Tag Archives: youth crime

Young Offenders, Sibling rivalry, War

     
Sibling rivalry, war is the jealousy, competition and fighting between the unloving and/or  unloved brothers and sisters firstly.  It is a concern for almost all parents of two or more kids. Problems often start right after the birth of the second child.  Sibling rivalry usually continues throughout childhood and even adulthood, it can be very embarrassing, frustrating and stressful to parents.  There some things parents can do to help their young kids get along better and work through conflicts in positive ways and  help you keep the peace at your house.
 

Sibling rivalry, war  is as old as the children of Adam and Eve and is too often recorded now as a sin in the Bible as well that has negative consequences on the persons involved and even others.
 
The real sad part is that many adults play also this false game still too.. Conquer and destroy!
 
 Sibling rivalry can also be caused by proximity in age. Research suggests that siblings that are within two years’ age of one another tend to have more sibling rivalry than other siblings.  Ultimately, sibling rivalry is often caused not only by by blocked goals but by  poor personal communication skills, bad or extreme values,  just like almost any other sorts of adult conflicts and wars

There are many factors that contribute to sibling rivalry:
 
-Past and present neglect of the siblings by the parents will top it all.. there are overarching sorts of factors and events that can be, ultimately, the root causes of any sibling rivalry. Knowing what these important factors and events are can help you to not only understand the causes of sibling rivalry, but to deal with sibling rivalry more effectively when it does occur. Some of the most common causes of sibling rivalry tends to be jealousy or selfishness.
-Each child, person  is mostly competing to define who they are as an individual.  As they discover who they are, they try to find their own talents, activities, and interests.  They want to show that they are separate from their siblings.
-Rejected Children, Adults too  feel they are getting unequal amounts of your attention, discipline, and responsiveness.
-Children often may feel their relationship with their parents is threatened by the arrival of a new baby. 
-A  children’s and an Adult’s developmental stages affect how well they can share your attention and get along with one another. 
-Children and adults  who are hungry, bored or tired, nervous, stressed out  are more likely to start fights.
– Too many Children, adults too  do not know positive ways to get attention from their brother or sister, so they pick fights. 
– Family dynamics play a serious role here as well when one of the parent  neglect one of their children, or shows a false favoring, partiality,. We are reminded this happened in the biblical account of Joseph and his brothers due to his new coat of many colors,
– Children, adults  will fight more with each other in families where there is no set bounders, understanding that their fighting is not an acceptable way to resolve conflicts. 
– All Families that don’t share enjoyable times together will probably have more family conflict next exasperated by a jealous immoral, insecure, poor self esteem  spouse(s)  of the siblings now too
– Unresolved Stress, poor health  in the parent’s lives will often  decrease the amount of still need attention parents give the children and thus increase the sibling rivalry. 
– Stress in the  children’s lives will next  shorten their fuses, and create more conflict, cause significant home, community  and even health problems as well

So how the good and bad parents do now still treat their kids, children and how they do now react to conflict will  make a big difference in how well siblings get along.  

The degree of existence of sibling rivalry, young offenders, gangs  tends to show how good of a parent, manager, administrator now you really were, are.

“as many as 53 out of every 100 children abuse a brother or sister, higher than the percentage of adults who abuse their children or their spouse. What some kids do to their brother or sister inside the family would be called assault outside the family. As parents, we may be tempted to ignore fighting and quarrelling between children. We may view these activities as a normal part of growing up. We say, “Kids will be kids” or “They’ll grow out of it.”   However, thousands of adult survivors of sibling abuse tell of the far-reaching negative effects that such unchecked behavior has had on them as children and adults. Children often abuse a brother or sister, usually younger than themselves, to gain power and control. One explanation for this is that the abusive child (generally with a poor self esteem) feels powerless, neglected and insecure. He or she may feel strong only in relation to a sibling being powerless. The feeling of power children experience when they mistreat a brother or sister often reinforces their decision to repeat the abuse ”  http://www.sasian.org/papers/rivabuse.htm
 
Why do we hear of the Russian Mafia, and the Asian Gangs now more increasing, because their parents have neglected them while they were busy trying to get rich, richer.
 
