More about Control freaks. Fears too.

Face it one now being any kind of a  Control freak is a big, bad unacceptable  disease..  and it must be treated as such..
Control freaks do often have a terrible personal, social  life too and they do often make all life terrible for those they live with, marry, work with, come in contact with.
 
Now for an examole Graphics, arts and photography have been hobbies of mine for decades, so it should not come as a surprise to my friends, neighbors, others to see me taking digital pictures, including scenery, trees, flowers..  http://picasaweb.google.com/thenonconformer  
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but I am often amazed how many times I have seen now local housewives  objectionably running out of their  front door with a phone in their hand ready to call police because they saw that I was on the sidewalk taking a picture of their tree, shrub, flower in their yard.. these are also the evidently bad control freaks.. these people who manifest Psychological Disorders or Abnormal Behavior, showing  a personal behavior that is either deviant, maladaptive, or personally distressful. All Meaning they likely need real, valid professional help. Includes now also their having  an  “abnormal thought processes”.
 
 It is like the line from Simon and Garfunkels’ song, The Boxer: where ” a man hears what he wants to hear . And disregards the rest.” and the sick ladies had openly screamed to me, you are crazy, no person in his right mind now takes pictures of flowers, you have an alternative agenda.. clearly this showing now yes they have lost it..  sadly lost touch with reality.
  
Too often the Control freaks are very likely even very close to you people who are too often personally afraid and are desperately now trying to manipulate others and their environments to minimize their own fears, all now mostly done  likely still out of reality, motivated by often their  false fears now too.  They are the often Fear-driven persons who question and complain to all others unless every task is done by others as they want it too be done, practical or not, to the full satisfaction of their own selfish needs, desires which much always come first. Do they feel guilty living such a clearly selfish, self centered life.. now, not openly and explains why they tend to behave so crazy like too. Covering up for them, falsely denying who they are  is also still  an act of the other crazy people now too.
 
These bad control freaks their sad present development it  now has too often been a long time in the making now, for they did not arrive  to this disturbed state of mind likely even over night. Their clear need to control others is almost always still mostly  fueled by their self centered kingdom, yes their ongoing selfishness, self centeredness, anxiety, not just their personal fears, and  imaginary ones mostly too, Such as those very suspicious persons openly questioning my motives for taking pictures of flowers. I now have learned to take time to smell the roses and to enjoy them. They sadly now  have not.. 
 
Yes the control freaks wrongfully seldom recognize any of their negative behaviors, acts so  never mind next openly even now admitting their own motivation fears. Which leads to the question can there be next hope for them.. unlikely…
  
Unresolved Personal guilt, Fear, anxiety can  lead  next to some people with their still ‘liveable’ responses but with others it may leads them to a deeply disabled, disturbed responses, even to a long lasting, permanently disturbed mind and life. Excessive anxiety and fear are yes common factors in some common personal emotional and physical illnesses causing extreme self-focus and apprehension. 
  
Their own  lives, views, expressions, words  are also characterized by them too often falsely listening to other’s  lies, gossip, slanders,  exaggerations,  distortions of reality too. Clearly they the control freaks are some of the  People who have lost the fundamental grasp of truths and reality it seems. They are Sick, sick persons  who have   turned inward, defending themselves from their anxiety and usually hiding  from real life in general.So instead of embracing all activities as a challenge where unexpected, difficult  things are anticipated with pleasure and the person is open to new experience, rather now many activities are solely come to be seen as a potential threat and are looked at with suspicion and fearful anticipation; and a happy life for them falsely begins to close down.
 
Best Solution -Disregard simply their demands always and do not give into them, for it will wrongfully reinforce that they were right about their too often still unfounded fears rather too.. 
 
And  most people do now try hard to avoid the Control freaks, by desperately trying to have nothing to do with them in case these supposedly crazies next might really go berserk and do something stupid, violent, embarrassing next.. for this fear motivation that  the control freaks  they tend to have is not at all healthy or normal. Do readily now Tell them to get help, and the sooner the better,  to deal with their much too many fears due often to their personal  unresolved guilt,  and/or fears of negative resulting possible consequences, or the fear of dying, getting hurt, being fired, mugged, becoming poor,  or whatever..
 
For the Non physically handicapped person suffering  from considerable feelings of guilt, from considerable feelings of inadequacy that is   now so obvious a reality in real life  for them too needs also to be properly addressed..
 
The control minded Sickness, Illness can likely rightfully often be associated with the person’s own past actual   bad acts, unresolved moral guilt in their own contemporary minds and their subsequent behavior now seen as  related punishment for their own past, unconfessed, unrepented of moral wrongdoings that can,  does come forth  and so such association of cause and effect can really still exists for them as well
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(1 Th 4:7 KJV)  For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness.(1 Th 5:9 KJV)  For God hath not appointed us to wrath, but to obtain salvation by our Lord Jesus Christ,(2 Tim 1:7 KJV)  For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
 
You may also seriously want to look more into why some people personally  tend to have a large, a false amount of guilt, phobias, unresolved genuine fears too.
 
