics, and most often in Albertan rednecks ,but also in religious fundamentals evangelicals who promote hated towards Pentecostal Christians as well, and now as well as the crooked pastor wrongfully fighting for control over others.
Public exposure and prosecution of these bad persons here too serves everyone’s best interest.