(James 4:1 KJV)  From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?
2  Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.
3  Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.
4  Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
5  Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy?
6  But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.
7  Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
8  Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
9  Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness.
10  Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.
11  Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.
12  There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?
13  Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain:
14  Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.
15  For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.
16  But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil.
17  Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.
5:1  Go to now, ye rich men, weep and howl for your miseries that shall come upon you.
2  Your riches are corrupted, and your garments are motheaten.
3  Your gold and silver is cankered; and the rust of them shall be a witness against you, and shall eat your flesh as it were fire. Ye have heaped treasure together for the last days.
   
 
 
 
 
(Prov 22:6 KJV)  Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.– Train your children firstly in the right way.. neglect any of them and everyone next will pay the negative price..
 
– Tell them that being self centered, selfish, concerned only about their own needs, desires is still an unacceptable sin, negative approach.
– Don’t play favorites or refuse to forgive, do not take sides as well. Your children need to learn that you will do your best to meet each of their unique needs. 
– Never compare your children.  
– Don’t typecast.  Let each child be who they are.  Don’t try to pigeonhole or label them
– Set your kids up to cooperate rather than compete.
– Teach your kids positive ways to get attention from each other.
– Don’t yell or lecture.  It really won’t help at all..
– Listen—really listen—to how your children feel about what’s going on in the family. and next also act upon it positively. They seek the parent’s help first often,  They may not be so demanding if they know you at least care how they feel. “When parents falsely unwisely crash, jump into sibling spats, they often protect one child (usually the younger sibling) against the other (usually the older one).  This escalates the conflict, because the older child resents the younger, and the younger feels that they can get away with more since the parent is “on their side.”  ”
– Celebrate your children’s differences, positive aspects and not mainly their negatives.
– Let each child know they are still unique and special— accept them, you love and care for them, just for whom they are.
– Encourage win-win negotiations, where each side gains something.
– If you are constantly angry at your kids, no wonder they are angry at each other!  Anger feeds on itself.  Learn to manage your anger, so you can teach your children how to manage theirs. 
– learn, Teach conflict resolution skills during calm times.
– Personally Model good conflict resolution skills for your kids.  
– Try to Involve your children in setting ground rules. 
– Enforced Ground rules, with clear and consistent consequences for breaking them, can help prevent many squabbles.
  
Summary
    
(Psalm 133:1 KJV)  Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!
    
 Sibling rivalry is a type of competition or animosity among brothers and sisters, blood-related or not..  the sibling bond is often complicated and is influenced by factors such as parental treatment, birth order, personality, and people and experiences outside the family. Sibling rivalry is particularly intense when children are very close in age and of the same gender, or where one child is intellectually gifted, or one child has received or attains  a bigger inheritance, earning, position, status in life. Adolescents fight for the same reasons younger children fight,  Fighting with siblings as a way to get attention, power  may increase in adolescence. Events even such as a strained marriage may  drive them seriously  apart. Sibling Rivalry in the Bible – sample cases: Cain and Abel, Esau and Jacob, and Joseph and his brothers., Leah and Rachel, and today’s counterpart is the conflicts between the Arabs and the Jews, gangs, Mafia
   
(Prov 15:1 KJV)  A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
  
 
Siblings often do fight for a number of reasons.
-They fight because they want a parent’s or other person’s attention, especially where the parent has only so much time, attention and patience to give.
-They fight because they are selfish, jealous: “He got a new bike. I didn’t. They must love him more than they love me.”
-They even fight over ordinary teasing which is a way of testing the effects of behavior and words on another person: “He called me…” “But she called me…first.”
-They fight because they are growing up in a competitive, aggressive, self centered, worldly, dog eat dog,   society that falsely teaches them that to get it, to win is to be better than to be the loser. “I saw it first.” “I beat you to the water.” 
 
Lessons about jealousy, competition, sharing and kindness are difficult to learn, and, indeed, even many adults still still haven’t learned them. Too many adolescent may not recognize, admit still  their needs or may be too embarrassed to express them verbally, so their ongoing fighting with siblingsis a way to get their need personal  attention which often next  actually increase in adolescence life.