Have you ever felt guilty? Of course you have, usually because you were indeed guilty. But not always!
 
Phobia. [Gr. phobos, fear.] any persistent, irrational, and excessive fear of some particular thing or situation. (Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionary, 1983 Many People who have struggled with phobias understand how immune such phobias where even the irrational fears continue to plague the victim.
 
Many “People with low self-esteem experience a high degree of insecurity and jeopardy. They do not feel safe most of the time. One defense is to become a perfectionist. After all if you do something perfectly, you are beyond criticism and no one can hurt you. Perfectionism is an attempt to create perfect safety (which is, needless to say, unattainable). The other safety attempt is to become a control freak and try to control everything. If we can control everything, nothing will ever jump up and surprise or hurt us. 
 
 People with low self-esteem tend to live in a closed system that is hard to break. Because they have difficulty admitting negatives, either about themselves or their behavior, it is hard to reach them. It is especially difficult for someone with low self-esteem who is defensive or in denial to admit that they are afraid. As a result, it is difficult, occasionally impossible, to reassure them that it is okay to be afraid or to be in pain. Their major fear is that it is all their fault. That’s a lie. It is not all their fault, but it’s a lie that’s hard to surrender.”   http://www.getnewvisions.com/se/03crse_symptoms.html
 
People who are doing wrong, doing their own thing without God rightfully still do need to feel guilty about they wrongs they are doing too. Believe it or not if you continually cheat, lie, steal, commit adultery, tell lies, do bad things, etc you will subconsciously even feel bad about yourself and have a very low self esteem too and often falsely try  to compensate the void by the false counterfeits still of power, control, more lusts, money etc., to no permanent avail too
 
But what about those times when you have feelings of guilt even when you didn’t do anything wrong?
 
Some people say that “Usually a person driven by false guilt is afraid of freedom because in every act of freedom is the possibility of offending someone. Offending someone is unacceptable. Other people are seen as pipelines of approval. If they’re offended, the pipeline shuts down.” Maybe you feel guilty cause you have been lazy and did not much good too? so you feel this void in your own life?see also http://www.anxietycare.org.uk/docs/agoraphobia.asp
 
and there is also the genuine and also the false religious fears now too..”Relatively little attention is given by many of us  to religious fears, however. It is apparent that manipulative minds can readily distort the scriptures in order to produce feelings of fear, guilt, remorse and even hysteria. The followers of Jim Jones and Ayatollah Khomeini can attest to that. What is surprising is that often the victims are aware of their paranoia and know it to be destructive, but feel powerless to overcome it. ” http://www.freeminds.org/psych/phobias.htm
Now if something you are doing makes you feel really bad, first do find out why and maybe stop doing it too. Or maybe not! Don’t take the false blame for another persons fault, sickness, sin.
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Forget being nice, kind, friendly to a really bad person is still also a complete waste of time, for they will not change their negative behaviors on their own, they see no reasons to do so now still too. Sad but true.

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We cannot never control a bad person, a drug addict or an alcoholic, but we can learn all about it and learn firstly to control our own behavior, appropriate responses –including how we should behave in the relationship with the sick and suffering and /or possibly manipulative addict or alcoholic, abuser OR THESE pretentious persons..

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Public exposure and prosecution of the guilty persons seems to be most effective way that works for everyone’s benefit in dealing with the bad acts of others still.

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While I still do believe in all things work for the best for those who love God, but I still do rightfully  rebuke all evil persons and yes rightfully still.. I do not accept rightfully their abuse of others. Here is my reality..

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Control freaks are demonic persons, led by the devil, who try to bring us into bondage, and they tend to  get a lot more crazy, get a lot worse..

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I really often do try to learn from the many diverse experiences I encounter in life, to be able to deal with them more effectively and to be able to help, share more simply with any others even the solutions as well as to what I have experienced  and what I have learned now as well..   http://redreadingroom.blogspot.com/2008/01/intro.html
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I do not have to accept any of the negative consequences, or bad acts of other persons  and their sins too. That includes their verbal abuse, physical abuse, slander, lies, emotional abuses, their false silent treatment too now. etc.. I can even tell them that now too.
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I still am often amazed how many control freaks I do encounter, and yes often they can also be found in schools, homes, work, church,  governments, elsewhere too.. these are people who often claim they are giving you some helpful hints, tips, advice but are trying to manipulate you to do something they rather want.
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Many professing Christian persons see themselves as teachers, facilitators, coordinators, leaders, when in fact they are still just dictators, bullies, some even immoral aggressive jungle fighters, control freaks who need to repent.. 
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Learn to be wise, kind too

(Job 28:28 KJV)  And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding.