 

A Parent’s Checklist
As a parent, do you:
-Set aside some time to be alone with each child?
-Recognize that each child is different?
-Make sure your adolescents realize they are each unique and have a special set of strengths?
-Praise adolescents for being who they are and not just for what they can do?
-Avoid initiating competition among children?
-Realize adolescents and younger children need to be given the right also to decide not to share at least some of the time?
-Be sure older children are not usually forced to give in to younger ones because “he’s little” or “she doesn’t know better?”
-Talk positively to the adolescents about their fighting?
-Falsely encourage, promote the sibling fighting?
 

 

 
So the still mostly useless Albertan Prime Minister Stephen Harper and federal Justice Minister Rob Nicholson MP want to get tough on the young offenders, instead of on the parents, show to us all how ignorantly they are and very poor parents now too.. They clearly themselves firstly need to be educated.
 

Quebec proof federal tough-on-crime strategy doesn’t work: experts

The Canadian Press   MONTREAL – While the economy will no doubt take centre stage when Parliament resumes sitting in the new year, the Conservatives are making it clear that plans to get tough on youth crime will also be high on their agenda.  Should the Tory government survive, there’s little doubt it will move forward with strengthening the Youth Criminal Justice Act to have it include life sentences for convicted murderers as young as 14.  It would come in a year in which Albertans mark the 10th anniversary of the Taber school shooting and months after a rise in the number of iPod muggings was brought to light by the trial of a teen who fatally stabbed a man on a city bus in Ottawa  With that backdrop, the Tories’ tough-on-teens approach sits well with many, mianly according to Justice Minister Rob Nicholson.  But there’s one place in Canada where authorities have long taken a different approach – Quebec.  Tackling youth crime was among the Conservatives’ key election planks, but it was also one of the issues that angered Quebecers and prevented the Tories from broadening their support in the province.  Figures compiled by the Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics show Quebec’s emphasis on prevention and rehabilitation over incarceration has served the province well. In fact, the youth crime rate in Quebec has consistently been the lowest in all of Canada.  In 2007, for example, for every 100,000 young people aged 12 to 17 in Quebec, just 1,610 were involved in a crime.  In the Northwest Territories, the region where youth crime rates have traditionally been the highest, that figure was 10,491.  British Columbia recorded the second lowest youth crime rate in Canada, followed by Prince Edward Island, Ontario, Newfoundland and New Brunswick.   Meanwhile, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Nova Scotia and Alberta recorded the highest crime rates.  Montreal criminologist Michele Goyette said the Conservative mentality of setting minimum penalties doesn’t sit well in Quebec, where there was strong  opposition to replacing the Young Offenders Act, which combined punishment and rehabilitation, with the YCJA, which favours increased penalties.  “Anything that seeks to create automatic sanctions for us, that’s against our beliefs,” said Goyette, who works at the Centre jeunesse de Montreal, a social-services agency for troubled youth.  Each person is evaluated individually and a rehabilitation program that might include drug treatment, anger management, job training or academic classes is established regardless of whether the individual is in custody or serving a sentence in the community.  While many other parts of the country have since caught on, Goyette said Quebec also has a long-standing practice of handling minor offences outside of the court system.  Theft or shoplifting cases, for example, might be dealt with through mediation or reparations with the victim, she said. Universite de Montreal criminologist Jean Trepanier said Quebec’s approach to juvenile delinquency dates back to the 1950s when an institution for boys known as Boscoville introduced a variety of psychological and educational interventions aimed at rehabilitation.  By the 1960s, the Universite de Montreal had even developed programs in “psycho-education,” he wrote in a 2004 article published in the Canadian Journal of Criminology and Criminal Justice.  “With good programs, what we can hope for is the delinquent activity will diminish and disappear earlier,” he said in an interview.  The use of extra-judicial measures has traditionally meant far fewer young people ending up before the courts in Quebec, Trepanier said.  Statistics show the introduction of the Youth Criminal Justice Act, which placed a greater emphasis on such measures, led to similar trends across the country.  It also led to fewer and shorter custodial sentences, but Trepanier said a lack of flexibility within the YCJA has effectively limited the ability of youth workers to design effective rehabilitation programs.  “Youth are often sentenced to very short custodial sentences in which we can’t undertake a rehabilitation program and as such… they re-offend and they end up in custody for another short period,” he said.  “Six sentences of one month don’t have the same effect as one six-month sentence even if the total length is the same.”  Statistics show about 10 per cent of convicted youths in Quebec received a custodial sentence in 2006-2007, the second lowest in the country after Manitoba.  Two-thirds of guilty-youth cases resulted in probation. Quebec was by far the province most likely to sentence teens to  community service at 48 per cent, double the national average.  Irvin Waller, a criminologist with the University of Ottawa’s Institute for the Prevention of Crime, suggested Quebec’s strong social safety net and “sophisticated” youth protection system have also contributed to lower crime rates.  Besides focusing on rehabilitation for those already in trouble with the law, Quebec has invested heavily in programs that prevent crime.  “The city of Montreal has invested in youth centres in areas where there were likely to be a lot of young people joining gangs,” he offered as an example.  “It’s not a coincidence that (Montreal) has the lowest estimated number of youth gang members per capita of any major city in Canada.”  He also touted the province’s $7-a-day daycare system as the sort of social policy that’s likely to reduce youth crime rates over time.  While he agrees Quebec has consistently been the most progressive when it comes to its approach to youth crime, Waller said Alberta is poised to outpace it.  In November 2007, the province launched a three-pronged “Safe Communities” initiative aimed at reducing crime by focusing on enforcement, prevention and treatment.  The $468-million, three-year project has resulted in the opening of 20 new treatment beds for 18-24-year-olds recovering from addictions and the elimination of cheap drink specials at bars to improve staff and patron safety and avoid excessive liquor consumption.  Alberta also plans to boost mental health services for children, substance abuse awareness in schools and make the transition back into the community easier for high risk youth.  “This is the first three years of changing the way that government approaches these situations,” Alberta Justice Minister Alison Redford said.  In Ontario, a recent report on youth violence found racism and poverty were direct contributors and recommended providing anti-racism training to police officers and ensuring teachers and school administrators better reflect the neighbourhoods they serve. It also called for $200-million for improved mental health services as well as better co-ordination among government ministries.  Critics have argued the $2-million report, commissioned by the province after the fatal May 2007 school shooting of 15-year-old Jordan Manners in Toronto, merely stated the obvious and that the cash-strapped province likely won’t be able to implement the recommendations anyway. 
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/081226/national/year_youth_crime
 
I am always amazed when some ignorant, immoral persons demand, especially it seems uncompassionate Conservatives, who clearly too often still fail to change themselves, so they falsely think others being able to change is impossible as well,  so they do try to enforce the “letter of the law” over the “spirit of the law”.. the “spirit of the law” means an attempt to allow a person to repent, rehabilitation, where as the “letter of the law” falsely demands full incarceration, punishments. Furthermore punishing children for the often neglect, sins of their own  parents is still also absurd.. if anyone who should be punished here firstly it should be the parents anyway! Parents buck passing their sins onto the others is really criminal.
 
(Prov 22:6 KJV)  Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
 
Ironically this issue was one of the main reasons that the Tories failed to get reelected and now they are stupid enough to try it again, they thus will be making the alternative coalition government of liberals being even more attractive to many next instead.
  
(John 8:7 KJV)  So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
 
Like I wrote before
 
“The Bloc got another break when Stephen Harper made a statement pushing for teens who commit serious crimes to serve jail sentences in adult prisons. Mr. Duceppe slammed the Prime Minister for delivering “fresh meat” to prison pedophiles and sending young criminals to “the university of crime.”” http://www.nationalpost.com/news/canada/election-2008/story.html?id=882332
 
Now really How can a now Alberta, redneck that was personally now even raised in Montreal, Quebec,  now get it so wrong, did he accidently offend the people of Quebec or did he do so knowingly because he not care if it did cause he was trying to please so hard his hypocritical, Conservative rednecks of Alberta, who do emphasize now wrongfully now the letter of   the law over the  spirit of the law.. for now when there is an increase of  problem children, juvenile delinquents,  it is the parents firstly who have to take the majority of the blame and not the children. Surely the self professing Christian evangelical, Alliance church,  Conservative Prime Minister Stephen Harper knows this from his own personal Bible readings? (Prov  22:6 KJV)  Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
 
 
or is Stephen Harper now also, still just a pretender Christian now too not just a pretender poltician?