(2 Chr 19:7 KJV)  Wherefore now let the fear of the LORD be upon you; take heed and do it: for there is no iniquity with the LORD our God, nor respect of persons, nor taking of gifts

(Psa 19:9 KJV)  The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring for ever: the judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether.

(Psa 34:11 KJV)  Come, ye children, hearken unto me: I will teach you the fear of the LORD.

(Psa 111:10 KJV)  The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endureth for ever.

(Prov 1:7 KJV)  The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

(Prov 1:29 KJV)  For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the LORD:

(Prov 8:13 KJV)  The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate.

(Prov 9:10 KJV)  The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.

(Prov 10:27 KJV)  The fear of the LORD prolongeth days: but the years of the wicked shall be shortened.

(Prov 14:27 KJV)  The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death.

(Prov 15:16 KJV)  Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble therewith.

(Prov 15:33 KJV)  The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom; and before honour is humility.

(Prov 19:23 KJV)  The fear of the LORD tendeth to life: and he that hath it shall abide satisfied; he shall not be visited with evil.

(Prov 23:17 KJV)  Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the LORD all the day long.

(Isa 33:6 KJV)  And wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability of thy times, and strength of salvation: the fear of the LORD is his treasure.

(Acts 9:31 KJV)  Then had the churches rest throughout all Judaea and Galilee and Samaria, and were edified; and walking in the fear of the Lord, and in the comfort of the Holy Ghost, were multiplied.

now that all should be adequate food for thought..

see also

34 responses to “More about Control freaks. Fears too.

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  6. “there’s no one answer to abuse…..here is one that helps you till God deals with the other person.. he often takes them far away from you, and some even die early

    http://alabaxterblog.wordpress.com/2008/08/15/the-answer-to-abuse/

    I know my life changed and the violence went out of it when I met Jesus, the lover of my soul. I was different. I am different. I am changing day by day – more into His likeness – and less like the world patterned me. Less like the one all the bad decisions made me. More like someone you could trust and respect.

    Here’s a study to show you how to live in such a way abuse is not in the picture. I did this study many years ago, and it is still motivating. It is still the best guage for behavior no one is ashamed of – it’s what Jesus wants to find in us. He is the only one who can change us – take advantage of that fact. He will help you.

    In the meantime, I grieve for you who are hurting – and I’m praying for you to meet the Savior.

    An Illustration of Abundant Life in the New Testament.

    (All scriptures NKJV unless otherwise noted.)

    LOVE ONE ANOTHER

    John 13:34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another

    John 15:12 This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

    John 15:17 These things I command you, that you love one another.

    Romans 13:8 Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.

    1 Thessalonians 4:9 But concerning brotherly love you have no need that I should write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love one another;

    1 Peter 1:22 Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart,

    1 John 3:11 For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another,

    1 John 3:23 And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment.

    1 John 4:7, 11, 12 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God…Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us.

    2 John 5 And now I plead with you, lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment to you, but that which we have had from the beginning: that we love one another.

    BE KINDLY AFFECTIONATE ONE TO ANOTHER

    Romans 12:10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another;

    PREFERRING ONE ANOTHER

    Romans 12:10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another

    DON‘T JUDGE ONE ANOTHER

    Romans 14:13 Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way.

    RECEIVE ONE ANOTHER

    Romans 15:7 Therefore receive one another, just as Christ also received us, to the glory of God

    GREET ONE ANOTHER WITH A HOLY KISS

    Romans 16:16 Greet one another with a holy kiss. The churches of Christ greet you.

    2 Corinthians 13:12 Greet one another with a holy kiss

    1 Corinthians 16:20 All the brethren greet you. Greet one another with a holy kiss.

    1 Peter 5:14 Greet one another with a kiss of love. Peace to you all who are in Christ Jesus. Amen.

    BE KIND ONE TO ANOTHER

    Ephesians 4:32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.

    FORGIVING, FORBEARING ONE ANOTHER

    Ephesians 4:2 with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace

    Colossians 3:13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

    ADMONISH, EXHORT, TEACH AND PROVOKE ONE ANOTHER

    Romans 15:14 Now I myself am confident concerning you, my brethren, that you also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another.

    Colossians 3:16-17 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

    Hebrews 3:13 but exhort one another daily, while it is called “Today,” lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.

    Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.

    COMFORT ONE ANOTHER, EDIFY ONE ANOTHER

    1 Thessalonians 4:18 Therefore comfort one another with these words

    1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.

    SERVE ONE ANOTHER,

    Galatians 5:13 For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

    BE SUBMISSIVE ONE TO ANOTHER

    Ephesians 5:21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.

    1 Peter 5:5 5 Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.””

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